Severe anxiety, panic, and rage

[Ghalenlee]

Thank you Frankie. Regardless of where we're from I think it's a complicated and personal decision about when and if one seeks medical advice about something that is mental health related.

The rage stage is rare for me. Usually the anxiety/depression rear their ugly head as just meanness, tiredness, and a lack of motivation to do anything. Sometimes, less commonly, depending on what's going on in my life, I get the physical anxiety signs, things like sweating, heart racing, hyperventilating, hypervigilence, extreme irrational fear, etc.

Some would say that if I'm not in therapy or on meds than I am not dealing with these issues at all. But I have lived with these feelings for so very long that I have become very good at hiding it from most people and only letting it show at home. Not healthy, but allows me to function in a semi-normal way.

When I'm out of the house or at work, I count... doesn't have to be anything in specific, I just count in my head. It keeps me grounded. That's why the therapist and shrink said I have OCD features.

When I return to smoking (not just nicotine in general) I feel better. It does not help with the depression but it does help with the anxiety. I tried St. John's Wort a long time ago and it didn't do much for me in the anxiety department. Other than the BP meds and smoking, those are the only things I've used to "treat" my anxiety.

[martha1014]

The only MAOIs I have been on are the ones that are naturally occurring in tobacco.

When I was on a combo of an SSRI, anti-psychotic, and an anti-anxiety (as needed) I noticed that my need for smoking cigarettes was dramatically reduced. I still had the physical hand to mouth need but not so much for the tobacco smoking. When I lost my insurance and ran out of meds I noticed a dramatic increase in my smoking habits.

This leads me to the belief that there is something in cigarettes that is not in the e-liquid. And that is the something that has been keeping my anxiety symptoms at a somewhat manageable level for the last 20 some odd years without medications. I am assuming that it is the naturally occurring MAOIs that I am missing when I'm vaping rather than smoking.

Don't worry, if I get to the point where I'm seriously considering hurting myself or someone else and the klonopin doesn't help it, I will get to the ER.

How have you been keeping your anxiety symptoms manageable for the last 20 years without medications when 2 years you were on long term disability taking SSRI and anti-anxiety medications. Since then you quit your medications because you could not afford them. If you were on long term disability why did it run out. I am also on long term disability from my employer plus receiving Social Security Disability. I have been on it since 1998. They re-evalute me every couple of years and it has been approved.

If you get where you can't work and start taking medications and seeing a psychiatrist and have medical records and physician's statements you should be approved by Social Security.

[Flip7990]

As one of the apparent many on this forum that also suffer from anxiety/panic attacks, I wish you the best in feeling better. I am on a cocktail of celexa and xanax, very high dosages, and did not notice much of a difference when I quit analogs back in April. Hopefully you can get on some assistance and get the medication to help you. I would think that this would qualify for social security disability.

[Ghalenlee]

How have you been keeping your anxiety symptoms manageable for the last 20 years without medications when 2 years you were on long term disability taking SSRI and anti-anxiety medications. Since then you quit your medications because you could not afford them. If you were on long term disability why did it run out. I am also on long term disability from my employer plus receiving Social Security Disability. I have been on it since 1998. They re-evalute me every couple of years and it has been approved.

If you get where you can't work and start taking medications and seeing a psychiatrist and have medical records and physician's statements you should be approved by Social Security.

Mostly by just dealing with it myself and smoking cigarettes.

2006/2007 were bad years for me, I had a lot of things happen that just pushed me right over the edge. I took a medical leave from work and started seeing mental health professionals.

The long-term disability at the company that I worked for only lasted a year, they figure that's long enough for you to get on SSI if you're truly disabled. Even though the state shrink said I was agoraphobic, I should be able to work, as I did so for most of my adult life with no problem. After being turned down twice I gave up.

I am working again (at a different company / and different work) and have been "functioning" on the outside. It's only since I quit smoking cigarettes that things are getting more difficult for me to handle on my own.

[Frankie]

I might be on a very low range because an average dose of 10 mg of Diazepam usually heals my anxiety. For some reason I only suffer the attacks in the evening, so I sort of sleep them out because Valium makes me extremely sleepy.

I had a strange experience with DL-PA. I used it when depressed and could not work any more (self employed, nobody else but me "at work"). I was also very hungry at that time, which seems to be important. The funny, cheap, unregulated and allegedly placebo-ish stuff made me... frantically happy? I literally laughed at the book I was translating. Nothing like than happened to me in extremely long time. Unfortunately, I seem to build up tolerance quickly and now this happy pill does not work that clearly for me.

Mostly by just dealing with it myself and smoking cigarettes.

Could you elaborate a bit, please? I mean not the smoking bit but ways of dealing with the problems might be inspiring for others... like me.

[a2dcovert]

Please, could you limit the talk to relevant points? I for one am in a post-Commie country with a socialist free healthcare which means I cannot get any pro help besides the advice to take more excercise, work less, sleep more, spend more time in the sun and use Diazepam (Valium) when it´s bad. Or get sent to a nuthouse with all the implications and personal/professional problems it carries... I would really like to see how people deal with the issues of anxiety and depression (I got over the rage stage somehow).

QUESTION: When you return to nicotine, does the anxiety etc. go away? I tried once with snuff tobacco, did not help at all. Anybody tried DL-PA? Kava extracts? St John´s Wort? It might be intreresting to see what helps, especially if it can be bought in free market.

On the other hand, I *think* the problems are decreasing very slowly, month by month.

Sorry guys, you are right Frankie. Guess mypost smoking temper is raring it's ugly head.

My issues are not getting any better. I walk a thin line between too much nicotine and too little. I think that there many of us are having some similar issues here. My problem is finding a doctor who understands the issue. This is something new to most of them.

Kevin

[martha1014]

Just a warning. Xanax and Valium are very habit forming. My daughter took Xanx for a few months. She quit cold turkey and suffered a seizure brought on by withdrawal. So be very careful. Don't just quit, taper down off of this stuff.

[Flip7990]

Just a warning. Xanax and Valium are very habit forming. My daughter took Xanx for a few months. She quit cold turkey and suffered a seizure brought on by withdrawal. So be very careful. Don't just quit, taper down off of this stuff.

Any doc who knows about these meds should advise for a gradual decress. There are worse side effects from quitting these types of medications than quitting smoking cold turkey.

Sorry to hear about your daughter, hope she is doing good now.

[Ghalenlee]

I might be on a very low range because an average dose of 10 mg of Diazepam usually heals my anxiety. For some reason I only suffer the attacks in the evening, so I sort of sleep them out because Valium makes me extremely sleepy.

I had a strange experience with DL-PA. I used it when depressed and could not work any more (self employed, nobody else but me "at work"). I was also very hungry at that time, which seems to be important. The funny, cheap, unregulated and allegedly placebo-ish stuff made me... frantically happy? I literally laughed at the book I was translating. Nothing like than happened to me in extremely long time. Unfortunately, I seem to build up tolerance quickly and now this happy pill does not work that clearly for me.

Could you elaborate a bit, please? I mean not the smoking bit but ways of dealing with the problems might be inspiring for others... like me.

Honestly and bluntly, other than cigarettes, sex is the best self-medicator for the depression and anxiety. Years later, I understand why I was the way I was in high school.

Music tames the beast sometimes, other times it just makes it worse. Two songs I get stuck on that help me a lot through anxiety are Voodoo by Godsmack and Narayan by Prodigy (Fat of the Land album).

I read a lot... mostly Romances.. some horror and true crime thrown in. I can get lost in a book and that blocks everything else out while the story unfolds. Except for when the story ends, then I feel depressed, so I tend to read serial romances.

Video games that are immersive. Not MMORPGs, I don't play well with others and I fear even if I could get over that, that I would become to immersed and not do anything else. So I play games like Oblivion and Morrowind and Fallout 3. Games that are huge and have a lot to do and can be largely player modded so the game never ends. I don't think I've "finished" any of those games yet.

And I count... usually in sets of 3.. 1 2 3 pause 4 5 6 pause 7 8 9.. etc. Keeps me calm and helps me focus.

There's other things, but this is getting long.

The other major thing I do is avoid the things that trigger anxiety. Malls, doctors, beaches, very crowded places, confrontation with people I see as authority figures, etc.

[cassavetes]

Sorry for the double post.

Cass: You need to be careful with the anti-anxiety meds and alch. You might need a combination of drugs for your "ruminating". Anti-anxiety meds would only help with the reaction to those thoughts not the thoughts themselves. Make sense? Go back to your doc and there's a combo out there that works. May take a bit to find but it can be done.

Good luck to you as well.

I've pretty much cut all alcohol use with the exception of the occasional beer here and there. The drinking would often help the obsessions, but increase my anxiety. I get blood work done every 2 months or so just to keep tabs on my liver and such. I'm steadily weening myself of the meds with the help of my physician, as I don't want to be tethered to any medication for the rest of my life. All in all my symptoms have gotten dramatically better.

Thanks for the info and kind words, Piedlourde.