TT's Tall Tales - Page 3
Page 3 of 8 FirstFirst 1234567 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 78
Like Tree140Likes

Thread: TT's Tall Tales

  1. #21
    Double Guru Verified Member
    ECF Veteran
    Supporting Member
    salemgold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    26,497

    Default

    You guys sure do spend a lot of time cleaning your monitors. Guess I need to spit a drink on mine one of these times and clean it up. Danged chickens.

    Anyhow, yeah, my wifes mother and my wifes sister was on Jerry Springer that time because they were both married to the same nephew/cousin at the same time. I thought they would get famous over that but they never did. But they had a big fight on Jerry Springer. I got to watch it on the color television set at the Coffee Shop.

    One time my mother-in-law vanished, just disappeared from home. Just like that.'

    A friend in town asked me 'Have you given her description to the police?'

    And I told him 'No, they'd never believe me.'
    vaporgalinfla and chimney55 like this.

  2. #22
    Double Guru Verified Member
    ECF Veteran
    Supporting Member
    salemgold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    26,497

    Default

    LOL, yeah, she's a real good wife. Very feminine considering her size and I'll tell ya, give that gal some turnip greens and a little possum fat and throw in a ham bone and she can fix a meal that a guy will remember for a long time. I like to take her out to dinner but sometimes its hard to get four chairs under her as she's coming down to sit.

    And K5, I don't know how you knew about that cable reel. When we was on that television show Rural Front Yards I don't think they showed that. But it is handy when my cousin Enid and his brother Enid and my wife want to sit around and watch how good I am on this here computer.

    You're right though. Life IS good!
    vaporgalinfla likes this.

  3. #23
    Double Guru Verified Member
    ECF Veteran
    Supporting Member
    salemgold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    26,497

    Default

    You guys got it all wrong. She's a real romantic.
    I was just telling cousin Enid the other day that the last time we had a fight, when it was over she came to me on her hands and knees.
    Cousin Enid said, "Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say"?
    She said: 'Come out from under that bed, you gutless weasel'".
    vaporgalinfla and chimney55 like this.

  4. #24
    Supplier Associate ECF Veteran vaporgalinfla's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    5,792

    Default

    Salem - Too funny! I remember most of these posts! Just like the first time I read them, I'm laughing and tears are funning down my face. Hubby is laughing too. We need TT back asap to tell us stories.
    salemgold likes this.

  5. #25
    Double Guru Verified Member
    ECF Veteran
    Supporting Member
    salemgold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    26,497

    Default

    I know! I had a helluva time finding them but I also laughed til I cried when I found them LOL

  6. #26
    Unregistered Supplier ECF Veteran
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Valley Head, Alabama
    Posts
    1,165

    Default

    He really does need to write a book with these stories. It would sell lol. My best friend and I were working on our "101 Stupid things to do in a day" book before he passed. Bare in mind this is WAY back when I was a commercial flooring contractor and "enjoyed certain herbals" lol. I had 6 employees and Ted was my my lead man. We were driving back from a job in Lyerly GA when we crossed a bridge that had a sign that said Dry Creek and he looked over to me and said "Why don't they just call it a Big Ditch" and that's the name of the book. 101 Stupid things to do in a day: Why don't they call it a big ditch. Some excerpts.

    #58: Walk up to a cop and just slap him.
    #62: Get stoned and go to the grocery store.
    #75: Go to a strip club your mom works at.
    #76: Go to a strip club your mom work at................with money.
    #99: Run a stop sign in rain with a cop watching and when pulled over he asked...You know why I pulled you over? and you answer...Yeah, you know why I ran the stop sign? What's the point in having money if you can't enjoy spending it?

    Point is he really should write a book with his stories lol.

    To much Scotch tonight............going to bed now lol.
    salemgold likes this.

  7. #27
    Double Guru Verified Member
    ECF Veteran
    Supporting Member
    salemgold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    26,497

    Default

    LOL Dex! I tell TT all the time that he should be paid to write this stuff

  8. #28
    Supplier Associate ECF Veteran vaporgalinfla's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    5,792

    Default

    Here's one:

    A TENT!!! This is wonderful! I've always wanted one of those tents so I'd have a place to sleep when my wife is mad at me. She isn't mad at me all the time, just most of the time.

    Okay all you other senior citizens. We're gonna have our own Vape Fest right out in the front yard in front of the trailer in the tent. We can vape till we're silly and maybe even stay up until 9:30 if ya'll are up to it. I got one of those music things with batteries in it so we can take it outside and listen to Hank, Sr.

    I'll get us some crawdads and fix up some possum fat fried catfish and turnip greens and we can party!!! My cousin Enid and his brother Enid (that's kind of a long story, I'll tell you about it when you get here) make some real nice stuff to drink and it tastes real good if you mix it with that Fresca sody pop. I'll get us some deer jerky so bring your teeth.

    Gosh, I'm so excited I don't know what to say. I'll be back with a story or two!
    salemgold likes this.

  9. #29
    Supplier Associate ECF Veteran vaporgalinfla's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    5,792

    Default

    Another one:

    Well, actually, I bought her something pretty nice.

    I saw on the color television set up at the Coffee Shop where they had these real rough rubber gloves for peeling potatoes and things like that. They were two pair for $9.95 plus postage, handling and shipping and they had a telephone number on there. So I called the number and they was only $83.10 when it was all added up.

    Well, I ordered these for her to peel potatoes and skin beets and scratch my back with. They will save a lot of wear and tear on her hands because ever since she got that job at the Lube Rack her hands have been soft and smooth.

    See, I am so a Sweetie Pie.
    salemgold likes this.

  10. #30
    Double Guru Verified Member
    ECF Veteran
    Supporting Member
    salemgold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    26,497

    Default

    Yep LOL The TENT is where I got some of the old stories.

Page 3 of 8 FirstFirst 1234567 ... LastLast