So glad I found out about this stuff

I cannot express in words how happy I am that I found electronic cigarettes and smokeless tobacco since vaping leaves me yearning for something else. My mother had severe copd along with heart problems. A few weeks ago she had a heart attack so I packed up the family and drove to see her in the hospital. She was in the hospital for a couple weeks and was realeased. When I first walked into her room, she was wearing a bipap mask and I could see that she was struggling to breathe. You would think that sight would be enough to make anyone not smoke but not me. I fealt myself yearning for a smoke. A week after she was released, she passed away from heart failure that I was told was most likely caused because her heart wasn't getting enough oxygen which in turn was most likely caused by her years of heavy smoking. The morning at work that I got the call, even after seeing what I had, I started to cry and went outside and smoked a cigarette. To me it is purely evil how much of a hold cigarettes can have on a person. The following days leading up to the funeral and the day of, I smoked a few each day. Since I have gotten back home and into my routine, I'm doing much better. I can honestly say that I'll never go back to smoking full time but don't know if I will ever be able to say I'll never have another. It's funny to me how so many quit so easily with e-cigs but then there are the few out there like me that just can't seem to get past it. I quit guilting myself over it long ago and take it for what it is. I believe, after having done it to myself many times, that self persacution doesn't do anyone any good.