Madvapes Weekly Contest - August 3 through August 7
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9 months later!!!
John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the
attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,'
she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it
out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, 'Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we
stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' Said Keith.
'Did you, ER, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!' Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Keith's face turned beet red and he said,
'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me everything.
John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the
attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,'
she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it
out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, 'Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we
stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' Said Keith.
'Did you, ER, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!' Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Keith's face turned beet red and he said,
'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me everything.
Why does a blond keep a coat hanger in the backseat of her car?
In case she locks her keys inside.
In case she locks her keys inside.
A blond wearing a set of over the head earphones attached to an iPod walks into a beauty salon and asks for a cut and style.
She gets seated, but when the stylist tries to take the headphones off, the blond says "no! I've got to have them on."
The stylist proceeds to snip and groom... all goes well for the front and back, but the headphones are just in the way. Exasperated, she promises to replace them as quick as possible. Finally, the blond allows the headphones to be taken off.
The stylist goes back to work and it takes a bit longer than anticipated to finish up. But, finish she does, and when she spins her client around to see herself in the mirror, the blond slumps forward, dead.
The stylist, in a panic calls the 911. While waiting for them to arrive, she picks up the headphones...
...and hears "Breathe in. Breathe out."
She gets seated, but when the stylist tries to take the headphones off, the blond says "no! I've got to have them on."
The stylist proceeds to snip and groom... all goes well for the front and back, but the headphones are just in the way. Exasperated, she promises to replace them as quick as possible. Finally, the blond allows the headphones to be taken off.
The stylist goes back to work and it takes a bit longer than anticipated to finish up. But, finish she does, and when she spins her client around to see herself in the mirror, the blond slumps forward, dead.
The stylist, in a panic calls the 911. While waiting for them to arrive, she picks up the headphones...
...and hears "Breathe in. Breathe out."
How I felt when I got my DIY set up and made my first bottle...
A Man walked into a Washington D.C. Catholic Church Confessional.
He tells the Priest:
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the crap out of a congressman.
The Priest responds:
"My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not discuss your community service
He tells the Priest:
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the crap out of a congressman.
The Priest responds:
"My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not discuss your community service
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