It's one thing to be arrogant and purposefully incite confrontation - I never suggested that people should vape against the wishes of the property owner - but it's another to do something which is perfectly legal and allowed by the owner of the establishment. Smoking is banned in bars in my state, yet many bar owners allow vaping because vaping is not prohibited by law. The more smokers who see me vaping, the more who may convert, the more establishments may encourage it and the less likely that e-cigarettes would be added to smoking bans. But based on what you said (that you won't vape anywhere smoking isn't allowed) wouldn't you still agree that my vaping in a bar under the conditions defined above are acceptable? Just because I say I would vape where smoking isn't allowed doesn't mean I would have to automatically be rude, arrogant or inappropriate. There is a huge difference of vaping where the law says you cannot smoke (when there is no law prohibiting vaping) and vaping where the establishment or business asks you not to vape.
...but that is the sort of decision that should be left to the property owner in any land claiming to protect the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness/property....don't you think? 
I don't even feel obliged to stealth vape--ya need something to get rid of the smell of gasoline! 
