Good Morning Mt. Baker!!! Once again it's...
"Terrible Joke Wednesday!!"....can it get any better? Here we go!
Sherlock Homes and his partner, Watson, are going camping. After a few hours of sleeping under their tent, Sherlock wakes up Watson. When Watson finally wakes up, Sherlock says "Watson, look up, what do you see?" "I see billions of millions of stars in the distant universe." Replied Watson. In respones, Sherlock says "And what can you conclude from that?" Watson begins to go deep into the theory of space, but less than three sentences in, Sherlock cuts of Watson and says "No you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."
Four ladies are sitting together talking about their sons. The first one brags, "My son is is a bishop, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your excellence'."
The second lady brags, "My son is is a cardinal, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your eminence'."
The third lady brags, "My son is is the pope, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your holiness'."
The final lady says, "My son doesn't have a title, he weighs 500 pounds and is only 5 feet tall. But every time he walks into a room everybody says, 'Oh my god!'"
A pirate walks into a bar with an eyepatch, pegleg, and hook for a hand. The bartender notices his leg, "How did you get that pegleg?"
The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a shark aboard. The shark bit my leg off!"
Wow," replies the bartender. "What about that hand?"
The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a killer whale aboard. The whale bit my hand off!"
"Oh," replies the bartender. "How about the eye?"
The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a seagull came outta nowhere and pooped in my eye."
"And that blinded you?" asked the bartender.
"No matey, it twas my first day with the hook."
A British man, Frenchman, and American are on an African safari when they are captured by cannibals. The cannibal leader addresses them, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but I must follow our traditions."
The Brit replies, "What does that mean?"
The cannibal replies, "We will kill you, eat you, cook you, and make canoes from your skin. But we're not all bad, we'll let you choose your death."
The Brit steps up first and says, "Give me a pistol." He puts it to his head and yells, "God save the Queen!"
Next the Frenchman asks, "Can I have a sword?" As he runs into the sword he yells, "Viva la France!"
Finally, the American asks for a fork. He begins to stab himself repeatedly everywhere. The cannibal leader yells at him, "What in the world are you doing?!"
The American yells, "Good luck with my canoe!"
Have the BEST of days everyone!
As always, these are great. The pirate one really made me
. Here's a few quick ones for you all.
Why did the accountant dump his girlfriend?
- He lost interest.
When the restaurant "Chick Fil-A" first opened up many wondered if they'd be successful or not. When asked about how it was running the business the owner replied "We get by on a wing and a prayer."
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
- Kilometery Cyrus.
Cheers, and we hope you have a great day!
.....sometimes it's just hard to be positive on this day. Where did the weekend go? Anyway....I hope you all have the best of days, tomorrow will be here before we know it!
