Lost

[trailwalker]

i just need to put this down somewere. my wife has Multpal Myeloma and has been fighting it for 14 yrs. she was doing great for the last 9 yrs . last year it came back and is now agressive. she has had 6 cemos 5 driffent kinds sence last may. she it in bad shape. friday we were told she would not fit the new drug study and they wanted to do more cemo. i was thinking there was no way she could do it. last night she told me sshe was tired and didn't want to. so now i am trying to stay strong for her. but it is killing me . i don't know what i am going to do she is my life we haver been together for 30 yrs and i don't know what to do. i know this is running off but i need to put it somewhere. to keep from breaking down, she needs me still , but this is killing me
thnx i know no one knows me but i am a loner and have been all my life so that is why it is so hard.
TW

 

[Dougiestyle]

It breaks my heart to know the struggle you have to endure. Keep your chin up and your heart full of love. You'll make it and your wife knows you love her, no matter what. Show her your love and try to make your remaining time together as precious as you can. God bless y'all!

 

[TinyTimberGal]

My heart goes out to you and your family. You'll always have shoulders to lean on here at ECF. Godspeed.

 

[trailwalker]

thnx guys i just need to keep busy . the hardest part is keeping my mind off it
TW

 

[ckgjt]

I'm so sorry trailwalker. It shows how much you love your wife. I hope talking to us about it has helped you.

 

[trukinlady]

i just need to put this down somewere. my wife has Multpal Myeloma and has been fighting it for 14 yrs. she was doing great for the last 9 yrs . last year it came back and is now agressive. she has had 6 cemos 5 driffent kinds sence last may. she it in bad shape. friday we were told she would not fit the new drug study and they wanted to do more cemo. i was thinking there was no way she could do it. last night she told me sshe was tired and didn't want to. so now i am trying to stay strong for her. but it is killing me . i don't know what i am going to do she is my life we have been together for 30 yrs and i don't know what to do. i know this is running off but i need to put it somewhere. to keep from breaking down, she needs me still , but this is killing me
thnx i know no one knows me but i am a loner and have been all my life so that is why it is so hard.
TW

Trailwalker;

I am so sorry to hear about your wife! I will keep you both in my prayers! If you break down, its OK! You can come out of that stronger than before! My husband went through it too when I was diagnosed. He was by himself in the surgery waiting area, when the Doctor came and told my husband he would do everything he could to save my life. I had been diagnosed with Stage 3C ovarian cancer.
My husband was just so shocked. None of us had any idea I had cancer, even the Doctors, until I got into surgery.
Chemo takes so much out of a person. It feels like the treatment itself is just as bad as the cancer. There were many days when I felt I just couldn't take it anymore. It got to the point where all I could do was just take things literally minutes at a time.
I know how hard this is for you, too. Sometimes we forget the ones we love are hurting just as much as we are.

You can post here any time. That's what we are here for. We understand what you both are going through.

 

[Survivors Mom]

trailwalker... I just read your post and I can feel the love you have for your wife.

My thoughts and prayers to both of you for peace, hope and faith. xxx

 

[trailwalker]

i wanted to let y'all know today at 335pm cst my wife lost her fight . this is hard for people that have not been through it but it is the best. the last few weeks she was not her self and had no quality of life . now she no longer is in pain so i guess i can rest now . and prepare for the rest of life alone.

 

[Survivors Mom]

I'm so sorry. I can't begin to know your pain. My continued prayers for your strength to carry on as your wife would want you to. Big hugs are being sent your way.

 

[VpnDrgn]

Trailwalker,

I lost my wife of 15 years to a sudden stroke. She was the only person ever willing
to pull me out of my shell, and then was actually willing to put up with the grumpy
jerk that she found. In the end, I couldn't deal with it. I had to pull myself away
from those emotions and lock myself back in my shell. Now, I wear a mask so that
my friends and family can see that "I am fine".

As I stare into the future of loneliness that I have locked myself into, I tell you from
the vantage of experience and perfect hindsight, do not "prepare for the rest of life
alone"!

As much as it may hurt, you need to let your family and friends help you deal with
your grief. I am sure your wife would want you to remember all the good times,
and then live your life well.

 

[trukinlady]

Trailwalker,

I am so very sorry about your wife's passing. I offer my deepest sympathy to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.

You are not alone. Our Heavenly Father is with you, and He will never leave you, nor forsake you. We are here for you, too. Any time.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Numbers 6:24-26
24 “The Lord bless you and keep you;
25 The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
26 The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’



.

 

[TinyTimberGal]

I'm so sorry for your loss trailwalker. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Wuzznt Me]

My prayers are also with you.

 

[36tinybells]

I am so sorry for your loss, trailwalker. I don't have the right words to say what I feel, but I know how it feels to see someone you love lose that fight painfully and I am so sorry.

 

[whitepony]

man i am sorry to hear you will always have friends in #ecf tho

 

[burnsy]

I am sorry for your loss trail and I cannot hope to understand how you must feel. She is at peace now and her pain has ended. If you want to talk about yours at any time, our live chat or forum members are always available to lend a caring ear.

 

[cavibird2005]

God, lively is the courage of those who hope in You. Your servant suffered greatly, but placed her trust in Your mercy. Confident that the petition of those who mourn pierces the clouds and finds an answer, we beg You, give rest to her. Do not remember her sins, but look upon her sufferings and grant her refreshment, light, and peace

 

[classwife]

trailwalker,

I am so very sorry to hear about your wife's passing. My deepest sympathy to you and your family, stay strong.