Good Morning Mt. Baker! It's that time again.........."Terrible Joke Wednesday" is here again! Here we go!!!
Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"
The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"
The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."
There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"
A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word." The mathematician accepts the challenge and they switch places for the next speech; the driver dresses like the professor and the professor dresses as the driver and sits in the back of the auditorium.
The driver gives the speech flawlessly and opens up the floor for question, usually there are none. But one of the students at the university has a very large ego and decides to attempt to stump the Nobel Prize winner. After the student asks his question for ten straight minutes the driver laughs and says "That question is so simple I'll let my driver in the back answer it."
A police officer pulls over a car full of old women. He says "Ma'am, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."
She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"
Laughing the cop says "No ma'am, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit." He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"
The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."
A rancher was minding his own business when an FBI agent comes up to him and says, "We got a tip that you may be growing illegal drugs on the premises. Do you mind if I take a look around?"
The old rancher replies, "That's fine, you shouldn't go over there though." As he points at one of his fields.
The FBI agent snaps at him, "I'm am a federal agent! I can go wherever I want!" With this he pulls out his badge and shoves it into the ranchers face.
The rancher shrugs this off and continues with his daily chores. About 15 minutes later he hears a loud scream from the field he pointed out earlier. Suddenly he sees the FBI agent sprinting towards him with a large bull on his heels. The rancher rushes to the fence and yells "Your badge! Show him your badge!"
Have the best of days everyone!!!
You're killing me with these jokes! Might have to start archiving these for later. Thanks for making Wednesday morning the most hilarious time of the week.
Here's a few jokes for you:
Q: What's "Pasteruize"?
A: Too far to see.
Some people say the Vice President is dragging his feet on deciding whether or not to run for President, but I think he's just Biden his time.
I know a great trash joke, but I REFUSE to tell it.
