Sunday: Recovery and Gratitude
by, 07-15-2012 at 05:04 PM (196 Views)
This one's kinda long.
So, I was out for a friend's birthday last night. "What, pray, does this have to do with vaping?" I can hear you ask. (You sound either like Alan Rickman or Judi Dench, in my mind.) Well, it was my first real opportunity to head out and tie one on since giving up the cigarettes back on May 1st.
Yeah, I don't get out much. Work, family, preparing to become a homeowner. It doesn't leave a whole lot of time for other things.
Anyway, back to the story. I took along my Twist and a couple of cartos to get me through. This friend, and a few others at the party, still smoke and I wasn't sure how I would do surrounded by that kind of influence, especially if I were under the influence. Also, I thought it'd be a good opportunity to spread the vaping gospel.
I was peppered with questions when I first brought out my gear, and let a couple people try it out after explaining everything as best I could. I got some favourable reactions, so I brought up ECF. Maybe we'll be a couple more members strong before too long. I hope so.
At some point in the night, I'm about five beers deep, chatting with my friend when all of a sudden the overwhelming desire to have an actual cigarette insinuates itself into my brain. I try and scratch the itch with some vapor, but it doesn't go away. I try to ignore it. I get up and walk around to get away from the smell. Nothing works. I really, really want a cigarette.
Long story short (Hah!), I ask my friend for a drag. After some convincing, he hands over his smoke. It was an odd experience, even just holding it between my fingers. Some impressions I got were that it was too small, too soft, and too light. Kind of surprising, because I never went the cig-alike route with vaping. I jumped straight into an eGo setup.
After being momentarily surprised by how alien the cigarette felt in my hand, I raise the filter to my lips and take a drag. Soon as the smoke hit the back of my throat, I knew it was a bad idea. In the middle of a huge coughing fit, I manage to hand the analog back, thank my friend for obliging me, and that was that. I drained the rest of my beverage trying to get the taste out of my mouth and restore some equilibrium.
I don't know how I managed to do that to myself for 15 years. It seriously hurt, trying to suck back even a small drag. It tasted disgusting. It made me feel sick. I almost gave myself a hernia from coughing.
I'm glad I did it.
That one drag told me I was officially no longer a smoker, and cemented the complete lack of desire to ever start again in my mind. I am now confident I can weather even the strongest of my triggers.
To everyone here on ECF, I say thank you. And I mean everyone. Even if I have never met you, your presence here means that ECF exists. Without ECF, I never would've been able to stick with vaping. I would've picked up a shoddy, overpriced cig-alike, given it a shot for maybe a day, become frustrated, and gone right back into my old vices.
Thank you for giving me back my life, my health, and my confidence.
You can keep the heightened allergies, though.
Vape on, vape strong, vape proud.
This is MisterMike, signing off.