Wussies. I shoot myself in the shoulder each morning just to feel what nerve endings I have left after wrestling a Peanut butter Snickers out of the jaws of a twice-rabid Great White shark that was trained by Seal Team Six to infiltrate the Persian Gulf. By the time 0700 rolls around and I'm done extracting the bullet and giving myself stitches I'm already choosing which Silverback Gorilla to face-punch into making my morning coffee that I scare into grinding itself. Pfft. And even if I did all this I wouldn't be half the bad ... that this guy is...
Badass of the Week: Hideaki Akaiwa
-Magnus