Talking with a smoker...

[Alain59]

Yes a really Great Post there Kitty ! And so True............

[Momof3]

I mostly get nothing but negativity from both sides. Why are we ex-smokers or smokers? I've never heard of an ex-alcoholic. The worst for me is "Just 2 weeks without and your addiction to cigarettes will be gone." Sorry, but after almost a year without, the 1st thing I wanted after my DS was born was a cigarette. Maybe someday I'll be a recovering smoker, but never an ex.

Stupidest IMO is "It's really easy to quit, just don't buy them." I got that once from someone I knew had lifelong weight issues. My response "Why don't you lose 50 pounds? It's really easy. Eat less, exercise more." She's more understanding now.

My only real supporters at this point are children. Mine, nieces and nephews and my kids friends whose parents smoke.

[LaceyUnderall]

I mostly get nothing but negativity from both sides. Why are we ex-smokers or smokers? I've never heard of an ex-alcoholic. The worst for me is "Just 2 weeks without and your addiction to cigarettes will be gone." Sorry, but after almost a year without, the 1st thing I wanted after my DS was born was a cigarette. Maybe someday I'll be a recovering smoker, but never an ex.

Stupidest IMO is "It's really easy to quit, just don't buy them." I got that once from someone I knew had lifelong weight issues. My response "Why don't you lose 50 pounds? It's really easy. Eat less, exercise more." She's more understanding now.

My only real supporters at this point are children. Mine, nieces and nephews and my kids friends whose parents smoke.

Agree with this completely.

And...

you have all of us... who go through the same fight everyday. Yes... my e-cig makes my non-tobacco use extremely bearable... but it isn't a cigarette. Today after a nice big lunch, I thought how nice just one tobacco cig would be. (Then I remember that last week I had one and had to lay on the floor from a personal summer and head rush.)

Once a smoker, always a smoker.

[Monie]

I mostly get nothing but negativity from both sides. Why are we ex-smokers or smokers? I've never heard of an ex-alcoholic. The worst for me is "Just 2 weeks without and your addiction to cigarettes will be gone." Sorry, but after almost a year without, the 1st thing I wanted after my DS was born was a cigarette. Maybe someday I'll be a recovering smoker, but never an ex.

Stupidest IMO is "It's really easy to quit, just don't buy them." I got that once from someone I knew had lifelong weight issues. My response "Why don't you lose 50 pounds? It's really easy. Eat less, exercise more." She's more understanding now.

My only real supporters at this point are children. Mine, nieces and nephews and my kids friends whose parents smoke.

Momof3, you have my support. My dad quit cold turkey in his early twenties. I'm 38. I've never smoked in front of my parents out of respect for them, but they know I smoked. I told my mom I'm trying to quit using an e-cig and explained it to her. She thought it was silly at first, but after about a week, when she asked for an update and I told her it was still working for me, she's really impressed and has even told some of her friends about it. She's never been a smoker. On the other hand, my dad has since pipped in, and honestly, I am sure he thinks he's being helpful, but his advice was telling me "I just told myself I was bigger than that cig". I just said ya, I know....but that's been the most insulting comment to me. I mean, if I really wanted to pick him appart and have the argument (which I would never do out of respect for my folks), I could..... I'm bigger than a bullet, but telling myself that isn't going to protect me from one, ya know?

Anyway, I just wanted to give you my support and to let you know I'm going through the same and can completely understand. Just let the insults go. That's what I'm going to try to do. No one is perfect, but the fact that you and I are actually taking action to try to make improvements to ourselves is better than most can say.

[Momof3]

Thanks so much for the support. I have no illusions about e-cigs being a magical stop smoking device. At least not for me. My goal at this point is stepping down to the 0 nic. I'm on the med now and while I think I honestly smoke more now when I'm vaping, it does keep the edge off. It is a daily struggle.

I have 2 family members I'd like for it to help. My penstyle is not going to do it for them, so I'm trying the pilot. We're surrounded with militant non-smokers. Despite having taken it outside years ago, we still get nothing but crap.

My GM is 80 yrs old. She started smoking at 17. When I think of her out in the cold only to come inside to not "Thank you for being so considerate.", but to nasty "You stink. You just need to quit. Don't you know you're killing yourself." I just want to smack someone. KWIM

I think she's starting to have some hope that I'll find something right for her too, but she's afraid to get her hopes up too high. Despite the negativity, I'm still working on the rest of the family for at least some tolerance and understanding. I've been pointing out that the only thing they've ever accomplished with the shaming or fear tactics is us hiding it from them. Which then made time together shorter, more strained and less frequent.

My kids and I have talked about addictions. Hard not to when they come home from school bawling that Mom does drugs and is going to die. DS said "So it's kind of like me and the Playstation?" LOL I said "Yeah, but even worse." It never ceases to amaze me how much more understanding kids are than most adults.

[surbitonPete]

Momof3: quote: ( My GM is 80 yrs old. She started smoking at 17. When I think of her out in the cold only to come inside to not "Thank you for being so considerate.", but to nasty "You stink. You just need to quit. Don't you know you're killing yourself." I just want to smack someone. KWIM)

Oh how I understand how you feel....I hardly ever talk with my sister any more because she is a psychotic anti-smoker.....we cannot possibly have 'any' conversation without her bringing it up and saying something about stink or health. She never ever stopped nagging our mum about smoking and yet she lived well into her 80 and died of something that had nothing to do with smoking.

[Momof3]

Oh how I understand how you feel....I hardly ever talk with my sister any more because she is a psychotic anti-smoker.....we cannot possibly have 'any' conversation without her bringing it up and saying something about stink or health.

Got one of those too. She gives cancer patients their radiation treatments, so I understand where she's coming from, I just wish it went both ways. Until our trip, she thought I quit about 3yrs ago. Nope, just avoided her and hid it. I wish she would get off her soapbox and at least listen about the e-cigs. She gripes about her patients that are still smoking. I think many of them would consider e-cigs the greatest things since sliced bread.

[OutWest]

Stupidest IMO is "It's really easy to quit, just don't buy them." I got that once from someone I knew had lifelong weight issues. My response "Why don't you lose 50 pounds? It's really easy. Eat less, exercise more." She's more understanding now.

I hear ya on all your points. I had a coworker give me the "why dont you just quit?" lecture one day and I said a very similar thing to her about "why dont you just lose weight?". Needless to say, she shut up about the smoking thing.

regarding your GM - when they give her crap when she comes back in from a smoke, she ought to just one day tell 'em to go ....... themselves. That'd prolly not only stun 'em to hear that sort of thing from GM, but also might make 'em shut up *heh*

[Momof3]

I've told her to do that many times, especially when she was just hiding her smoking. Minus the ....... though. Don't think I could even use that word in front of her. LOL

When she was hiding it she reminded me of my teen years. Sad, but funny at times too. "Quick, quick, cover for me." I kept telling her "Your their mom, not the other way around!"

[jamie]

She gives cancer patients their radiation treatments...She gripes about her patients that are still smoking.

I wish folks like that would just get out of cancer treatment all together. My eyes were opened to this issue when I spent some time reading a forum for cancer patients/family. Many of the never-smokers finally felt the anti-culture hostility coming their way with the assumptions by medical personnel that they were smokers and most by far fully recoiled and found it unbearably cruel. Also very sad were tales of folks, both smokers and non, who were near death and still being browbeaten or given smoking cessation materials, even printed on their cancer treatment and medication handouts "courtesy" of ACS. Some very sad stories there and lots of patient and family resentments towards medical staff about their judgemental attitudes; whether they think it shows or not it clearly does.