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Great way to start the week! Thank you for the laughs. We hope you had a great holiday weekend!Good Morning Mt. Baker! This is my last day for this week and it's also "Terrible Joke Wednesday"!....Let's see what we can do.....
A man was walking into the hospital for a routine examination the other day. Just as he reached the main entrance, another man, who had just exited the hospital, keeled over on the sidewalk. The first man ran towards the second and noticed that he was obviously dead.
The man rushed into the hospital, grabbed the first doctor that he could find, and screamed, "Doctor, Doctor!! A man just walked out of the hospital and dropped dead on the sidewalk!! What should I do?"
The doctor thought about this dilemma for a few moments, then suggested, "Spin him around. Make it look like he was coming in."
A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire exactly where the heart would be on a woman.
The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother. He says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your daddy a great big hug!"
A chicken farmer went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a woman patron and orders a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
He turned to her and said, "What a coincidence. This is a special day for me; I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. They clinked glasses and he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."
"That's great!" says the woman, "how did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched roosters," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.
Two elderly gentlemen, one 87 and one 80 were sitting on a park bench, discussing their health when the 80 year old noted that the 87 year old's wife was much younger. "How do you manage to have the energy to keep up with her?" the 80 year old asked. The 87 year old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...don't you think by the time you get to the 5th it'll be hard?"
He replied, "Holy crap! ... does everybody in the world know about this Italian bread but ME?!"
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you walking around like this?"
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff . I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy... '.
"And here I am."
A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?
Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"
The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."
Smile a little, laugh a lot and have a great Thanksgiving everyone!
In celebration for Cyber Monday we are offering 20% off all juice and discounts with code MBVCM2016.
Hope this helps start your week off right!
More time off is always enjoyable! With today being Cyber Monday we hit the ground running this morning! I am sure after all this holiday run around we will be ready for another break come January!Good Morning Mt. Baker! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoyed the time off. We start another week, and .......well....I'm wishing we had more time off....Anyway, let's get through today and on with the week. Have the best of days all!
The holidays sure are expensive aren't they?!
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Want to save some money??
Follow the links below to take advantage of our best pricing of the year for Cyber Monday!
GO HERE: Vapor E Cig Juice | Electronic Cigarette Nicotine Juice
GO HERE:Mt Baker Vapor - Electronic Cigarettes
FLASH SALE! Today only, from now to 4pm PST, get six bottles for the price of five! Every order gets a bonus MYSTERY FLAVOR! Buy now, and try your luck!
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Good Morning Mt. Baker! I've been away the last few days out with strep throat. I'm back, but a little shaky. Sorry I missed Terrible Joke Wednesday, but I promise I'll make it up next week. Right now, all I want to do is go back to bed. I hope everyone is having a good week so far, and have great plans for the weekend! Have a great day everyone!
Feel better soon, paleodian!Good Morning Mt. Baker! I've been away the last few days out with strep throat. I'm back, but a little shaky. Sorry I missed Terrible Joke Wednesday, but I promise I'll make it up next week. Right now, all I want to do is go back to bed. I hope everyone is having a good week so far, and have great plans for the weekend! Have a great day everyone!
Sent from my Moto G (4) using Tapatalk
Get well soon!! Being sickGood Morning Mt. Baker! I've been away the last few days out with strep throat. I'm back, but a little shaky. Sorry I missed Terrible Joke Wednesday, but I promise I'll make it up next week. Right now, all I want to do is go back to bed. I hope everyone is having a good week so far, and have great plans for the weekend! Have a great day everyone!
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Get well soon, paleodian.
feel better soon!! i to have the dreaded junk! ugggggGood Morning Mt. Baker! I've been away the last few days out with strep throat. I'm back, but a little shaky. Sorry I missed Terrible Joke Wednesday, but I promise I'll make it up next week. Right now, all I want to do is go back to bed. I hope everyone is having a good week so far, and have great plans for the weekend! Have a great day everyone!
Enjoy your day Reddhott! Be sure to see what today's flash sale flavor is! Each day a new flavor is 20% off! https://goo.gl/eWWpYM
I am sorry to hear you are under the weather! Sickness seems to be a trend lately. Get better soon!Good Morning Mt. Baker! I've been away the last few days out with strep throat. I'm back, but a little shaky. Sorry I missed Terrible Joke Wednesday, but I promise I'll make it up next week. Right now, all I want to do is go back to bed. I hope everyone is having a good week so far, and have great plans for the weekend! Have a great day everyone!
Be sure to see what today's flash sale flavor is! Each day a new flavor is 20% off! https://goo.gl/eWWpYM
Each day Mt Baker Vapor is having a FLASH SALE on a specific e-juice. Stop by our site each day to discover the featured e-juice of the day! Heres a link for your convenience: https://goo.gl/eWWpYM
Good Morning Mt. Baker! Friday and the weekend is here!
I hope you all have a pleasant weekend ahead. Thank you everyone for the well wishes. The antibiotics seem to finally be kicking in and I can actually swallow a little soup without screaming like a little girl.........Have the best of days everyone, and enjoy your weekend!!!
I hope you all have a pleasant weekend ahead. Thank you everyone for the well wishes. The antibiotics seem to finally be kicking in and I can actually swallow a little soup without screaming like a little girl.........Have the best of days everyone, and enjoy your weekend!!!
Aww Red....so sorry dear. It's not my idea of a fun time and I'm sure it's not yours. Get better soon!
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