I've been meaning to read your blogs for some time and finally did today. I can very much sympathize with your struggle. My first two to three years on the forum was a really rough time for me. Some can make the switch from smoking to vaping with ease and others like you and I struggle with it. After almost three years of guilting myself into depression over having a cigarette, I've finally found myself in what I consider to be a good place for me physically and mentally. I wish the same for you. I know it's a tough battle but you can do it. You just have to be willing to ride out the battle no matter how long it takes.
WOW I'm completely blown away by your honesty yet feeling like I want to reach out and help. Realize you'll always have family here at ECF and in particular MANY good friends that enjoy your posts and warm spirit. If you EVER need to vent, talk or just want to say Hello my pm is always open to you my good friend.
Warm wishes and truly hoping the Best for you, Dan
fear has 2 meanings. forget everything, and run. or face everything and rise. as smokers, we usually prefer the former. which is why we inhale poison. say to our selves we know this is bad, but continue to behave the same way. it is learned behavior, dating back to when the Marlboro man used to visit me in between afternoon cartoons. at one time this stupidity was taught to children as we chowed down our breakfast cereals. now we are evil, for behavior taught to us by corporate America, and our own families. vaping is giving people the opportunity to rise above, and change for the better. i think the fear is worth it, at least to teach us never to repeat bad patterns so we never have to be afraid any more.
I get the scared. I have almost a full carton of cigs in a wine fridge. I'm scared to throw them away. They are over a month old now and I still can't bring myself to get rid of them either by throwing them out or giving them away. Just having them there I think helps me by knowing if I really, really want one, it is available.
Part of the fear is I was never successful in quitting before so why should this time be different. Maybe when I'm analog free for a year they will go bye-bye. Right now I'm enjoying thumbing my nose at them. Good luck friend!!