Are you really able to read over the last dozen or so pages and not see people expressing concern, saying they care about you, one right after the other?
I doubt you'll ever "get over it." Most of us have things we'll never get over, wrongs that were done us, that no matter what Oprah says, always will, in a way, define us, because of all the consequent and subsequent events.
Too often, I see people who, like me, have lived long and very varied lives, claim that the wrongs done to THEM are so much worse than those done to others present, people who, through no fault of their own, have spent their whole lives among one culture, in one geographic region, maybe even speaking one language, and I'm sorry to say that my fellow old people are sometimes not very kind to these younger folks, and even belittle them because they have not known this hardship, witnessed - or experienced - that atrocity.
They'll imply, but more often state directly, that whatever wrong was done to that younger person is inherently a lesser thing, as if there were some International Table of the Hierarchy of Wrongs, and therefore should not be complained about, because no one who has not known (insert preferred hardship and/or atrocity here) has any business complaining about anything,.
They are saying "get over it we don't want to hear about it or really care."
I'm sorry that it happens, to tell the truth, sometimes it makes me feel ashamed for my fellow old person, and I think "how can they fail to empathize with this poor creature? Has their suffering not made them more sensitive to the pain of others?"
Well, then I laugh at myself, because that's my heart saying that.
My head knows that while we all - well, most of us, like to think of ourselves as at least reasonably capable of empathy, or at least compassion, but the ability to actually put ourselves in someone else's shoes, and really see the world through their eyes - understand their reality - is fairly rare, and most of the people who are really good at it are too busy writing screenplays to tell us what it's like or how we can get it.
I make a distinction between "getting over" a wrong that was done, and claiming back the part of us the wrong took from us.
When we let the entity that wronged us, or the wrong itself, keep the part of us that was taken, guess what happens? That greedy wrong will keep on taking more and more of us, and the more of us it gets, the less is left for ourselves, the less is left of ourselves.
So in a way, I'm saying the opposite of "get over it. I'm telling you to claim back what it took from you, and stop giving it another little piece and another little piece.
You've told us you're a couple of weeks away from seeing a doctor, and asking if there is any legitimate medical reason that you can't use a zero nicotine e-cigarette.
Do you realize that whether he says yes or no, that will effectively drop a huge anvil on the head of the wrong that was done you?
If he says you can, then you get yourself an e-cigarette and puff 0-nicotine banana pie or orange creamsicle, or whatever you want.
That won't undo the suffering you endured, but it will end the suffering you're going through now.
If he says that for some reason specific to your condition, inhaling flavored water vapor would hurt you, then that would have been the case 2 years ago as well, so the wrong that was done you becomes a wrong in theory only.
It's still a wrong - the doctor should have told you that e-cigarettes existed - but for some reason specific to your condition, inhaling flavored water vapor would hurt you.
But the suffering you endured will not have been unnecessary suffering that occurred because of that wrong. That will give you, to use the popular modern term, "closure."
You might still feel envy, and resentment, but it will undergo a material change, and a change of cause - you'll feel those things because of your medical condition, in the same way I feel envy and resentment because I can't join friends for a drive up to the lake, attend the dance recital of a young family member, or because I won't get to take her shopping for her wedding dress, I won't see, at least in the only way I can comprehend now, the face of the boy she chooses or my pearls around her neck the day she marries him, or her baby bump, or the baby, or because I can't go shopping at the mall now, or even eat a box of chocolate eclairs. Ever.
Now clearly, if we start treating our medical conditions, especially ones that that aren't even the result of deliberately inflicted harm, as wrongs that were done us, and giving all of ourselves piece by piece, over to them, we are going to be in really sad shape real soon!
It's a cliche, but no matter how many years we live, life is too short.
We can spend that short time letting our misfortunes siphon us like gas out of a car tank, sip by sip, until there's nothing left, or we can spend it appreciating the absurdity of our planet and its residents, engaging in conscious and deliberate fun-seeking behavior, and enjoying the hell out of every minute of the good days, and hoping that those Days We Hope Will Be Better Tomorrow will, well, be better tomorrow.
Go do something nice for yourself today. Have some fun on purpose!
Thanks very much guys for helping me out. Many of you came right over and posted your opinions and I appreciate the help.
I'm trying to think of a way to make it easier for you guys to see these posts so you can comment perhaps making it easier for the poster to see your response while they still may be online instead of me finding them later.
On the 99% chance he does this ask him how in the world could food grade flavorings and kosher pg harm you"?
PG. It is in the inhalers you use everyday and in just about everything you eat, ask him if he's read the long term studies done on inhaling pg and it's utter safety.
Should he still not ok it for you I suggest you find a more enlightened doctor, buy yourself an eGo and vape some 0 nic in chocolate rasberry truffle and tell everyone who doesn't like it to kiss your ass.
You have to do what feels best for you!
Forget everyone in any forum do what works for Beth!
also forget that passive aggressive bs it ain't working for you or us!
I've always thought of her as the God Warrior, but I think I might like your name better.
It's darn cold here today, the heating is barely warming the house. Brrr.
I know you guys are having a heat wave, it's even made the news here, I almost envy you.
I need a hot breakfast, like porridge or something.
I can't always tell if she's wording things the way she does out of the zeal and fervor of her beliefs, or as a result of having taken copious notes at a workshop.