We need some laugh in here, joke of the day

[rocketvapor]

Originally Posted by liscab

Some body explain this one, please

Ummm.....tender, as in "steaks"....get it?

[bladeangel87]

termites like wood, I would guess tenderness would be a concern. Not talking about the bartender but the tenderness of the bar, now that I've explained it its not funny anymore

[liscab]

Originally Posted by rocketvapor

Ummm.....tender, as in "steaks"....get it?

Thanks

Originally Posted by bladeangel87

termites like wood, I would guess tenderness would be a concern. Not talking about the bartender but the tenderness of the bar, now that I've explained it its not funny anymore

Now it is some kind of funny to me, perhaps in a spoken english it would be easier to me to catch, like bar tender not bartender,but now I am laughing ear to ear

[Shatosa]

Liscab, sorry I didn't see your post to respond and explain my joke sooner. Glad you liked it.

[Drunkwaco]

so Mike and John redcorn are chatting it up at the water fountian. When mike asks "Hey i'm having a hardtime pleasing my wife, And she seems so decent now. Hey your a ladies man how do you do it?"
John replys " well right before you get in bed with a women you take your junk in hand and you slam it on the dresser as hard as you can. This makes it numb and you can go for hours on end."
So that night Mike sneaks home a little early and quitly goes to his bed room and while his wife is still reading a book in bed he takes his junk and slams it on the table as hard as he can. His wife then calls out due to the noise " John redcorn is that you???"

[Ashhead]

Is the "wood' tender like a steak

[Drunkwaco]

3 Men stuck at a rushing river
The first man prays to god " please give me the strength to cross this river." puff his arms and legs become huge and and jumps in the river and barely makes it to the other side but almost drowned twice to get there.
The second man seeing this prays to god " Please give me the Strength and the equipment to cross this river" Puff big arms and legs and a boat and he makes it across the river but the boat almost cap sized.
The thrid man seeing this prays to god " Please give me the Strength and the wisdom to cross this river." Puff he turns in to a women and realizes there is a bridge 2 miles north.

[Drunkwaco]

Originally Posted by Ashhead

Is the "wood' tender like a steak

HAHAHAHA damn sometimes you see something like this and you realize how immature you still are. lol i swear i'm still like 12

[Rhetoric Camel]

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I've a-tried to treat-a her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The Priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, 'I'm agonna go get her.'

[Rhetoric Camel]

Figured telling a joke about a lab would be a good reason to post a picture of my dog.


A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes around back and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable assets for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport doing undercover security. I'd wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm retired..'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ****.