Status
Not open for further replies.

Trypno

Super Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Jan 17, 2014
939
1,405
Colorado Springs, CO
....the ProVari cliff yesterday. The tantalizing sound of the vapor waves crashing against its metallic bronze body drew me in like the pie eyed piper and soon I found myself falling into their soothing, expensive embrace, and placing an order. Before I knew it, I'd ordered the Metallic Bronze ProVari 2.5 with green LED, 18650 extender cap, two 18650 batteries, a ProVari beauty ring, an Aspire nautilus, a multicharger, a leather lanyard, a 3 bottle sample pack of liquid, and two bottles of liquid from HALO.
Without realizing it, I was dragged away from the cliff side by a $400 riptide and slapped in the face with a 3-5 day delivery time.

Stunned, I floated along the sea of vapor products in a daze, drifting past islands of different mods and worlds of liquids, until the sea brought me gently to rest upon the soft, sandy beaches of this place where we are now. I awoke and shook the clouds from my head, sure that I would never recover from the journey I'd just taken.

As my thoughts became more clear, I could hear the faint sound of voices somewhere nearby. I made my way to the treeline, only to be greeted at the entrance to the forest by an ominous Red Triangle carrying a latin motto I was unfamiliar with; 'LUMEN SEES TOTUS' the sign proudly proclaimed.

With my thoughts a buzz, I made my way along the path feeling like a half solid spectre, the chanting growing closer all the while. As I came around a bend in the path, I had to crouch quickly for fear of being seen. I'd come across a clearing where a plethora of berobed folks were performing some strange ritual involving a goat, and the shaking, half-naked person at the center of the circle. The robed figures were holding cylindrical objects of various shapes, sizes, and colors above their heads in reverence, and a heavy, shifting miasma permeated the air of the clearing.

With fear and revulsion creating a sickening thud in my throat, I tried to turn and run, yet found myself fascinated by the spectacle and was instead rooted to the spot.

(Hi everybody, I'm Trypno. I'm new to ProVari, and just ordered my first one yesterday. I must say I'm brimming with anticipation, and hope I may someday be worthy of performing the ProVariNati ritual of initiation and goatiness. Looking forward to getting to know you all :D )
 

Trypno

Super Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Jan 17, 2014
939
1,405
Colorado Springs, CO
Thank you all for the kind welcomes, I will be sure to have a quill pen made from the feather of an expensive and exotic bird dipped in gold ink ready and waiting for said signing rite, 'The Package that Must Be Signed For' will not slip through my grasp, lest I be forced to wait all weekend while 'The Package' resides at the Office of Post.

And it would be my great honor to inscribe the ProVarinati Bible, if I were to be so blessed with a great task.
 

amanda211

Super Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Nov 8, 2013
366
630
BFE, USofA
....the ProVari cliff yesterday. The tantalizing sound of the vapor waves crashing against its metallic bronze body drew me in like the pie eyed piper and soon I found myself falling into their soothing, expensive embrace, and placing an order. Before I knew it, I'd ordered the Metallic Bronze ProVari 2.5 with green LED, 18650 extender cap, two 18650 batteries, a ProVari beauty ring, an Aspire Nautilus, a multicharger, a leather lanyard, a 3 bottle sample pack of liquid, and two bottles of liquid from HALO.
Without realizing it, I was dragged away from the cliff side by a $400 riptide and slapped in the face with a 3-5 day delivery time.

Stunned, I floated along the sea of vapor products in a daze, drifting past islands of different mods and worlds of liquids, until the sea brought me gently to rest upon the soft, sandy beaches of this place where we are now. I awoke and shook the clouds from my head, sure that I would never recover from the journey I'd just taken.

As my thoughts became more clear, I could hear the faint sound of voices somewhere nearby. I made my way to the treeline, only to be greeted at the entrance to the forest by an ominous Red Triangle carrying a latin motto I was unfamiliar with; 'LUMEN SEES TOTUS' the sign proudly proclaimed.

With my thoughts a buzz, I made my way along the path feeling like a half solid spectre, the chanting growing closer all the while. As I came around a bend in the path, I had to crouch quickly for fear of being seen. I'd come across a clearing where a plethora of berobed folks were performing some strange ritual involving a goat, and the shaking, half-naked person at the center of the circle. The robed figures were holding cylindrical objects of various shapes, sizes, and colors above their heads in reverence, and a heavy, shifting miasma permeated the air of the clearing.

With fear and revulsion creating a sickening thud in my throat, I tried to turn and run, yet found myself fascinated by the spectacle and was instead rooted to the spot.

(Hi everybody, I'm Trypno. I'm new to ProVari, and just ordered my first one yesterday. I must say I'm brimming with anticipation, and hope I may someday be worthy of performing the ProVariNati ritual of initiation and goatiness. Looking forward to getting to know you all :D )

That... was awesome. Welcome to the family!
 

The Ocelot

Psychopomp
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Aug 12, 2012
26,497
79,191
The Clock Barrens, Fillory
Thanks Mark, so you mean I was foretold of in the prophecy?

zesl.jpg
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread