Heart Breaking, Please pray for Ginger

[Beans]

My heart is shattering into a million pieces. Ginger Roger Laughery my beautiful 19 yo jet black, green eyed love is just too sick. I can't help her anymore, I can't ease her pain and I can't hold on to her anymore. I have to say good by. I can barley breath, I don't know how to do this. Say good by. We have been through much these last 19 years. Her dependence on me got me through some of the bleakest blackest times of my life. She was given to me as a replacement for the children I was not able to have and made that part of my life very full. I will NOT let her suffer but I don't know that I can handle this. We have a 9 am apt this morning. She "we thought had an eye infection in march" and has been on and off antibiotics since then. due to her age she can't be sedated so the Vet and I have been blindly treating this as an infection even though we feared something worse but didn't have proof. Her labs are alwYs perfect and at her age thats huge. But sat am I noticed her eye started to buldge. Which after much discussion(previously) with the vet we know it could be cancer. So I made an appointment but her vet went on maternity leave yesterday (of course) so it's up to a new vet to decide. I won't let her suffer, but how do I stop trying to treat her and face the facts. I want her to live so bad. I just keep thinking if we can fix her eye she would be fine. She is healthy other wise. How do I do this? How do I justify not trying everything in my power to help her. How do I know she isn't supposed to live 25 years( I KNOW but some do) I'm grasping at any hope right now. Do I tell the new vet to sedate her anyways and go in and take our chances? Do I let go? How? To real parents out there....Don't you take any and every chance to save your babies?
Oh please pray for my baby....

 

[Natalia]

Oh Beans,

My heart is breaking for you! I am so, so sorry about Ginger.

I have my 19 yr old baby KC. She has been in kidney failure for over 2 yrs. Even though she's putting up a good fight and not yet ready to let the disease win, the moment you are facing is always in the back of my mind.

I wish I had words of wisdom, but they fail me.
All I can do is tell you, you are in my heart and thoughts.

Many hugs to you,
N.

 

[Beans]

Thank you N.
The new Vet confirmed my fears. The only treatment, remove the eye then try to get the tumor and proceed with radiation. I can't even concider it. She is not suffering at the moment is what I was told though her face is tender she is still trucking along. However if the tumor grows anymore it will be putting too much pressure on her eye and quickly become TOO painful. The Vet kindly told me to enjoy the week and pick a day next week. One that she is doing very well and she seems to be the happiest and bring her in. She said its much better to do it on a good day than to do it on the worst. I will do what I have to.

N. I'm sorry your baby is sick too. It's such a terrible thing to face. My best wishes are with you both as well. Lots of hugs, sniggles and ear scratches.

 

[Natalia]

Thank you Beans,

I try to make the most of each moment I have with her as I'm sure you do too. KC has been there everyday for me, as Ginger has been for you. We can't let them suffer, though the alternative breaks our hearts and rips at our souls.

I wish you strength and peace in knowing you are doing the right thing... the hardest thing, yet the kindest.

 

[Fudgey]

My Littlebit was suffering from failing kidneys, blindness and was starting to go deaf. She had a major siezure last fall and went downhill from there, in the end I belive that she didn't even know who I was anymore. It is a very tough decision to make, even though you know in your mind it is the right decision yet it tears your heart apart.

Big hugs to you both.

 

[samuraijill]

Oh Beans! I'm so sorry! I've been there, I still can't speak out loud or even write about him to this day. Cry it out, know that what you know is right, and take your peace where you can get it. ((hugs))

 

[SuziesMom]

Oh that's just awful. I have a senior dog, and I figure when the time comes that I will send her out eating chocolate peanut butter cups. To show her what she was missing in this life, and that she's going to a better place where she can eat peanut butter cups. It's cheesy, but that's the plan.

 

[Beans]

TY for your kindness everyone....

 

[tofucute]

:hugs:

 

[classwife]

Oh I am so sorry....my heart is breaking with yours....(hugs)...so very hard....we love them so much....

 

[Natalia]

Oh Beans,

My heart is breaking for you! I am so, so sorry about Ginger.

I have my 19 yr old baby KC. She has been in kidney failure for over 2 yrs. Even though she's putting up a good fight and not yet ready to let the disease win, the moment you are facing is always in the back of my mind.

I wish I had words of wisdom, but they fail me.
All I can do is tell you, you are in my heart and thoughts.

Many hugs to you,
N.

KC went into congestive heart failure Tuesday night (June 21st). One of the longest
nights of my life.

She passed peacefully in my arms at the vet, (Wednesday June 22nd) at 11:15 am.

I am devastated, but I know I did the right thing. I just don't know how to stop crying.

 

[Beans]

Natalia, I am so sorry. Words are failing me now. My heart is hurting for you, I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Natalia]

Thank you Beans. I know you understand and I appreciate your kind words more than you know.

 

[Beans]

My Ginger passed peacefully in my arms today @ 8:24. I know it was the right thing to do. I said all my good byes and cried all my tears the last few weeks. It was her time. Now to heal my Husbands cancer.Thanks for all the support

 

[MizJackson]

I am so sorry for everyone's losses. We had to send our Daisy over the rainbow bridge a couple of weeks ago. She was very old, losing weight, getting stuck in corners because she couldn't see, and was losing her cognitive functions. She had a horrible mast cell tumor on her ear. She had lived with the worst degree of heart failure for about 3 years. The vets were always amazed she was still with us each time we visited. I think it was sheer force of will.

It was very hard for all of us, but the one thing I have noticed, is that I know that her pain is gone, and that has meant the most to me. We are both free of that burden we carried, Daisy and I. She doesn't hurt any more, and I do not hurt because she is hurting.

She was a senior adoption, her other mama lived in an apartment after leaving her husband. The landlord caught her with Daisy and threatened her with eviction. So Daisy came bounding through my door.

That dog waited at our door for her mama for about three days. The she realized that she could accept me as her mama. And she did with a vengance. She was everywhere I was. So attatched, when I would go to work, she would dig at the door, until she hollowed out the sheet rock next to it. In her last days, she would search for me, and still follow me. Her final bath, which was a horrible, painful experience because of the tumor, she called out for me, "Mama!" I never doubted her love.

Our whole family was devastated to lose her. But we all knew it was time.

Now she sleeps in the sun right outside the door, with the hamsters, rats, and guinea pigs. She has her own little rock garden.

And her mama passes by her every day.

 

[Beans]

(((MiZJackson))) Daisy sounds like a wonderful girl. She was so lucky to have a loving Mama like you.

 

[Digitaltitan]

My heart goes out to everyone in this thread. Completely in tears at the moment. We recently lost our Ginger and I can't stop crying again.

Loosing family is hard.