It turns out that when you're a new vaper, you find yourself hunting for the perfect juice.
For me, I found the perfect juice, but the juice didn't like me very much.
Damn you, Johnson Creek Apple Cider. I could have stockpiled you, horded dozens of little pretty glass bottles to get me through the long seasons (although I live in a place that has two seasons: winter, and the Fourth of July, but I digress). I introduced you to coworkers, and they rejoiced.
But like all first loves, you turned on me. My nose bled, my throat became the Sahara Desert, my lips cracked, my skin rashed. You made "rashed" a verb. You made my son's eyes water, and his eczema flare. I had to let you go, in hopes that better vapes, kinder vapes, gentler vapes would replace you.
First, all subsequent VG orders: WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS? This is not a luxury experience. This is not the release from the stigma and eventual death of analogs. This is air, with lots of pretty steam, and a tiny hint of flavor. This is...suck.
Does kinder, gentler vaping mean that I am holding a stick I must charge every 2 hours, fill with liquid every 2 hours, but receive no flavor, satisfaction, or pleasurable experience every 2 hours? It made me sad. It did not make me want a cigarette, though, which might be a minor miracle in itself. It made me whip out the credit card and order juice in a frenzy.
My previous, first blog explains my attempt to turn lemons into lemonade, or some facsimile thereof. It got me through today, gosh dagnib. Truth be told, it didn't taste as good when not drinking delicious wine, but hey...when they let me drink wine at work, who needs vaping?
(I am purposefully skipping a time in my life that occurred today titled: Cartomizers: Why do they exist, or what am I doing horribly wrong? Perhaps I will return to this. Meanwhile, I'm too busy drooling over custom box mods and dreaming of when I will order them. Also, you could title this: Co-workers: Leave me with my stupid condoms, dammit).
Tonight, the mailperson cometh. The mailperson has been comething ridiculously late of late, like USPS didn't get notified of DST, and they are pretending it's still light outside. It's not. It's dark and cold, and some genius decided that my very nice neighborhood with my very nice house should have a group mailbox, so I have to slip-slide my way to our communal gray stand, insert my key, and either walk away empty handed (someone is watching this walk of shame, I'm sure, I have nosy neighbors), or attempt to contain my stupid excitement of a soft small priority mail package (and not slip on ice, while pretending I'm wearing a bra).
Tonight: mail bliss. Five bottles from Wordup Ecig. I know I have to wait for some of these, and they were a longs hot (eggnog and pumpkin pie). but I'm ready to try the watermelon right off the bat.
Wow. WOW! Ahhhh, watermelon, and presence of some sort, throat or lungs or something. Wacko major head rush at 11mg. This is not jolly rancher watermelon. This is watermelon like you wished it would be, when someone handed you a slice in the summertime, and the watery, seedy mess disappointed. No, this is crazy watermelon.
No sweetness from weird artificial sweetners. The watermelon gets into your nose, kisses it, leaves with a polite goodbye. Mmmmmm. I don't know how they do this in a juice. If taste blindness were a thing, and you gave this to a suddenly tasting blind person, they would weep.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Now, I'm tempering my love of this juice with the realization that this will not taste good with coffee tomorrow morning. Look at my profile pic...I love coffee, so much that I decided to embed it permanently in my skin as a testament to its powers of enlightenment and creativity. Watermelon coffee does not work.
Tomorrow will find me returning to the Frankenstein mix that passes for okay so far. But if I can find this watermelon vape, but not watermelon, but a similar vaping for Blind Tastebuds for the morning...oh sweet vaping gods, I will have arrived.
Bonus question: who is the patron saint of vaping? Discuss.
For me, I found the perfect juice, but the juice didn't like me very much.
Damn you, Johnson Creek Apple Cider. I could have stockpiled you, horded dozens of little pretty glass bottles to get me through the long seasons (although I live in a place that has two seasons: winter, and the Fourth of July, but I digress). I introduced you to coworkers, and they rejoiced.
But like all first loves, you turned on me. My nose bled, my throat became the Sahara Desert, my lips cracked, my skin rashed. You made "rashed" a verb. You made my son's eyes water, and his eczema flare. I had to let you go, in hopes that better vapes, kinder vapes, gentler vapes would replace you.
First, all subsequent VG orders: WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS? This is not a luxury experience. This is not the release from the stigma and eventual death of analogs. This is air, with lots of pretty steam, and a tiny hint of flavor. This is...suck.
Does kinder, gentler vaping mean that I am holding a stick I must charge every 2 hours, fill with liquid every 2 hours, but receive no flavor, satisfaction, or pleasurable experience every 2 hours? It made me sad. It did not make me want a cigarette, though, which might be a minor miracle in itself. It made me whip out the credit card and order juice in a frenzy.
My previous, first blog explains my attempt to turn lemons into lemonade, or some facsimile thereof. It got me through today, gosh dagnib. Truth be told, it didn't taste as good when not drinking delicious wine, but hey...when they let me drink wine at work, who needs vaping?
(I am purposefully skipping a time in my life that occurred today titled: Cartomizers: Why do they exist, or what am I doing horribly wrong? Perhaps I will return to this. Meanwhile, I'm too busy drooling over custom box mods and dreaming of when I will order them. Also, you could title this: Co-workers: Leave me with my stupid condoms, dammit).
Tonight, the mailperson cometh. The mailperson has been comething ridiculously late of late, like USPS didn't get notified of DST, and they are pretending it's still light outside. It's not. It's dark and cold, and some genius decided that my very nice neighborhood with my very nice house should have a group mailbox, so I have to slip-slide my way to our communal gray stand, insert my key, and either walk away empty handed (someone is watching this walk of shame, I'm sure, I have nosy neighbors), or attempt to contain my stupid excitement of a soft small priority mail package (and not slip on ice, while pretending I'm wearing a bra).
Tonight: mail bliss. Five bottles from Wordup Ecig. I know I have to wait for some of these, and they were a longs hot (eggnog and pumpkin pie). but I'm ready to try the watermelon right off the bat.
Wow. WOW! Ahhhh, watermelon, and presence of some sort, throat or lungs or something. Wacko major head rush at 11mg. This is not jolly rancher watermelon. This is watermelon like you wished it would be, when someone handed you a slice in the summertime, and the watery, seedy mess disappointed. No, this is crazy watermelon.
No sweetness from weird artificial sweetners. The watermelon gets into your nose, kisses it, leaves with a polite goodbye. Mmmmmm. I don't know how they do this in a juice. If taste blindness were a thing, and you gave this to a suddenly tasting blind person, they would weep.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Now, I'm tempering my love of this juice with the realization that this will not taste good with coffee tomorrow morning. Look at my profile pic...I love coffee, so much that I decided to embed it permanently in my skin as a testament to its powers of enlightenment and creativity. Watermelon coffee does not work.
Tomorrow will find me returning to the Frankenstein mix that passes for okay so far. But if I can find this watermelon vape, but not watermelon, but a similar vaping for Blind Tastebuds for the morning...oh sweet vaping gods, I will have arrived.
Bonus question: who is the patron saint of vaping? Discuss.
