Jumped Off...

Discussion in 'ProVape' started by Trypno, Jun 4, 2014.

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  1. Trypno

    Trypno Super Member Verified Member

    ....the ProVari cliff yesterday. The tantalizing sound of the vapor waves crashing against its metallic bronze body drew me in like the pie eyed piper and soon I found myself falling into their soothing, expensive embrace, and placing an order. Before I knew it, I'd ordered the Metallic Bronze ProVari 2.5 with green LED, 18650 extender cap, two 18650 batteries, a ProVari beauty ring, an Aspire Nautilus, a multicharger, a leather lanyard, a 3 bottle sample pack of liquid, and two bottles of liquid from HALO.
    Without realizing it, I was dragged away from the cliff side by a $400 riptide and slapped in the face with a 3-5 day delivery time.

    Stunned, I floated along the sea of vapor products in a daze, drifting past islands of different mods and worlds of liquids, until the sea brought me gently to rest upon the soft, sandy beaches of this place where we are now. I awoke and shook the clouds from my head, sure that I would never recover from the journey I'd just taken.

    As my thoughts became more clear, I could hear the faint sound of voices somewhere nearby. I made my way to the treeline, only to be greeted at the entrance to the forest by an ominous Red Triangle carrying a latin motto I was unfamiliar with; 'LUMEN SEES TOTUS' the sign proudly proclaimed.

    With my thoughts a buzz, I made my way along the path feeling like a half solid spectre, the chanting growing closer all the while. As I came around a bend in the path, I had to crouch quickly for fear of being seen. I'd come across a clearing where a plethora of berobed folks were performing some strange ritual involving a goat, and the shaking, half-naked person at the center of the circle. The robed figures were holding cylindrical objects of various shapes, sizes, and colors above their heads in reverence, and a heavy, shifting miasma permeated the air of the clearing.

    With fear and revulsion creating a sickening thud in my throat, I tried to turn and run, yet found myself fascinated by the spectacle and was instead rooted to the spot.

    (Hi everybody, I'm Trypno. I'm new to ProVari, and just ordered my first one yesterday. I must say I'm brimming with anticipation, and hope I may someday be worthy of performing the ProVariNati ritual of initiation and goatiness. Looking forward to getting to know you all :D )
  2. Johnny101

    Johnny101 Ultra Member

    Hi and welcome
  3. COHgirl

    COHgirl Super Member Verified Member

    Welcome! It will all make sense when "The Package That Must Be Signed For" is in your hands. Patience.... :)

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  4. rollcoil

    rollcoil Full Member

    You may be recruited to scribe the Provarinati bible. :nun: Welcome!
  5. Trypno

    Trypno Super Member Verified Member

    Thank you all for the kind welcomes, I will be sure to have a quill pen made from the feather of an expensive and exotic bird dipped in gold ink ready and waiting for said signing rite, 'The Package that Must Be Signed For' will not slip through my grasp, lest I be forced to wait all weekend while 'The Package' resides at the Office of Post.

    And it would be my great honor to inscribe the ProVarinati Bible, if I were to be so blessed with a great task.
  6. Mark Anthony

    Mark Anthony Vaping Master Verified Member

    Welcome to the family..... We've been expecting you!!
  7. Trypno

    Trypno Super Member Verified Member

    Thanks Mark, so you mean I was foretold of in the prophecy?
  8. amanda211

    amanda211 Super Member Verified Member

    That... was awesome. Welcome to the family!
  9. Trypno

    Trypno Super Member Verified Member

    Thank you Amanda :D glad to be a part of such an illustrious group. I'm also glad I wasn't eaten by you guys back there in the clearing
  10. The Ocelot

    The Ocelot Mystagogue φ Verified Member

    Supporting member
  11. AngiBe

    AngiBe ECF Guru Verified Member

    Supporting member
    Welcome! Mojitos and bacon tacos will be served in the Saloon, pull up a chair, cop a squat and enjoy.
  12. Trypno

    Trypno Super Member Verified Member

    Bacon tacos sound amazing...are those tacos with bacon in them, or taco shells made of bacon with taco stuffs inside?
  13. The Ocelot

    The Ocelot Mystagogue φ Verified Member

    Supporting member
    The latter...

  14. Trypno

    Trypno Super Member Verified Member

    :melts: I can feel the heart disease becoming hereditary in future generations of my bloodline as we speak O.O
  15. TFL!

    TFL! Super Member Verified Member

    Welcome to this world of the Pro Vari
  16. jwbnyc

    jwbnyc Ultra Member Verified Member

    Supporting member
    Oh you are going to fit right in here.

  17. Trypno

    Trypno Super Member Verified Member


    All Hail the Holy Sceptre, upon which we commend our nicotine cravings and lose not our tempers at silly things, amen.
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