Pagan/Wiccan Revival 2016

[liblue1]

Scientist Confirm Reality Filter Theory
January 08, 2002​

I was pondering my occasional tinnitus the other day and wondering if what really causes this ringing is different than what I assumed it to be when, at the same time I was clearing out a stack of old magazines, I found an article on brain malfunctions.

This guy named Rodolfo Llinds of New York University Medical School is a neuro-scientist who has been working on brain malfunctions for forty years and he says that many brain problems have the same cause: a disruption in the electrical rhythms between the thalamus and the cortex. Of course, he is seeking a treatment for what he considers a purely physical disorder, while I am dancing at his discovery as a confirmation of my Reality Filters theory.

He says that what we call reality is produced by the electrical oscillations between the thalamus and the cortex. If you destroy that, there can be no consciousness. When the thalamus or the cortical cells misbehave, they do their own thing, like children playing on their own. They naturally produce low-frequency oscillations. That slow rhythm sets off a high level of activity in the surrounding areas, which is what triggers the symptoms. (Therefore I might also be correct in my assumption that this ringing is merely a proximity alarm for the approach of specific data or entities.)

He also says that everything that gets inside the brain has to go through this "checkpoint." The thalamus and the cortex are linked like the front and back wheels of a bicycle. If this link is damaged, it creates a vibration that in turn vibrates everything else. Because high frequency is the same as consciousness, you then perceive a conscious event that really is not related to the external world. That is, you perceive you are hearing voices or sounds that are not there. Or you get depressed about things that do not even exist. Or you feel compelled to wash your hands even when they are not dirty.

While Rodolfo here is no doubt a good scientist, he does not know what causes the link to be "damaged" and perceives it to be merely a physical disorder. On the other hand, we spiritual wackos say that we create our own changes for our own particular reasons. You say you are hearing voices, so science says that because they cannot hear and record those voices, you have brain damage and they need to give you massive doses of some new wonder drug or a few shock treatments to bring you back to "normal" (read that as consensus reality). I say that you tuned your reality filter to a place where you could hear what is going on around you that "normal" people cannot hear (a connection to alternate dimensions if you'd like to look at it that way). Where you get "crazy" is if you unconsciously tuned your filter and don't understand the data you're receiving.

Now you guys can go back and re-read my theory on Reality Filters and you'll find that science has just confirmed all that, although they believe the cause/result to be totally different. You decide.

Hugs,
Fuzzy
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
It is not the end product but the journey that makes us what we are.

That is what I thought many years ago when it started.......it was around the same time as my path changed...recently it had become even more often and for a longer time.....there is the potability that it's a build up of calcium(as I was told from my Chiropractor about my knees) but then again it fits in with the timing of my awakening....I have not been diagnosed with tinnitus by any medical providers....but sometimes it get really loud and I can't hear anything else....
When it begins I quiet my mind and say "I am open to hear what you have to share".....I believe that even if I don't know/hear the messages, my mind does and it understands what the message is that's being given at that time....
Thank you for sharing this one.....

 

[liblue1]

My card for the day is the 10 of Wands........this is another of those difficult cards for me....
but the short of it is..the worst is over....after a long and arduous task you are tired and worn...but it's almost complete..

The Tens in Tarot represent the completion of a cycle, and thus with the Ten of Wands, you have reached the end of a cycle after a period of struggle. You are finally reaping your rewards after investing a lot of hard work and effort. You have fulfilled a creative venture, realized a dream or accomplished a major goal, and now must deal with the consequences of that fulfillment.
However, the Ten of Wands suggests that even with the achievement of your goal, there comes with it great responsibilities and commitments. While you have reached a point of completion, you are becoming starkly aware that you must now carry on with the responsibilities you have laid out for yourself, in order to ensure ongoing success. The trouble is, however, that these responsibilities may become too much to bear and you are struggling to let go. It is a bit like the business owner who creates a flourishing business but who is unprepared to delegate some of his/her responsibilities to the staff, and ends up working 70-80 hours a week. The inspiration and creativity that was associated with the initial goal or vision rapidly disappears, and everything becomes hard work all too quickly. Thus, it is incredibly important to let go of or delegate some of your responsibilities in order to free you up to still enjoy life.
The Ten of Wands serves as a reminder of how much we take on in our lives and all the extra burdens and responsibilities we weigh ourselves down with. We take on so much, trying to do all the things that need to be done. Thus, this card asks you to stop and examine your current lifestyle or work. Assess which activities or tasks are really urgent or really important, particularly in relation to your broader goals. You may need to employ various time management or prioritisation methods in order to determine where best to spend your time and which tasks you can drop. Your goal needs to be greater efficiency, whilst also freeing yourself up for rest and relaxation when you need it.

 

[liblue1]

 

[liblue1]

 

[liblue1]

I use a lot of herbal teas when I do my rituals.....some of these may help you too........

 

[liblue1]

The rule of three...........

 

[liblue1]

Tiggs this might help you.......

 

[KatzWh1skers]

..I have not been diagnosed with tinnitus by any medical providers....but sometimes it get really loud and I can't hear anything else....

We take on so much, trying to do all the things that need to be done. Thus, this card asks you to stop and examine your current lifestyle or work. Assess which activities or tasks are really urgent or really important, particularly in relation to your broader goals. You may need to employ various time management or prioritisation methods in order to determine where best to spend your time and which tasks you can drop. Your goal needs to be greater efficiency, whilst also freeing yourself up for rest and relaxation when you need it.

..ha..this passage is rather uncanny! I have only just recently embarked on a time management/goals and priority journey ...Okay ..well..it's never too late ..besides ...I can't roll back my reality in this timeline ...but I DO like your idea about Changing my memories of the event(s) @Fuzzy Thunderbear ... ....so true ...seeing as we all seem to experience an event(s) from just a lil different perspective ..which I suspect we think is our reality ...but only from our own viewpoint

 

[KatzWh1skers]

I use a lot of herbal teas when I do my rituals.....some of these may help you too........

..Thanks Blue ...In my wanderings I came across a fella...pushing a broom, no less ...who told me that the drinking of hot water is a cleansing sort of ritual ....so it made sense to me that Man would eventually add herbs and spices to awaken and move the senses and the spirit ...and besides...plain old hot water gets a bit tedious all by itself after a while ...and then I think about the incense and pomp used in Catholic Rituals ....

 

[Fuzzy Thunderbear]

Sometimes I get the ringing in my left ear only, never exactly the same tone, sometimes steady, but usually pulsing somewhat. I discovered that the left ear (for me anyway) indicates negative energies approaching me. If I ask for protection above and beyond my own ability to shield, the right ear starts ringing too, and when it reaches maximum volume, the left ear gradually goes quiet, then the right ear cuts off as if to say, "They are gone now, so we are too." Then again, I could be totally full of BS...

 

[KatzWh1skers]

...I dunno Fuzzy ....I haven't made any connection to it myself.....

 

[Fuzzy Thunderbear]

Surprising what your brain does when you "think" about it...

 

[KatzWh1skers]

yeah...funny

 

[tiggerrts]

See it seems we are all linked again, I get tones in my head it is like a long single tone, but it changes. It happens a lot when I play golf, I can "hear" the distance to the pin and then swing that note; will lay up within two feet.

 

[Fuzzy Thunderbear]

I'm gonna have to pay attention to that the next time I'm on the golf course (if I can afford the greens fee) - Wifey almost made it to LPGA but I'd be wiser to be a caddy.

 

[KatzWh1skers]

See it seems we are all linked again, It happens a lot when I play golf, I can "hear" the distance to the pin and then swing that note; will lay up within two feet.

..I gave up golf after I hit a hole-in-one my second time out ......'''
Really ,Tiggs...quite frankly...that's amazing
Interesting conversation, guys ...

 

[Fuzzy Thunderbear]

Using Your Field of Intentions - Part 1
by Rich Amber © 1999
(and James Redfield and numerous unknown ancient avatars)​

Background and History

Some of you are aware that I had been suffering from back pain (three slipped discs), joint pain (particularly nasty in knees, hips, shoulders) and was diagnosed with a bunch of -itises (osteo arthritis, advanced degenerative arthritis, bursitis, etc.). I also have high blood pressure caused by an aldosterone imbalance in the adrenals. In addition, I had brain surgery for a small aneurysm early this year (1999) and while playing in my head they found a tumor in my throat that they wanted to set up another surgery for. In short, I was stressed to the max by my job (and no doubt a general negative outlook on life) and it was helping to kill off this body.

Some of you also know that I got laid off from my good-paying engineering management position the end of July this year. Now that I have had several months of playing house husband (yes, still unemployed), I realize that I asked for all of the above and got all that I asked for.

Now you are saying, “What!?! You didn't ask to be sick or to lose your job!” Well, no, not verbally I didn't, but... well, let me explain an ancient wisdom that I have very recently remembered.

A couple months back, after being out of work for a couple months, I woke up one morning with a full remembrance of something we should all never have forgotten. Yes, I had known bits and pieces of this old wisdom, but putting it all together into a cohesive working knowledge was lacking until then. And now that I have it figured out and have used it to heal my aches and pains, I think it is time to share it with all of you.

Funny part is, while playing house-husband and doing the grocery shopping, I had this awesome synchronicity while wandering past the book section in Costco - James Redfield had a new book out called The Secret of Shambhala. I was fairly certain this was a continuation of his insights series, which is useable old wisdom wrapped around enjoyable fictional stories (detective cat and mouse mystery stuff). Well, as it turned out, his new story tells exactly what I have just reinstalled in my brain from Akashia, so I guess it is only fair that I give him credit in the byline (though I notice he never credits the ancient avatars in any of his books - sigh).

So are you ready for me to shut up with the preamble and get on with what great power I found that fixed all the pains that the doctors have been unable to fix? Yeah, I bet you are...

I am talking about an energy field we all have around us. It holds your dreams, wants, needs, your expectations, your fears, etc., and it sends these thoughts out to the Universe in an attempt to create your reality as you desire it to be. We all have this. We all affect our realities through this. We also affect other beings in the world (nay, the Universe). If you make it all the way to the end of this article, you will know how to use this energy.

I call this energy a Field of Intentions. Redfield calls it a Prayer Field. The reason I can't fall in line with his terminology is that I define a prayer as a request, asking a question (and meditation is listening for an answer). Other than that, his description and mine are perfectly in line (so, no, this is not plagiarism, unless both he and I are guilty of plagiarizing the ancients).

There are, no doubt, a few of you who would argue my definition of prayer, probably citing the Lord's Prayer as an example because it “asks” nothing. Well, sorry to tell you this, but the Lord's Prayer is not a prayer; it is an affirmation. It simply states what will be done, and it does it in a positive manner, as should all affirmations. “Give us this day, our daily bread” is a directive, not a request. So goes the entire thing...

Anyway, back to the Field of Intentions. Your intention energy comes from your divine connection within and flows out in front of you, bringing forth your expectations. If you are doing this in a positive manner, you will be uplifting everyone that your energy touches into his/her higher-self energy. This maximizes the mysterious evolution of our lives and the awareness of and completion of our individual missions on this planet.

Expectations! Maybe I should define that word because a bunch of you use it differently than I mean it here. An expectation is that which you expect to happen, whether consciously or subconsciously. You say that is what you mean too? Well, what are some examples? OK, how about breathing and having your heart continue to beat? Yes, I expect those to happen. If I expected otherwise, I would be dead now. I expect the sun to come up tomorrow and so far, for all of my lifetime anyway, it has done exactly that. (Apologies to any astro-physicists who would argue that it does not “come up” but that our rotation gives us that impression - OK, I really expect the Earth to continue rotating and the star known as Sol to continue burning gases to make light and heat, etc. Is that better?) In any case, these are examples of expectations. Another expectation is, for example, knowing that there is a huge layoff coming in your company and fearing that you will be one of those who gets the ax. Having unconsciously placed that image in my Field of Intentions, and dwelling on it for months, it was perceived as an expectation, the energy assumed it to be a want, and acted to make it happen. Viola! I got laid off.

Most people hit bumps in this road of life, challenges that bring on a state of fear/doubt and this collapses the field you were trying to maintain. Prolonged dwelling on that fear can bring sufficient bad images, bad expectations (“bad” being a personal judgment of something you consciously thought you did not want to happen), which can then create exactly what you fear will happen.

The problem with fear is that it can be very subtle and sneak up on you quickly. A fear image is always about some outcome you consciously don’t want. You fear failing at some task, embarrassing yourself in public, losing your freedom, losing your income, or even losing your life. The difficult part is that when you begin to feel fear, it often turns to anger, and then you use that anger to marshal your forces and fight back against whomever you feel is the threat. Whether you are feeling fear or anger, you have to realize that these emotions come from only one source: those aspects of your life that you want to hold onto. Because fear and anger come from being concerned that you are going to lose something, the way to avoid all these emotions is to be detached from all outcomes.

continued below

 

[Fuzzy Thunderbear]

Using Your Field of Intentions - Part 2​

Many of you will find detachment very difficult and some even believe it is impossible to detach completely, citing life-or-death matters. How can you not care about that? I did not say you should not care. I said you have to be detached from any particular outcome. To be detached is simply to realize that there is always a higher purpose that can be found in any event, in any outcome. You should always be able to find the silver lining, a positive meaning that you can build on.

What about people who have terminal diseases? My mother died from a degenerative bone disease (and my fear of it being genetic is probably why I got it – or something similar). It is very hard to be detached from that. But this was the result of that person not being detached enough during the events that lead up to such a critical situation. If you learn detachment, your energy can remain high enough to avoid all those negative occurrences. If you stay strong, always intending the positive, whether or not the outcome was exactly as you thought, then "miracles" begin to happen. Yes, I am saying that everything bad that happens to you occurs because you missed some synchronistic opportunity to avoid it (and for those of the pre-birth mission contract ilk, you might have chosen to be ill for a reason – but this document is trying to describe how you can change things that are not part of any contractual agreement, yet still might occur).

It might seem awful that I say this because I appear to be assigning blame to the person with the terminal illness, making it his/her own fault that s/he is sick because s/he missed an opportunity to find healing. Please do not even think in terms of “blame.” That is a negative judgment. We all do the best we can, but it is a truth we must accept if we are to reach the highest levels of Intention-energy. You must always believe, with a powerful faith, that you will be saved from such problems.

At times you will miss some things. Human conscious knowledge is incomplete and you might even die due to a lack of information. But the truth is that if we all had access to all the knowledge that we eventually will have, you would always be guided out of any perilous situation. You reach your greatest power when you assume that is the case already! This is the way you can stay detached and flexible and build a powerful Field of Intentions.

If your ongoing Intention-energy is strong enough, you expect synchronicity and send energy to others so that they can also expect synchronicity. The overall level of energy will just keep going up (and we will reach that stage that many are currently calling Ascension). God has a built-in safety device for all this, however. The power of Intention only gestalts when it is in harmony with the Divine. That is, God will not allow the power to be turned up in your Field of Intentions unless your intentions are in harmony with the Universe's intentions.

Now you understand that your Field of Intentions is working constantly in the world, sending out your expectations, and in the case of other people, the effect can be almost instantaneous. Negative intent is not as powerful as positive intent because when you intend negative results, you cut yourself off from your higher-self energies. There usually are some small effects anyway, though you can reverse or overcome them by immediately restarting your field in the positive and flooding it with Love. (In the old days, these two sides were called Additive magic and Subtractive magic and the subtractive wizards rarely lived as long as the additive folk, but that's a whole other book.)

Because of these effects, we wrote something that has become known as the Golden Rule. It is claimed by Christians, though it very much predates Christianity, and it is being passed out as “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I think the full version has been forgotten, but the best available quote appears to be, “Do unto others in the same manner that you would have them do unto you because how you think about them is exactly how they are going to be, and will treat you accordingly in return.” This means that when you expect a person to behave toward you in a nasty manner (“He's a damn blue-skinned Centauran and all them scaly .......s are jerks.”), that is exactly what they will do. Instead, flood that person with positive energy to raise his/her energies. When s/he gets closer in vibration to his/her higher self, s/he will react in a positive manner. If you expect bad, you will get bad. If you expect good, you'll get good. (Again, “good” and “bad” are judgments, which the Universe does not acknowledge at all, but humans seem to dwell on far too much. You will get whatever it is you expect, no matter how you judge the result.)

OK, you say, you've had enough background information and you want to know the steps required to consciously create your reality (or modify the one you've been living in). You got all the preceding because it all begins with your acceptance that your intentions create an energy field around you. To recap quickly, this Field of Intentions carries within it all your beliefs, expectations, desires, needs and does what it can to create your reality in such a way as to incorporate all these things. This energy is very real. It flows out from you and affects everything and everybody in your reality.

Once you have the realization that this is real, you can grasp that this field, the effect it has on your reality, can be consciously expanded. (It is far easier to do all this if your energy is high quality, and this can be helped by a change in diet – eliminate heavy processed foods that build up acid solids in your molecular structure, thereby lowering your vibrations – but this also can be a whole book on its own.) In any case, you should note that the more pure your vibrations are, the easier it is to connect with the more subtle energies available within you.

continued next post

 

[Fuzzy Thunderbear]

Using Your Field of Intentions - Part 3​

Activating and Using your Field of Intention

1. Start by sitting comfortably and focusing on the beauty around you (come on, you can find something beautiful in all things). Breathe deeply, like you are starting a meditation. Each time you breathe in, you are pulling more energy into yourself. Each time you breathe out, you are filling and expanding your energy field (use the emotional state of Love). You will be able to verify that this is working because you will perceive things to become even more beautiful as your energy increases. Eventually, you will learn to breathe in the energy consistently, even while on the run.

2. Set your energy field to increase and enhance the synchronistic flow of your life. (Synchronicities are a direct communication from the energies in the spirit realms, showing you which way to turn to accommodate/create your desired reality.) You do this by staying in a state of conscious alertness and expectation for the next intuition or coincidence that moves your life further along. This expectation sends your energy out even farther and makes it stronger because you are aligning your intentions with the process of growth and evolution structured into the Universe.

3. Intend that your energy goes out and boosts the level of energy in others, lifting them into their own connection with the divine-within and into their own higher-self intuition. This increases the probability of those other people giving you intuitive information that can further enhance your own energy level of synchronicity. (This feedback circuit could change the whole world if we could get everyone to participate.)

It is important that you anchor and maintain the outflow of your energy; otherwise a fearful or angry situation will shut down your field. You can do this by maintaining a posture of detachment towards events and their outcomes. You must always seek a positive meaning and know that the process will produce results that are in your best interest, no matter what appears to be happening around you at any given moment. Such a posture helps you to stay focused on the flow and keeps you from dwelling on the negative images of what might occur if you fail.

If you find a negative image coming to mind, determine whether it is an intuitive warning that needs your action or if it is just fear creeping in. If you decide this is a warning, note it and return to the expectation that a higher synchronicity will guide you past the problem. If it is just fear, banish it and get on with the positive. This anchors your field, your outflow of energy, with a powerful expectation that has always been known as “faith.”

I know you might think I am harping on this area, but please keep those negative thoughts out of your mind, especially concerning other people. When your fears turn to anger, you lapse into thinking the worst, and a negative energy goes out that tends to create in them exactly the behavior you expect. Many people think it is a bad thing to say something negative about others but that it is OK to merely think it. Wrong! Thoughts are things. None of this need be done as a ritual or ceremony because it is your thoughts that create your reality as you expect it to be.

4. You must also acknowledge that you have spirit helpers – in this case, angels. No, these are not guides or group souls or even your higher self. But also, please do not think of the angels in the purely biblical sense. You have to think of these angels as spiritual messengers, which is all that word means anyway. If you cannot eliminate the picture of luminous winged ladies like the Christian paintings imply, then use another word for these spiritual beings (Redfield uses the Tibetan word “dakini”). They are also expediters. They work the Will of God, and you are part of God, so as long as your intention is in phase with the divine, they will also work your will. Using your Field of Intentions, empower the angels to take action on your behalf.

Summary

Begin with the energy of the Creator (God/Source/I AM/Universe/All There Is/Force/pick one). Let it come into your body and fill you up. Let it flow out the top of your head (crown chakra, if you're into that stuff) and through your eyes (pituitary chakra or third eye). Let it flow out into the world in a constant intention field until you see only beauty and feel only Love. In a heightened alertness, expect this field to move out and boost the fields of others, raising them into their intuitions. With all your expectations, visualize your field being amplified. Empower the angels fully and charge them to take action on your behalf.

Will this always work? Yes! Will you always get what it is you think you want? No. Why? Anything that is not in harmony with divine plans will not be permitted (e.g., attempting to change someone else’s life in a negative manner – the divine intention is that we are all responsible for our own paths and you cannot change another’s without their permission, so the Hollywood version of voodoo and black witchcraft are pure BS). Likely, anything that is contrary to your own life mission will be deflected by your subconscious or higher self before it gets far from your own ego.

There is no doubt that we each create our own realities (sub-sets of the consensus reality), but many have always doubted we could consciously control it. In my case, my body is rapidly mending itself according to the original template (no doctors or drugs needed now). I have placed within my Field of Intentions the desire and belief that this body no longer needs to suffer the severe pains of the past few years and, thank God, it has become part of my new reality. This has proven to work for me.

Because we each are 100% responsible for our own lives, what do you intend to do now that you know how?

 

[Fuzzy Thunderbear]

Some Notes on Field of Intentions
November 19, 1999​

>So what happened to make you realize you were doing this??

I was doing an exercise in “no time” and realized that every time I said “Ow” to some pain, I was actually complaining about something that occurred in the past (even a microsecond ago is the past) and the past is no more real than the future (past is just a memory, future is yet a dream). In analyzing this, it occurred to me that I should not be complaining about memories because they are gone and I should only live in the Now. Then I saw that in making complaints about the past while in the Now, I was actually setting an expectation for the future. That is, I was creating more pains by even acknowledging the previous pains. Now there is no way that I would ask other people to try to live in this manner until they have advanced more and can understand these concepts fully enough to apply them to daily life, so I merely concentrated on the expectation end of it, the unwitting affirmations you intend by your every thought, and I started making notes on how to present that to the world. After several weeks of making notes and trying to apply the concept to my life, I started to organize it so I could share it with others. That's when I found that Redfield book and he was saying the same thing (though he wrapped it around that cute fictional story).

>this no time stuff really is confusing. But I do see what you are saying and I have been applying this to other parts of my life … like my weight. AND it isn’t working yet. If anything I am gaining weight. Back fired

I have found through years of “failures” that all my affirmations, AKA the thoughts that I send out to the universe as my intentions, must be phrased in the positive. Things like “I am losing weight” seem to appear negative to this field and it fixes on the word “weight” and gives me more of what I don't want but it thinks I do want (because of the way I phrased it, I guess). So to lose weight, I have to visualize the end product and state it as “I am thin and beautiful and healthy” and send out a picture of how I want to look. Then, after doing that, I seem to develop a craving for some food I never liked before (like a chef salad) and have less appetite, etc., and I start losing weight. When I get complacent about it, I hit one of those things the doctors call a plateau where, no matter what we try in our diet, we don't seem to lose any more. So I throw out the picture again and suddenly I find myself climbing rocks, which changes my metabolism, then the food pattern starts again and I lose more weight. I am on one of those plateaus at the moment, but I have to admit that even though I would be healthier if I dropped another 50#, I am perfectly content where I am. And that too is pushed out in my field of intention, so I will no doubt stay right here until I decide to change some more.

Le Anne recently posted my little document to one of the Lists she is on and already two people who were having some real bad times have come back with stories about how using this has turned their lives around. I am so thankful that it has helped them and I must give credit to the divine (in them, in each of us) for this. I expanded my field and it enveloped others, and they are expanding their fields. Many will be sending this to all their friends (with my permission, granted freely) and maybe the Love will grow. Thank you Source for sharing all this with me so I could share it with others... Amen.

From: person's e-mail deleted for privacy
To: The_Ravens_Nest
Date: Tuesday, November 23, 1999 8:48 AM

Holy Cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think Rich just wrote the most amazing piece of literature I have ever read. Not only did it inspire me, but what he said is so TRUE!!!!!

I am one of the ones who blames others, thinks negative... all of what he said! Now, I know how to use this Field of Intention. I printed it, will use it and PLEASE thank him for writing it.

Most of my life I have blamed others because of the things that happened in my life. I know that’s not true. I made decisions that were wrong, no one made me do the things I did.

Today, I start thinking positive...throwing out the negative right now. Already I feel better. Thank him for me, would you please? This was a post people should comment on. So many members on this list and so little mail. Its a shame. But, you know me hon, I have a mouth, I can type and as long as I have both, I will continue to use them. hahaha

Love And Light sweet one
<name deleted>

From: <another person - name deleted>
Subject: [The_Ravens_Nest] LeAnne and Rich and their good timing
Date: Wednesday, November 24, 1999 12:05 PM

I was going to post this privately, but I changed my mind and am now RE-writing this for all of you.

I have had that file - the one you sent me about Fields of Intentions - for well over a week, maybe two. And I did not open it until today. For some reason, I just did not open it. It had nothing to do with me NOT wanting to read it... it just never got opened. I had clicked on it, but something pushed me OUT of my mailbox. Until today...why today?

The Ravens had returned. Remember them? My little messengers where all over the place again. Swooping me, on the poles, in my yard, flying with my car everywhere I went. It was obvious. They had been gone for a while -just the odd one checking up on me perhaps - but I knew earlier this week that things were about to change - drastically. And they did. Some of you know the details - but lets just say - my life took a sharp turn and I did not make the move with it and went sailing off the road for a few days in a pile of broken pine tree branches, wondering what the hell just happened. There was more than one thing going on, there was an accumulation of almost a year of BS hitting the fan all this week and I had reached my limit of things and could not take another thing on top of me)

Yesterday I was driving my car and I noticed that the world was crisper, sharper. I am an artist and I DO tend to forget the beauty in things until they begin showing it to me again. But that needs to come from inside me, not outside. The Ravens where bombing me now...And I paid attention to them this time.

Things began to iron out and I got back on my personal highway... and tried to smile and not think of the negative aspects of life. Then today I went for a LONG meeting about starting up my own business (the ideas are still in the works, but I have to have the plan done up by mid next month) Or I don’t qualify. Never mind the details...it is the story behind this I need to tell.

The Ravens began to pass...and I noticed it...This afternoon, I read Rich's work. The field of intentions and I knew that this was the RIGHT time to read it. And it was. Any other time I would have shuffled it off, no offense Rich, but I was too negative to even approach it with any good eye. But not today. Today I read that... and I nodded my head and agreed that I have done all of the above - soaked my head in the pain, kicked myself when I was down (for no good reason) and opened myself up for more, just because I was so low that I just felt, why not pile it on me more. I became more than physically ill, I became spiritually ill and shut myself off from just about everyone here and at home. Lying in the pain seemed, better to some point, easier. Why not? Why not just give up and take what you have and moan about it...

...but I changed that field - as you call it (thank you, by the way for sharing that) - and it is NOT easy to maintain this early in the game...(One day)...and I have noticed my mood shift almost immediately. I did have one or two things that really brought me down today...and I WAS down, but I worked hard on it and brought it back up. I HAVE to be positive in my energy levels because I WANT this new business venture of mine to succeed! I want to have some DIRECTION in my life. WE all fall into pits where we cant see the ladder when it is right in front of your face and you feel like there is nothing, no hope and you cant move anywhere...well I was there, but I just had to have faith in myself and my own beliefs. No one could do that for me. I had to reach in and decide that it was time.

So I am coming back to the list...but I am not 100% back to my normal self. I am dealing with a lot of issues that I have trouble swallowing. At home, outside of home, money, friends, health of myself and my family members, but I realize that I cant be of any help to anyone if I sit back, alone, in a dark room and moan and sulk about any of it. I can’t change things if I don’t take a step forward. And Rich's letter was the kicker that helped me to realize that. It is one thing to read it and say – okay, that's nice, but another one to be in a point in your own life where you can really use such good advice.

And I am not going to be 100% successful. Oh I just did it...I kicked myself back a few steps didn’t I? I HAVE to learn NOT to do that. I do tend to kick myself, HARD, take things personally...all of which adds to the fact that I end up being negative towards myself (low self image is the main result and I can admit to doing that and then of course, comes the low mental attitude.. OH that must be MY fault then, blaming myself for things that DONT EVEN INVOLVE me...I have a thing that you all might laugh at, but I call him my Little dancing man...

..some of you have met him, in one way or another. He is my little dancing man and he lives inside of me. And when I get stressed, or unhappy - anything negative - He dances for me, squishes the emotions down down down into these little glass jars that I store unnecessarily inside me...he dances A LOT! And tips his hat, "thank you Miss Raven. I was getting bored and needed to exercise my legs - please send in more crap!!!"

So changing this, thanks to Rich and others who have helped to begin a healing process inside of me was just what my life needed RIGHT NOW! I am listening to my Ravens, all the voices in my head and trying to ignore the dancing man is crying for more tunes to listen to. (I spoiled him this week with far too many tears) And no matter what religion this is all based on, I DID have messengers this week - ones that told me that enough was enough - and it was TIME now for my life to change, And all I HAD to do was open up, release some pain (there is still a lot to go, don’t get me wrong here), but just that little teeeeeeeny tiny pit of positive faith was enough for me to do this today and write to you all and say, HEY..IF you believe, I BELEIVE this WILL work for you.

Okay, enough rambling... Part of my decision is that I am going to keep running this list. WHY? Because I KNOW that when I post, a majority of the time I HELP others, I send things that are useful and I try and send out as much positive energy in my postings as possible. And perhaps that is WHY the few of you who post from time to time (LUV YOU ALL) are still here. Not for the content but because I TRY to keep this a fun loving place to be and damn it works and I am going to take some credit for that right now and buff up my own ego a bit!

And when I get awful email.. bad notes from angry members.. YES that brings me down, but from this point on I have to learn how to change my outlook on that. Take it with a grain of salt and realize that it is NOT my fault they are unhappy and it is NOT my fault they are unsatisfied and if I want to unsub someone? I will do it. And that will be that. And I won't let anyone badger me into changing things back, letting them back in, IF I don’t want it. I was doing a lot for others and it was not what I wanted. I felt pushed back, even as a list owner, to do things that others wanted. And hey.. this IS MY list and it is my joy to be here...but I just took EVERYTHING so personal and to heart and felt everyone’s bitter pain and took responsibility in it for some reason.. and in turn.. let them walk all over me. And I was unhappy about it.. sad.

I have to learn that some pain is NOT my fault. I CANNOT take responsibility for others’ pain. I can empathize and help them heal, but I have to learn to keep my own center, or field, filled with positive energy from now on, and send that out, keeping MY own levels up. THAT will be the hard part. After 30 some years of thinking that everything is my fault and I must find a way to fix it – Rich, you opened up a new door for me - A healing door and maybe NOW I can live MY life with the best intentions ever and NOT be dragged down when it is NOT my road to be on..

There are some of you on this list that I need to really thank: <deleted> and <deleted>, your letters were a God send and an eye opener ( they where such a help!)...<deleted>..? Thank you so much for making me laugh about Mud pies (grin.. only she knows what I am talking about) and being there for me to talk to anytime I needed it, <deleted> for holding me spiritually while I cried my eyes out like a lunatic and rubbing my cyber feet until I relaxed, and <deleted> and <deleted> for keeping me busy while I was on the Internet (how is the bookcase?) grin.. and <deleted> for letting me yell at him LOUDLY until I got a lot of crap out of my system.. Rich for that piece you wrote… it really HAS made a difference in my life after only a day… thank you. And <deleted> for yelling at me to contact her a million times a day! (HUGS Girlfriend!! Sorry we never had a chance to find each other) Heaven help me if I have forgotten any one of you on my thank you list.. just let me know.. say HEY YOU Remember me? and I will go oops!! But I have written a LOT today and I think I have you all mentioned here... OH and thank you ANYONE who wrote me on this list or privately asking me to stay. There where A LOT OF you and I noted everyone!! THANK YOU!!

Now I am going to get my .... OFF This chair and get some work done!

<name deleted> is BACK!!!

I hope these two people's successes will help you understand that you can do this.