Jumped Off...

Trypno;13345208 said:

....the ProVari cliff yesterday. The tantalizing sound of the vapor waves crashing against its metallic bronze body drew me in like the pie eyed piper and soon I found myself falling into their soothing, expensive embrace, and placing an order. Before I knew it, I'd ordered the Metallic Bronze ProVari 2.5 with green LED, 18650 extender cap, two 18650 batteries, a ProVari beauty ring, an Aspire nautilus, a multicharger, a leather lanyard, a 3 bottle sample pack of liquid, and two bottles of liquid from HALO.
Without realizing it, I was dragged away from the cliff side by a $400 riptide and slapped in the face with a 3-5 day delivery time.

Stunned, I floated along the sea of vapor products in a daze, drifting past islands of different mods and worlds of liquids, until the sea brought me gently to rest upon the soft, sandy beaches of this place where we are now. I awoke and shook the clouds from my head, sure that I would never recover from the journey I'd just taken.

As my thoughts became more clear, I could hear the faint sound of voices somewhere nearby. I made my way to the treeline, only to be greeted at the entrance to the forest by an ominous Red Triangle carrying a latin motto I was unfamiliar with; 'LUMEN SEES TOTUS' the sign proudly proclaimed.

With my thoughts a buzz, I made my way along the path feeling like a half solid spectre, the chanting growing closer all the while. As I came around a bend in the path, I had to crouch quickly for fear of being seen. I'd come across a clearing where a plethora of berobed folks were performing some strange ritual involving a goat, and the shaking, half-naked person at the center of the circle. The robed figures were holding cylindrical objects of various shapes, sizes, and colors above their heads in reverence, and a heavy, shifting miasma permeated the air of the clearing.

With fear and revulsion creating a sickening thud in my throat, I tried to turn and run, yet found myself fascinated by the spectacle and was instead rooted to the spot.

(Hi everybody, I'm Trypno. I'm new to ProVari, and just ordered my first one yesterday. I must say I'm brimming with anticipation, and hope I may someday be worthy of performing the ProVariNati ritual of initiation and goatiness. Looking forward to getting to know you all )

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