http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/ en Mon, 20 May 2013 16:39:51 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/ http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/2389-communicating.html Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:35:59 GMT Many threads on ECF are accused of being cliques. The definition of a clique according to wikipedia is

In the social sciences, the word "clique" is used to describe a group of 2 to 12 (averaging 5 or 6) “persons who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting.”^[1] Cliques are distinguished from "crowds" in that their members interact with one another (e.g., hang out together, go shopping, LAN parties). Crowds, on the other hand, are defined reputationally. Although the word 'clique' or 'cliquey' is often used in day-to-day conversation to describe relational aggression or snarky, gossipy behavior of groups of socially dominant teenage girls ('queen bees') this is not scientifically accurate. Interacting with cliques is part of normative social development regardless of gender, ethnicity, or “popularity.” Although cliques are most commonly studied during adolescence and middle childhood, they exist in all age groups.

When reading this definition the word ADOLESCENT jumped out at me. By virtue of the fact that vapers are of smoking age which can range from 18-21 in different states, we old timers must remember that many of our members are just that...........adolescents. Our ECF community has a wide spread demographic. One could be among a group of teens,middle aged mommas, fathers, retiree's, mentally ill, addicts and the disabled. We are a microcosm of America all united by a single solitary interest. We all want to vaporize our nicotine or use alternatives to smoking. Sometimes this commonality is lost in the mix of personalities, economic situation, and most importantly the written word as a single means of communication. This single form leaves much out of the communication. There is no body language, facial expression (albeit the smilies and emoticons do assist a bit) there is no other way to "get" what is being said except the written word and that can be a serious communication wall. Think of the sentence "What are you doing?" Now put emphasis on each word and repeat the sentence with the emphasis on each separate word. Many many things can be read into that small sentence. I try to be cognizant of the fact that we are not really communicating.... we are merely typing and sending words into cyberspace in hopes that our intent is received as intended.
I try to type once read three times and press post but sometimes in excitement the post comes before the read and havoc ensues. I hope anyone that cares enough to read this will accept my apologies if I have ever offended or ignored (THE WORST IMHO) a post. I assure you, I would never do so with bad intent. I am a person trying to be kind and a little silly. Please accept my apologies if I ever have done something to you that made you feel less than the awesome person God meant you to be. By the same token, I forgive those of you who have ignored me or posted over me. I know you are not in a clique.............you are just good friends, right? I sometimes feel like the high school gym class all over again...........getting picked last. Boy, I am darn glad I don't have to live that again............or do I?:blink: I choose not to. Oh BTW, Goodnight Bonnie. ]]> bonniegirl http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/2389-communicating.html http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/2197-choosing-joy.html Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:22:16 GMT Many may know,many not, but, I am the mother of a mentally ill, untreated addict. I am raising her son. He is a {newly} 6 year year old with empathy,... Many may know,many not, but, I am the mother of a mentally ill, untreated addict. I am raising her son. He is a {newly} 6 year year old with empathy, kindness and more importantly, compassion. He has had a lot of rough times and has seen things that many adults would shudder at the mere thought of. I am blessed to have him in my life. On Christmas eve, after reading and old family tradition book called the littlest Angel, telling the story of the birth of the Christ child and then saying his prayers, he turned to me and said "Nana, you are my Christmas star,you lead me to Jesus." After I gathered myself, I said, "thank you my angel". He has cried many nights for his Momma and I do not know what to say except, "I understand, I am sad too", and we cry together. Of late,I have been teaching him what I have done ever since the"Big one."I had 3 heart attacks and then an open heart triple bypass. I also have rheumatoid and many other illnesses and diseases. Mainly, I feel like crap most of the time. Every morning, around 6 am, I awake with stiffness, pain and sometimes agonize in tears. BUT.........I do not crawl in a heap and cry or let the pain own me.(well,most days.....some days I give myself permission) I choose JOY. Joy is not given to you most of the time. Sure, you get joyful over a new mod or a good vape just when you needed it most or a compliment or your kids achieving something or someone giving you a gift but real true daily joyfulness is a gift you give yourself. I didn't learn this from a Guru or a shrink, it happened by happenstance. I needed to model for my angel Gabriel that even though times are sad and bad and lonely and hard, you can still be happy. I knew that children learn not from what you say but what you do and I had to do what I was asking of him. Oh, what a gift I have been given at the sub zero temperatured bus stop. My bones are aching from the cold, my hip howling from the walk, each step is an effort from the fatigue that is an ever present part of rheumatoid. I could envy the grandparents that pick their little ones up on a Saturday, take them to the toy store, let them eat candy and then buy them ice cream and then drop them off at their homes and wave bye.. THOSE kind of grandparents can LOL when their grandbabies get chocolate all over their clothes! I COULD be miserable and hurry the angel along instead of letting him chase the squirrel up the tree or stop to pick up the "Cutest tiny pinecone in the whole wide world." I COULD scold him for touching the worm that crawled out from the street sweepers disturbance of his warm earth. BUT, he is choosing his JOY. AND, I get to be the one to kiss his angel face 100 times a day and get my JOY. I am glad I choose joy. You should try it. ]]> bonniegirl http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/2197-choosing-joy.html http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/1773-finding-right-your-world.html Fri, 15 Jul 2011 12:40:49 GMT ............tis a fine morning here and the birds are singing and the family of goldfinches are having a family meal at the birdfeeder to amuse and... ............tis a fine morning here and the birds are singing and the family of goldfinches are having a family meal at the birdfeeder to amuse and delight me. Yeah, there is a lot wrong with the world............our justice system working the way it should but many not liking the outcome, people hurting and doing worse to our children, unemployment, folks losing their homes and their ability to care for themselves, apathy towards our government leaders and the process, sickness, disease and diseases not recognized.........the taboo, the mentally ill, the addict, the pariah syndrome afflicted......(HIV, AIDS,HEP C), yes, our education system is lacking and we struggle behind other countries in our childrens Math and Science scores. We are losing the pissing match of world domination. IDK about you all but I don't need to dominate anyone or anything. I want a fair wage, to be able to pay my bills on time, happy, healthy children and most of all the freedom to do all that and choose to worship as I please.
Yeah, there is a lot wrong but I choose to see what is right in our world. Our constitution and the bill of rights are IMHO the best in the world. I enjoy my freedoms and know that they were not given to me freely.........men fought for me to have them. We hear the bad but never hear the good. When was the last time someone told you of a fender bender in the wally world parking lot where no one was hurt and each checked the others car and apologized and handled the "accident" as an accident instead of a gun fight? Nah, we tell about the 5 car pile ups on the expressway and the ambulances and the number hurt. Our eyes are fixed on the negative and if as much time was taken to seek out the good, our world, our towns, our neighborhoods would be safer, friendlier and kinder. I always took my two children to a homeless shelter or the veterans home to volunteer at holiday times to teach them to serve and to see how blessed they were. I tried last Thanksgiving to take my 5 year old Grandson to begin his teaching in service and was turned away as "no children below age 18 can volunteer." Try teaching an 18 year old to wake before noon on off school days and see how that goes..........too late at that age to teach.........he is already trained to text, sleep, fakebook, operate smart phones.......no time for service, "I have an online match at 3pm" or "we all are meeting in IRC chat at 8" or "I just got a tweet that Usher is in Newark, me and my friends are going." Social media has replaced human contact and while I love my online friends and need the support, camaraderie and fun of meeting new people, it is not the center of my life. Right at this moment, that family of goldfinches is and I am fine with that. I challenge you all to take 15 minutes each day to find your moments, think about what is right and give thanks to the God of your understanding. It really does make more things right in your world. ]]> bonniegirl http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/1773-finding-right-your-world.html http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/1190-civility.html Mon, 20 Dec 2010 17:24:09 GMT I never thought that I would be old enough to repeat my Grandmothers' words. I wish things were like when I was young. Change is always hard for people, I get that. But, Change for the worse is a real hard trick for this old dog to learn. The change I refer to is common civility. The acts of common courtesy and respect for others and their views. There was a time when a Catholic, a Presbyterian and an atheist could remain friends and never have discourse. One would think with the blossoming new "accept all" politically correct world, that such would be true.
Unfortunately, such is not the case in our communities, our neighborhoods and on the computer forums. There is a rule to the tune of address the post not the poster. I have seen many times when such is not the case. Completely ignoring a post is a well known way to address the poster without addressing, a passive/aggressive means with which to control a persons ideas, ideologies or thoughts. Ignoring a post is sometimes more hurtful than just agreeing to disagree in a civil manner.
With two U.S. led wars and many others that are happening outside the common knowledge, one would think that there would be peace at least at home. War breeds war IMO. Bullying others, declaring where and when houses of worship can be built, burning the Koran and other acts of discourse serve to flame the public into a righteous indignation and a sense of imperialism. "My group (religion, thought process,race, nationality, creed, whatever) is superior to all others and is the more intelligent and more "science based" of others." This is dangerous thinking IMO.
I am personally much like Sweden. I am neutral. I accept others opinions and agree or agree to disagree. I answer others with civility and expect like in return. I acknowledge the rights of all Americans to worship (or not) at will and above all, I respect others even when they don't respect me. But, today, I am wondering if respecting those that don't respect me is a form of bullying myself. Should I allow myself to be mistreated? Should I not care and protect the person I hold most dear? I am a worthy human. I am a valued and loyal friend. I have a humorous side that some admire and many "don't get." I am O.K. with that. I have an above average intelligence, am well read and well mannered and always say excuse me when I burp. I am not such a bad person.
I think from today on I will give myself permission to ignore uncivil people and if pursued, I will give myself the permission to tell them to back off. I will begin to be proactive in protecting myself from bullies and know-it-alls and "I have bigger and betters." I will no longer be a spectator to my own hanging. I will be cutting the rope.
I will be caring for my best friend, me. Today is a proud day. ]]> bonniegirl http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/blogs/bonniegirl/1190-civility.html