NEW!! Weekly GotVapes Ultimate Contest Prize Giveaway & Chit Chat Hangout Thread, Come and Have Fun!! - Page 7331
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Thread: NEW!! Weekly GotVapes Ultimate Contest Prize Giveaway & Chit Chat Hangout Thread, Come and Have Fun!!

  1. #73301
    ECF Guru ECF Veteran whodat2112's Avatar
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    "I'm not addicted to drinking brake fluid! I can stop anytime!"

    "I used to be addicted to lunch meat. I quit cold turkey."
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    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
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    ECF Guru ECF Veteran whodat2112's Avatar
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    What's the one legged girls favorite restaurant? Ihop.
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    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
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  3. #73303
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    Quote Originally Posted by whodat2112 View Post
    A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?" The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
    Already done! LOL! Good one though!
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    Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
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  5. #73305
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    A female golfer had just sunk her first putt and is headed to the second tee when she is stung by a bee. She is taken to the Dr. and he says, "where did it sting you?"

    "Between the first and second hole" she replied.

    "Well" said the Dr. "your stance is too wide."
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    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
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  6. #73306
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    Two cannibals are eating a clown, one looks over to the other and says:

    "Does this taste funny to you?"
    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
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  7. #73307
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    What did one hat say to the other hat?

    You stay here, I'll go on a head.

    Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk
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    A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.

    The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."

    "Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

    Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."

    The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

    The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."

    The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What??! They gave me a Chihuahua??!"
    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
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    A duck walked into a drugstore and asked for a tube of ChapStick.
    The cashier said, "That'll be $1.49"
    and the duck said "Put it on my bill".
    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
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    Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
    Both are dragging their right foot as the walk.
    As they meet, one man looks at the other, knowingly points at his foot and says,
    "Vietnam, 1969."
    The other hooks his thumb behind him says,
    "Dog poop, 20 feet back."
    -When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of tequila and some salt.-
    http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/5599/8452075682a0cd4040ea.jpg

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