Spring Cleaning the former House of Smoke

ShoeQueen;3253446 said:

As the weather here in thawing frozen tundras of Wisconsin has finally begun to shape into something that might be "spring-like", I am about to take up the time honored celebration of greeting the Vernal Equinox by cleaning house.

Windows had been stripped of plastic and opened to surrender to the blossoming of the coming season, all but a scant 2 weeks ago, save but one. As the last window was stripped of it's cocoon this morning I noticed something I hadn't before... the plastic had undergone a metamorphosis from it's colorless sheen to all tainted taupe color.

I stared, in wide-eyed horror at the pure ickiness of it all as I realized what the color was from. My fiance and I didn't start vaping until February. This ickiness was the result of smoking inside the house... 9 months of smoking in our home. In abject horror I looked around our home and realized that freakin' EVERYTHING was going to need to be washed.

The curtains, the walls, every surface, every knickknack, even the freakin' ceiling... There is not one surface in the household that was not going to need to be stripped of tobacco film.

Sobered by this conclusion I marched to the kitchen and poured a healthy dose of Bailey's into my coffee. No one should have to face this much cleaning without a drink, and possibly a shot gun, in hand.

To all the former smokers that will be joining me in this seemingly impossible task of stripping the remnants of their former vice from their home, I raise my (now very boozy) morning coffee to you.

Let us strip the remnants of our former lives from our homes! Let us toil and be done with this horrendous task! Let us accomplish it quickly and be done with it once and for all!

And if this whole debacle disgusts and depresses you as much it did me, all I can say is...
"Let the Bailey's Flow!"

Click to expand...