Greetings to Our Newest Members!
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    Default Greetings to Our Newest Members!



    With so many joining us, this thread is offered as a place of welcome
    and so you may all post of the joy that has entered your life.

    Although we hope you are familiar with the Ritual of Arrival, here is the most recent update.

    Sacred Text of Manual

    The Ritual of Arrival

    Chapter One
    Verse one

    All Hail Novitiate! By ordering you have made a life changing commitment.

    Be comforted in the knowledge that soon all doubts of your decision shall be alleviated and your spirit overcome with joy! All of your questions will be answered, all of your hopes realized, and as you have dreamed...

    You will GET IT!



    Verse two

    Be aware!

    No matter when your mail is usually delivered, and probably has been delivered for years, the carrier with your ProVari will come at a different hour. This suckth big time, since one must sign for the package.

    Verse three

    You may wish to start your vigil immediately. Now is the time of fasting and waiting. You shall not sleep; you shall not eat, as it might maketh you sleepy; you must at all times have a clear view of the Mail of Vape receptacle, least the postal carriage slip by unnoticed. Chasing said carriage and screaming unintelligibly in pseudo-EngLatin is acceptable. Weeping is allowed, but only after the Sacred ProVari is in your hands and the tears are of gratitude. Bursting into tears because the tracking number hasn't updated in 3 hours is considered impudent.

    This is also the time to charge batteries.

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    Verse four

    Be advised

    The Holiest of Holies does not come in a fancy box, it is simply swaddled in bubble wrap. It is the way of the ProVarinati to be reminded of our humble beginnings and not to take for granted the amazing gift that is bestowed upon the worthy.

    Verse five

    You shall find our Blessed One to be smaller than you imagined and yet miraculously heavier. You shall be filled with awe that such power could be contained in a simple casing. And the threading, as attested to, is truly like buttah.



    Verse six

    You must place the Sacred ProVari on an altar and gently pass a silver* thurible filled with myrrh over it for 7 consecutive nights just past sunset. Then, and only then, you may kneel before a candle and read your Rewards Loyalty Program card (yes, we are rewarded for our loyalty!) upside down and the Secret Name of-which-we-do-not-speak shall be revealed.


    The complete text is available here: The Sacred Text of Manual



    The ProVarinati Awaits You


    *If you don't have silver, aluminum is allowed. The ProVari is forgiving, but you may wish to check eBay, since there are often thuribles available with free shipping.

    Last edited by Dusty_D; 12-17-2013 at 10:15 AM.
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    ProVari/Rüzgar ~ Reo/RM2 ~ bOd Mecha/KFL+ ~ Gus Kiss Qorax Edition/iTaste VF

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ocelot View Post
    Wow...is all I have to say princess...wow

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    The brave and courageous Praetor is the scribe of many reverent texts.

    He saith unto us:

    Ahem...

    It is the Psalm ProVarinati



    Another is his very important instruction on the care and maintenance of our Blessed One: The Ritual of Cleansing and Anointing
    ProVarinati Princess ~ Infanta del Phidiae-Reo ~ Baroness Boboni of Sigeleiland
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    ProVari/Rüzgar ~ Reo/RM2 ~ bOd Mecha/KFL+ ~ Gus Kiss Qorax Edition/iTaste VF

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    Since there is a good chance many of you will already have a ProVari in your hands before I wake up, I want to take this opportunity to greet all of you.


    .
    .



    .....
    Last edited by The Ocelot; 12-10-2013 at 10:10 AM. Reason: update
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    OMgosh I made it on to the poster

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    Quote Originally Posted by Splatnext View Post
    OMgosh I made it on to the poster
    Greetings and welcome to the cult. Have some bacon.

    Edit: Didn't realize we we having pictures taken. So just this once, I'll take it off.
    Last edited by PLANofMAN; 12-09-2013 at 11:15 AM.


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    Quote Originally Posted by PLANofMAN View Post
    Greetings and welcome to the cult. Have some bacon.

    Edit: Didn't realize we we having pictures taken. So just this once, I'll take it off.
    I beat you! I meant to post a different updated image. You have to really zoom in though.
    PLANofMAN and JJOOHHNN like this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ocelot View Post

    Is that...Ozwald's shoe?

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    Quote Originally Posted by baghandler View Post
    Is that...Ozwald's shoe?
    A Teva is not a shoe. It's a lifestyle.

    & aww, I didn't even see it. I feel.. so.. *sniff* special.

    Edit: The part that I find absolutely hilarious about all the Teva jokes is the fact that I've never even owned a pair of Teva's in my life. The heeled Teva's are priceless though.
    Last edited by Ozwald; 12-09-2013 at 04:13 PM.

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