Stood my ground

[TheEmperorOfIceCream]

I ain't doing it, Kit. They won't let my public e-smoke in the cinemas...

[Spider]

Haha good one Kit!

Nice work Emp! I love the stories, wish I'd been there.

This is the thing though, does it matter whether you have a realistic looking cigarette style e-cig or not when everyone assumes you're smoking a real cigarette anyway. After all, the barmaid was so certain it was a real cig she could even smell it.

People are gonna look at e-cigs and see tobacco cigarettes anyway unless we put flashing lights all of the bloody things!

Silly really.

[Kit]

I think your battles with the killjoys is brilliant storytelling emp very funny

[TropicalBob]

Wonderful story .. and art.

But can you imagine this chap telling his friends about the encounter at the (no smoking) pub. "The guy was like The Terminator, people, the kind of guy who put cigarettes out on his face! So here I was, without backup, trying to enforce this law ..."

[MacFan]

Originally Posted by TheEmperorOfIceCream

I had a good one at my local station yesterday. I was down at the end of the platform, a hundred yards away from anybody, out in the open air, puffing away as usual. For our broader readership, the ban in the UK is based on enclosed or part-enclosed spaces but the rail companies decided to extend the ban to their entire premises, including open platforms, bridges and car parks. This is contrary to the spirit of the law, but their by-laws allow it. Saves a few quid on the cleaning and generally spiffies up the environment.

Anyway, some nimrod called me out on the tannoy, just like Winston Smith when he was slacking on his PT in 1984.

"Will the customer on platform 3 please stop smoking IMMEDIATELY"

We get a lot of mindless drivel over the tannoy so I didn't get it the first time. I got the feedback howl on the repeat, though:

"customeronplatform3stopsmokingNOW!!"

So I clue in he's talkin' ta me, and go all Travis Bickle.

Well, okay, I didn't buy loads of guns, shave my head, kick in the control booth door and fill him full of lead, but I did start pointing at my chest, looking around and saying "well, there's nobody else here. Who the feck do you think you're talkin' to?"

All the while, of course, I'm still puffing away. Next minute, this guy appears in the distance, sprinting towards me. Well, waddling - he was carrying quite a load. We don't work these Network Southeast wallahs hard enough, if you ask me.

He eventually made it to where I was standing.

"Gaaaah - no- uuurrrrrrrggghhh - smoking - companypremises - whuurrrkk - £80 fine - hraawwwkkk."

I'd say that was a forty-a-day cough, right there. Thankfully it was a new battery and a fresh cart. So I took a big chug and blew a fat smoke ring at him. Being outside, it didn't hold together long, but long enough for my favourite line in these circumstances:

"I don't smoke, mate."

That took what little breath he was getting away. But he recovered enough to say:

"Put it out! Smoking is not allowed on railway property!"
He was getting a bit Basil Fawlty by this time and hopping from foot to foot. I think he was about ready to try and snatch it from me. Bad idea, given the cost of these things.

I didn't want to get into that so I took a puff and 'put it out' on my cheek. He went bug-eyed (I love doing that).

I was all ready for the rest of the argument (worked out what to do in this situation weeks ago) but unfortunately my train arrived at that point. Shame. Should have let it go and carried on with the row. I could see the guy weighing up whether to drag me off the train (I was still puffing away) but he came to the conclusion that it was someone else's problem from there on in.

I'm pretty sure the guy was a smoker. Pity he was also a small-minded jobsworth gagging to (attempt to) exercise his sliver of authority - I could've put him on to a good thing.

Emp

Emp, you should have put it out on HIS cheek

[luffy]

Originally Posted by TropicalBob

Wonderful story .. and art.

But can you imagine this chap telling his friends about the encounter at the (no smoking) pub. "The guy was like The Terminator, people, the kind of guy who put cigarettes out on his face! So here I was, without backup, trying to enforce this law ..."

I love this place...very funny TB

[Kit]

Originally Posted by luffy

I love this place...very funny TB

funniest thread of today thats for sure

[Evil Santa]

Fantastically Brilliant.

I keep using my e-cig in movie theaters, and while i do cover the red light to not distract other patrons.. I am waiting for the time when a person behind me taps me on the shoulder and says, "Hey Bud, No smoking in here."

Ah.. It shall be marvelous!

[Spider]

I think we all wait for those moments - Emp seems to get enough of them for everyone! But then he is very blatant about it

[Kit]

Originally Posted by Spider

I think we all wait for those moments - Emp seems to get enough of them for everyone! But then he is very blatant about it

Emp loves the attraction he like nothing better than to say to the offended kill joy i dont smoke and blow a big fat ring in there face, smoke ring that is lol