Intermediate Class: Filling Cartomizers - The Condom Method Part 2
by, 07-31-2011 at 10:44 PM (1155 Views)
Both the condom method and the syringe method begin with putting juice in a condom. (Theoretically they don't have to, but this is the easiest way, and we'll get to the rest. Patience)
Pick up a condom (the thing that looks like a Barbie water tumbler) and push it down into your piece of stale bread, or if you're very wealthy, you might feel more comfortable using foie gras.
Fill the condom about halfway up with juice. How you manage to accomplish this does not matter.
Squeeze the bottle with fingers or tongs or clip, touch the tip to the edge of the condom and do it by feel alone, counting drops, whatever, just get the thing halfway full of juice.
Now pick up the hatless cartomizer you've labeled with something that represents the juice you just put into the condom.
The next step is tricky. We're going to push the cartomizer down into the condom we just put the juice in.
First be sure that the open end, the end that had a hat before you removed it, is pointing up, and the silvery end is pointing down.
If you have a butt plug, put it into the hole in the silvery end. If you don't, or you've completely forgotten the previous rant where we discussed butt plugs and are so horrified to see such language here on ECF that you thought was a decent site, here are some things that can help:
check and see if it might be time for your pills.
Even if it's not, consider taking an extra anyway.
Resolve to call it derriere insert, to set a better example for impressionable young people
If you do not have a butt plug, don't worry about it.
If your hands are steady enough, you can hold the condom in one hand and the cartomizer in the other and push it in, if not, leave the condom there in the hush puppy and push it in.
You'll need to push very, very slowly. If you don't - PLOOSHPT! See? That's what happens.
Now wipe yourself off, get a fresh condom and fill it half full of juice, because that one's way to slippery now. (The juice, as you noticed while getting it all over yourself when you half-filled the condom the first time, is very, very slippery stuff. Yes, it feels icky).
As you push the cartomizer down into the juice, this will invoke the spirits of scientific principles, which will cause the juice to re-locate itself from the condom to the cartomizer.
When you've pushed it down all the way, sit and admire it for a minute, then pull it out, fill the condom half full of juice again, and push the cartomizer back down in, slowly, just like you did before.
Right around the third time, depending on how much vision you have, and magnifying equipment permitting, when you peer down into the open top of the cartomizer, you may be able to see juice begin to appear. This will be more likely to happen with juice that has a tint. You'll see the white Wal-Mart pillow stuffing that surrounds the scientific machinery begin to take on a little of the juice's color, or you may even be able to see a drop of juice come up through the hole in the middle!
Keep pushing, or fill and push again if you need to, and if you look again, you may see that the Wal-Mart pillow stuffing is now completely submerged!
Fold a Kleenex and put it to one side, out of the path of action, and set that cartomizer, condom and all, over onto the Kleenex, and just leave it there like that for now.
If you'll be practicing with only one flavor of juice, just label another cartomizer exactly like you did that one, put another condom into an un-punched area of the leftover hush puppy or thick slice of foie gras, and squeeze juice in, do the whole process just like you did it before!
If we're only using one juice flavor, why is it necessary to label only one cartomizer at a time?
And they say there's no such thing as a silly question!
In case we change our minds, duh!
If you're going to practice with more than one flavor of juice, put the top back on the first one and put it completely away. Don't forget to wipe it off. Just like you are by now, it's a slippery mess.
Get out the second bottle of juice, contemplate the name, scroll up and go through all the steps of deciding how to label the cartomizer that will contain this juice, put the name on the bottle and whatever you put on the cartomizer into your text file and save it, do everything just as you did before, with that second bottle of juice.
When you're done, wipe off everything and put it away, except for the cartomizers that are soaking in their condoms over there on the Kleenex, and go take a shower.
Nicotine is absorbed through the skin, and ours is now covered in the stuff.
How long, if at all, you need to let your cartomizers soak is another one of those subjects where opinions vary widely.
We're just practicing now, so it doesn't matter much, but hopefully our practice will at least add us to the list of people with an opinion on this question.
(Mine seem to work better when I let them sit in the condoms, hats off, for 24 hours, but then I'm just learning, and that could have to do with the specific juices I've been practicing with).
After you've gotten as much of the juice off yourself as you can, come back and peer anxiously down into the cartomizers on the Kleenex. The juice may have soaked in, or it may not.
Take a Kleenex and carefully pick up a condom, with the cartomizer still sitting in it.
Get another Kleenex, and holding it in the other hand, grasp the top of the cartomizer, and carefully wiggleslide the condom off.
Even if the juice hadn't soaked in, it probably will now, and you'll be able to watch a real live Scientific Process as it Takes Place!
There may be a little bit of juice left in the condom. Sit it down on the folded Kleenex. You can add a few drops more to it and fill another cartomizer!
If the Wal-Mart pillow stuffing is still submerged even after you take the condom off, put it back into the same condom with that little bit of juice in it that you just set down, and let it repose some more.
That's what we'll be doing when we use our Favorite Juice, so we want to go ahead and build good habits now.
Try leaving it there for 24 hours. If, at any time, you notice that the stuffing is not submerged, add a few drops of juice until it is.
If the stuffing is STILL submerged when the condom is removed, since this is just Practice Juice, you can just shake it out over the Reincarnation bin.
When we start doing this with our Favorite Juice, though, we'll use a syringe to take out that little drop and put it into another cartomizer. Waste not, want not.
Ask a loved one to help you remember where you put the little cartomizer hats.
When they're located, put them back on.
Wipe the cartomizer off carefully, paying special attention to the silvery bottom part that sat in the juice.
Hold a Kleenex under it, and blow into the little round hole in its hat, where you usually puff. Or Reverse Puff. It's probably a better idea to call it that.
The hole in the center goes all the way down, from the top of the cartomizer to its bottom.
Your mission, the reason for the reverse puffing, is to liberate and relocate any juice droplets that remain in that center - oh, dear, I had so hoped to avoid this word - shaft.
On to Intermediate Class: Filling Cartomizers - The Condom Method Part 3