The PIF USA rules and why you should read them - Page 2
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Thread: The PIF USA rules and why you should read them

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by leannebug View Post
    I am oft times PMed by multiple members asking for other items. Sometimes I offer one item, but I am then asked for something else. I have had people buy themselves something, then come to me to 'gift' items for their family members. Or- they may be out of something, and they ask me to supply it. I have given full packages (because someone needed it ATM) and then seen it put up for sale the next week.
    Herein lies the problem. I have no doubt you are a generous person leanne, but when this "behind the scenes" stuff happens without being reported abuses will occur. When a member PM's you, how do you know they aren't PM'ing 4 other generous members at the same time?

    This is why for PIF to continue to flourish, PIF's, wants, trades, etc must be done out in the open and not via PM. I hear that people are "too embarrassed" to ask out in the open. Well, I say that they have to get past that issue and follow the rules. I do not see anyone judging someone who has a genuine need. It needs to be in the open. When anyone decides to help "behind the scenes" they are enabling the problem to continue.

    I'm not picking on you specifically leanne, I appreciate the fact you are honest about it, but it really needs to stop if the abuse is to be curbed.........
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  2. #12
    Resting In Peace ECF Veteran librarising's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leannebug View Post
    I've been a little busy with home life, so I haven't seen the latest... but I have seen this situation time and again. I have even taken a break for some of these same reasons. Thank goodness for the PIF mods that do work hard to keep these things to a minimum these days. I've also not followed the rules myself, and tend to give privately to preserve both my own reputation (so that *I* am not repeatedly PMed) and save the face of someone needing something (it's HARD for us to take a 'handout' sometimes!)

    If you are taking advantage of PIF... here are a few examples of WHY and HOW this ends up being a problem (from an older member). I have a nice stock. This is true. First of all.. I save everything I have gone from paying for 3 packs of cigarettes a day (for 2 people) to purchasing for one vaper (myself).. so my budget was a bit bigger. I do alot of DIY, so I can save money that way. I was also raised to share. If I have 3 atties and JoJo needs 1.. I see that as: 1 for me, 1 for Jo, and an extra. If I have it, and someone else needs it.. it's a no-brainer.

    Now what's unusual about that? Around here.. not much, it's very common place If I am frugal, and watch for deals, I can pick up sets, or discounts, and pass these things along. Personally, I need to do this. I'm a single mom, disabled (so I do not have a salary income), I live on a fixed income, and pay for the things I need. I am blessed enough to come from a family that lives and behaves as I do, we help each other. I feel VERY lucky... and I pass these things along to others that may need something, because whatever it is.. if it's not being used at the moment. In my mind, it's an extra.

    I am often asked for things. If I make a PIF, or a comment offering to help, I am oft times PMed by multiple members asking for other items. Sometimes I offer one item, but I am then asked for something else. I have had people buy themselves something, then come to me to 'gift' items for their family members. Or- they may be out of something, and they ask me to supply it. I have given full packages (because someone needed it ATM) and then seen it put up for sale the next week. All these things are hard for me to swallow. I try to give without strings, I do not ask for something in return, (I'd rather see that these gifts get paid forward), and more importantly: not everyone that falls into these categories take advantage... they may end up big contributors of the community too. This is how it's supposed to work!!.. and it motivates me to return if I feel jaded about PIF!

    I guess my point is this; people are often treated like stores around here.. in more ways than one. They will always be taken advantage of, and chased off. Luckily we have many many great mods and rules and 'community watchdogs' that watch out for those like me. I probably wouldn't BE here if not for those safety nets. I have never ever been one to like rules. (usually the rule breaker!) And I have to bite my tongue sometimes when Miss Bee pulls out her whip... but I will be the first to step up and say "Thank You" for all the hard work, for if it weren't for the rules, this place would have crumbled long ago.

    Now.. off to see what the ruckus is about!
    Leanne, beautifully said, earth angel you! Hugs and love.

    In the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed - K Gilbran

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elendil View Post
    Herein lies the problem. I have no doubt you are a generous person leanne, but when this "behind the scenes" stuff happens without being reported abuses will occur. When a member PM's you, how do you know they aren't PM'ing 4 other generous members at the same time?


    I'm not picking on you specifically leanne, I appreciate the fact you are honest about it, but it really needs to stop if the abuse is to be curbed.........
    It's OK.. no offense taken.

    I know it's a problem, and I SEE why the rules were created, and I know that I inadvertantly contributed to some of our rules, by my own behavior and actions. *sigh*

    Personally, I have tried to be more open about my giving, I've tried to post, or make notes. I don't like it.. and I cringe when I see flippant comments about "PIF members that like to be in the spotlight" or whatever.. (although not true, are still hurtful), and I try and be more vigilant, or careful in what/how/to whom I give. I've also bitten my tongue and said "no" occasionally.. hard to do, but sometimes necessary. But even with all these things.. old habits die hard. I'm not sure we will EVER get it all out in the open.

    There are too many people that are modest, and prefer to give in private.. and some of the most needy are the ones that don't say anything. Sad, but true. And although I see all the reasons why we need it, and I try hard to do it, maybe the current system needs tweaking?

    What if there was a database? I'm not a computer guru.. but surely a simple program could be modified to keep track of some of these things? Perhaps you might have more success getting someone to report privately, than to all. It wouldn't have to replace this.. just include the private folks?.. so that you can keep a closer eye on us 'rule breakers'

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    LBug you are one of the best parts of PIF and we all love and appreciate everything you do.We just want to keep you safe.
    (((((((((((BIG HUGS!!)))))))))))))
    Its nice to be important,but its more important to be nice.

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    "Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and publicity."

    Just sayin'. :P

    Last TC take 9.3.11
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    "Sunlight is the best disinfectant"
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    I havent agreed with with the way the need thread runs now, but one of the side effects of the change was ability to ask a mod to post a need FOR you and save face per say, so it does holds its benefits. There are avenues to remain anonymous and stay within guidlines now. But the shadows of the pm's were brought up often in the past, and looks like they are no where near a concern as they once were, but it wasnt by accident. We can throw the mods an "atta boy", becuase the place in general is running a little smoother, and not so much bickering as days of old. But vets still need to set the example, and have to abide by those rules themselves to do so.
    Last edited by The Big Chief; 03-02-2011 at 03:01 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elendil View Post
    "Sunlight is the best disinfectant"
    ----Louis Brandeis
    I will raise you:

    Where secrecy or mystery begins, vice or roguery is not far off.
    Samuel Johnson

    Last TC take 9.3.11
    Bianca is what Peeps would be if they were sentient. Just gooey luscious love and sugar. -Magnus

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    ECF Guru ECF Veteran keyzygirl's Avatar
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    The needs have been cut down some and there have been some needs needed but luckily the mods have had the batts or attys and cartos or juice to donate to some of the needs.Does that make sense?We do make sure the people get thier needs fullfilled and dont allow for things to be taken advantage of like it had been.It seems to be working much better and people are not being taken advantage of as much as before.If anyone has a problem with being asked for things in PM or feels that someone has taken advantage of them or sees something they think we missed,PLEASE just PM one of us and we will be happy to help you so that things keep running smoothly.We want to know whats going on so we can make it right so that everyone is happy.
    Its nice to be important,but its more important to be nice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BiancaMontgomery View Post
    I will raise you:

    Where secrecy or mystery begins, vice or roguery is not far off.
    Samuel Johnson
    The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.
    ~Thomas Babington Macaulay


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