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Thread: The Joke Tread!

  1. #41
    Krazee Kat Laydee/Guru X2 Team ECF (folding@home)
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    I've got a good one for you...


    Mom and Pop Vapor Shop > The Joke Tread!




    Are we supposed to be walking all over the Jokes here???


  2. #42
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    An elderly couple were sitting in their rocking chairs on the back porch one day when the old lady reached over and knocked the old man out of his chair.

    The old man got up, sat back down in his chair and said, “What was that for?”

    The old lady said, “That was for 50 years of bad sex.”

    A couple minutes later the old man reached over and knocked the old lady out of her chair.

    She got up and said, “What was that for?”

    The old man said, “That’s for knowing the difference."
    spacekitty and RaceGun59 like this.

  3. #43
    Krazee Kat Laydee/Guru X2 Team ECF (folding@home)
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    A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'

    The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

    The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

    About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,

    'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

    The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!' wub.gif

  4. #44
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    A woman made her husband a sandwich and asked him how he liked it.
    He said not enough bread.
    The next day she added 2 more slices of bread and asked him how he liked it.
    He said not enough bread.
    The next day she added 2 more slices of bread (6 slices) and asked him how he liked it.
    He said not enough bread.
    The next day she took a loaf of bread and cut it in half and asked him how he liked it.
    He said now we are back to 2 slices.

    Life is short, bend the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, live passionately and never forget anything that made you smile.

  5. #45
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    Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here''

  6. #46
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  7. #47
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    leerm8680 likes this.

  8. #48
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  9. #49
    Krazee Kat Laydee/Guru X2 Team ECF (folding@home)
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    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."

    He sighed........
    .

    .

    .

    .

    .


    "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."

  10. #50
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    Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
    Last edited by jj2; 04-10-2014 at 11:01 PM.



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