I'll take a swing.
You say you vape in restaurants in a way not to bother fellow patrons but like you said that is your perception. But do you know it doesn't bother anyone? Your perception isn't the only one that matters. Like you said there is always a counter position but I respectfully disagree as I believe there are multiple positions. For instance with the OP's original post
I very much believe there are multiple positions, but also see there is a overriding principle that deals with respect. I think we know I could address each of the multiple positions you brought up, but the thing about respect is it generally covers all situations. Plus it is always a two way street. And then there is the factor of being honest, along with courage / toughness.
Like I brought up example of person with questionable breath. Who gets to determine if questionable is 'bad?' In your many counter positions, it would be everyone but the person who has this going on, and in all your alternate positions the inherent position is that for everyone else it might be bad. Therefore everyone in public with questionable breath ought not to be breathing indoors. That is honestly how I interpret your current argument(s).
I honestly cannot think of something that in today's ridiculously over sensitive culture that is 100% non-offensive to all people in public. If you can, I would very much like to put it on the table for something where mutual respect will always be met with everyone in public. Cause with vaping in public, in my experience, and I know I am not alone, it is between rare and not at all met with public confrontation. So, if we are only basing it on people who might be offended, but are choosing to remain silent, then I would proffer that this could be said about all conceivable behaviors while in public, and again, invite you to contribute a human behavior that is 100% non-offensive to all people in public.
Given what we know about what was said in OP, there was one patron that was verbally confrontational, but did not express this counter position in a respectful way. We do know that OP did address the obvious point of concern which amounts to ignorance (plain and simple) and after that, instead of choosing confrontation (which would have some merit) chose instead to vacate the scene to not escalate tension. All respectful from the vaping perspective, including the vaping in the restaurant part. But your position assumes, or asserts, it is blatant disrespect and then goes onto say maybe, possibly everyone else in the restaurant is offended, and therefore no one ought to vape indoors in public.
As I've said in similar threads, this same logic would apply to outdoor vaping in all public situations if carrying the same rhetoric into those discussions and staying consistent. It could also plausibly apply to situations where vaper is on, or in, own property, and am glad to take up the counter position you are advocating to help make that realization for those who think it cannot possibly apply to outdoors, own car, own home. Admittedly, it would be tougher to argue if the situation is set up with idea that zero people are anywhere near the vaper (or vaper's residence / car), but seemingly if I vape in a hospital and there are zero people anywhere around me, then people still want to argue that it is just plain wrong to vape there. I routinely ask why.
Your position/perspective isn't the only one. You do not own the place. You do not know what others may be thinking. You don't know what issues they may have. Some you will never know. Some will be verbal as in the first patron. You have no clue, to be quite honest, whether you are hurting the business or helping it. You also wont know for sure if you are being considered obnoxious or not without others speaking up. Some may speak up, I know I would, but most won't. Bottom line is you just don't know.
Do let me know if you know (for certainty) the one behavior which humans can engage in, in any public situation, that will be 100% non-offensive to all people involved. Again, I welcome that to be put on the table, for I think it is highly pertinent to what you are conveying in your current position.
What you do know is...vaping is under scrutiny. You know that vaping in public places where smoking is not allowed might raise issues. You also know what vaping is. You also know others may not. You know that there are a lot of folks that think vaping is worse than smoking given your statement concerning Antz and their mass public indoctrination. Yes, I agree that these policies were invoked before this indoctrination but there is no denying that this indoctrination does exist and is helping to progress those policies forward now...and you know this too. You also know that some think it is smoking. Bottom line is there is a time and place for "proper" debate...but not over someone else's lunch. It will just leave a bad taste in there mouth...pun intended. By the way, vaping etiquette is a relevant debate on this forum. Now you know my position. My question is why even throw fuel on that fire in the first place, knowing all this, and vape in places where smoking isn't allowed and further progress these policies? Or maybe you're not.
In answer to your question about why throw fuel on the fire that amounts to plausible further scrutiny for vaping community:
1 - Because of how I understand / practice respect. Already explained above. This is my #1 reason, though may not be another's.
2 - Because of current scientific understandings around secondhand vapor and how it does equate to very little to no actual harm being delivered to all persons in the situation. While I may not know for sure that all persons won't be offended, I also do not know this about ANYTHING I do in public. Therefore I stick to principle of #1 and proceed accordingly.
3 - Because of experience and what my quasi research / anecdotal evidence has provided, which is most people really do not care. Of the people I have asked and who said no, or the stories I've heard on vaping forums, this counter position is laced with ignorance and contempt for vapers/smokers.
4 - Because I've about had it catering to the ANTZ rhetoric in modern society, and do feel confrontation now has merits. Not in all conceivable situations, but for sure in some.
5 - Because vaping in public without shame could just as likely lead to further education or people wanting to learn more and accept it more. I think for some this is #1 reason and for me it is a top 5 consideration.
Your move.
