RWAR! a vent
by, 03-25-2010 at 05:40 AM (582 Views)
I have been around ECF since the end of Sept. last year, I dove in head first surrounded myself with as much as fast as I could.
HI! my name is Josh most of you see me as Dredbull which is an old avatar name from my wow days. I am 34 suffering from a brutal case of FM! I got it from my mother's side. And also a raging case of depression and uncaught ADHD, or at least it seems that way. I cannot get my brain to silence enough to get relaxed or into a state of relaxing enough to sleep.
Here I sit realizing a few things that deeply impacts me day to day.
Emotionally I am drained tapped out and spent. Managing my own frantic and hectic pace is bad enough but trying to juggle other crap along with it I think has gotten me to the breaking point. No not going to cause harm to myself but I mean the scrapping it and starting over point.
Most of my friends are in other states now with families, and lives that do not seem to click with each other any more. Which sucks and sucks worse when I just need a bro to talk to and a bro that has history with me. I seriously think it is time for a vacation away not a staycation but I loathe traveling that is the rub.
A ton of crap sandwichs have been piled at my plate, some building up for a time others just fresher and stinkier than others. Not matter the choice it has gotten to the point of facing the poo. I will the leave the gory and painful details out but lets just say it is time to chow down or just get up and walk away. I have had my fill.