3 Common Mistakes Christians Make That Turn People Off From Church

[Saintscruiser]

I saw this and thought we could all use a refresher. I know I do.
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3 Common Mistakes Christians Make That Turn People Off From Church

Image via Flickr

Chances are, if you grew up in the church, or have been a believer for a while, you have become numb to some glaring issues Christians have in representing Christ, and the church as a whole. It is easy to dismiss our judgmental attitudes, or overlook our inability to reach out and love people who are different, or maybe scare us a little. I’ve attended and been a member of a few different churches since becoming a Christian, and I’ve noticed that everyone tends to struggle with the same things – no matter if it’s a super hip mega church, a traditional congregation, or a brand new church plant.

1. WE DON’T LEAD WITH LOVE

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People need truth and love. One without the other leads to a warped Gospel. The truth spoken without love is harsh and causes people to raise their walls, close their ears, and walk away. Love spoken without truth easily turns into a prosperity gospel, or an “all roads lead to heaven” approach. Our default is to lead with truth, but too often we forget to follow up with love. Jesus gave us many great examples of how he lead with love, and followed up with truth – the adulteress woman, the Samaritan woman, consorting with tax collectors, etc. Mark 2 tells us that Jesus dinned with thieves and other disreputable sinners. He knew these people needed the Truth, and he knew that what they were doing was wrong. But he also knew that they were looked down upon and scorned by the world already. They heard every single day how they were not good enough. Jesus knew that if he was going to make a difference, he should show them how much he cared, and gain their trust and respect. Then the truth he followed up with would hold weight in their lives. John 13:35 says:

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

Let that sink in. We are to be known by our love. The world is to know us not for our reasoning skills, and our long list of do’s and don’ts. We are not set apart by our cross jewelry and our Ichthus bumper stickers. We are to be known for our love.

2. WE ASK PEOPLE TO BEHAVE BEFORE THEY BELIEVE.

This is the number one hinderance to going to or staying at a church for most of my non-Christian friends. All too often, we encounter someone who is dressed a certain way, or who uses a colorful vocabulary, and we bee line in the opposite direction. Not only is this not loving, but we give off the judgmental vibe, (even in all our subtle bee-lining). How can we expect someone to hold all of the same values we do, without having the same foundation of right and wrong? If our worldview’s are fundamentally different, our actions will follow suit. So instead of nit picking on the length of shorts one should wear before they can come to Christ, explain why Christ is worth coming to in the first place. Or better yet, show them the difference Jesus has made in your life. Bottom line: we cannot change anyone, but we can point them to the One who can.

3. WE FORM CLIQUES AROUND SHARED BELIEFS, INSTEAD OF FORMING COMMUNITY AROUND SHARED BROKENNESS.

It’s fine to have friends who believe the same thing you do about scripture, but when that becomes the glue that holds you together, you tend to be prideful. It causes an “us vs. them” mentality, and ultimately takes away from the unity we were all created to share in Christ. Instead, if you base your Christian circle around building each other up, knowing you are all broken, and live in a world where we are so easily damaged – well, that leads to humility. And there’s nothing more attractive than a humble Gospel. You may or may not agree on every doctrine, and that’s ok. Remind each other of truth, encourage one another, and put their needs before your own – now that’s a group anyone would want to be a part of.

SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
Doing these things, whether intentionally or not, is in fact, a big deal. It’s a big deal because Jesus often opposed the Pharisees openly for their pride and judgmental attitudes. He also overturned tables and tore apart the temple when he found that it was not being used for it’s intended purpose. So we ought to be careful that we are using the church for her true purpose – to seek and save the lost, to point them to the Truth in love, by any and all means necessary.

 

[mightymen]

I saw this and thought we could all use a refresher. I know I do.
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"3 Common Mistakes Christians Make That Turn People Off From Church
Chances are, if you grew up in the church, or have been a believer for a while, you have become numb to some glaring issues Christians have in representing Christ, and the church as a whole. It is easy to dismiss our judgmental attitudes, or overlook our inability to reach out and love people who are different, or maybe scare us a little. I’ve attended and been a member of a few different churches since becoming a Christian, and I’ve noticed that everyone tends to struggle with the same things – no matter if it’s a super hip mega church, a traditional congregation, or a brand new church plant."
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I'm in disagreement on how and what is being said in almost all parts of this post. I'll be addressing this by section due to the length of the post.

IMO: the writer is looking at the scriptures and teaching of God through humanistic eyes and when we do that we are removing the GOOD NEWS - GOSEPLE OF JESUS CHRIST and replacing it with us.

Scripture is not revealed through the flesh then the soul and finally the spirit - for the flesh wars against the spirit. Wisdom comes from God and God is a Spirit. Spiritual matters can only be understood by the spirit.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English For the flesh craves anything that opposes The Spirit and The Spirit craves whatever opposes the flesh, and they both are contrary one to another, lest you would be doing whatever you want.

The writers attention is on the physical buildings called churches though this can be a place of worship for the believer the buildings themselves are worldly and fleshly. The writer has left Jesus Christ, and the GOODNEWS out of his conversation and replaced them with a physical building and himself. We are nothing without JESUS and left with our own sin nature, disobedient children that reject God.

He leaves out the foundation which is Jesus Christ our redeemer. Coming to understand and admit that we need Jesus is the first process of being able to receive salvation, it takes a repenting heart, believing in Jesus and asking God to forgive us to receive Salvation this is the beginning of our personal relationship with God. We begin our journey of listening to the Holy Spirit as He or She teaches us we try to obey or at least we should be doing so. It's done in progression first we crawl then we stand upright next we try to walk it takes awhile until we find out we can run without falling down. We learn and our teacher is God.

We are not all on the same level of understand yet the writer is presuming we are and using the law as his tool to instruct. We are under Grace not the law and if under Grace we are seen as righteous by God.

LOVE - Show people the love of God, YES by telling them the GOODNEWS.

As a believer your nature is new - let your light shine. Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Matthew chapter five
1 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

 

[r77r7r]

Really good post, SC. TY

 

[Saintscruiser]

MM, back when I was able to go to church, I'd invite people all the time. In this particular article, the church is a place of worship, where people could worship together. Now I totally understand what you are saying, that the saints are the Bride of Christ, which is also called the Church. Most people duck for cover when they are approached for a church invitation. Trust me, people would see me and run!

True story. I was dating a guy. He was an insurance salesman and would invite potential customers to a dinner. Well, I was sitting across from a couple. This guy was the nephew of a man that owned 7 chicken restaurants. I was in radio sales. When I found out, I thought, "Hey....easy sale!" I decided to take my daddy on this sales call as the uncle and my daddy were friends. Did NOT get the sale, but my daddy and I were talking about our church and invited him to come. Well, he did! He was a Christian and he started inviting people, right and left including his nephew. In the meantime, the guys wife was caught cheating on him and over a period of time, they divorced. Long story short, the nephew is my husband of many years....not the salesman who turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. God knew Daddy's and my hearts, and blessed me through the invitation to Uncle Buddy. Uncle Buddy is with Jesus as well as my daddy. There was no way I could have known that looking across the table that I would marry that guy. None. So what was a genuine invitation, eventually led me to marriage. As my counselor said and I've already used it once today...."It was a God thing." Bless His Holy Name.

 

[mightymen]

MM, back when I was able to go to church, I'd invite people all the time. In this particular article, the church is a place of worship, where people could worship together. Now I totally understand what you are saying, that the saints are the Bride of Christ, which is also called the Church. Most people duck for cover when they are approached for a church invitation. Trust me, people would see me and run!

I always tell you I see spiritual things different then most people do, is it right or wrong and is it for me or every one - I don't know.

Did Jesus tell anyone at all come to the temple with me. Did any of the disciples say come to Temple with me. - There was no invitation given, why? Their eye's and thoughts were always on God. Did Peter tell the bagger at the temple steps why don't you come inside with me or did Peter tell the bagger this -

Acts 3
5 And he began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 But Peter said, "I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene-- walk!" 7 And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened.…

 

[Saintscruiser]

I always tell you I see spiritual things different then most people do, is it right or wrong and is it for me or every one - I don't know.

Did Jesus tell anyone at all come to the temple with me. Did any of the disciples say come to Temple with me. - There was no invitation given, why? Their eye's and thoughts were always on God. Did Peter tell the bagger at the temple steps why don't you come inside with me or did Peter tell the bagger this -

Acts 3
5 And he began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 But Peter said, "I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene-- walk!" 7 And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened.…

I know you do, but ponder this........the disciples and apostles would gather together themselves with like minded minds. Paul tells to all to gather together and worship, even if its only two people. 'Where two or more are gathered in my Name, there I shall be also.' So whether it's in a room with a few, or a large building, worship means worship. In my church, we sang to God, Bless His Holy Name, worshiped Him, learned about Him, His Son, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, prayed together, and cried together. It was a building that we called our worship spot. I do know what you are saying and you know what I'm saying and I think it's the same, isn't it?