Significant other anti-vape

[Poolea77]

I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. Prior to starting to vape 4 months back, my fiancé and I both smoked cigarettes. He usually goes in the basement and I would go on the front porch. When I first started, I started to do it in the living room with him in there and he said "your not doing THAT in the house, are you?" I tried to explain to him that it is not the same as smoking and my vaping in the living room smells a lot better than the cigarette smoke that comes up through the basement. We work opposite shifts, so I started just going outside when he is home. But, it is getting a to be too cold for me to want to go outside anymore when it really should not be necessary. The other day, I thought he was asleep downstairs and I had vaped a little in the bedroom and he came upstairs and yelled at me. OK, I won't vape in the bedroom anymore, I can handle that - but I think anywhere else should be ok. He always complains about "being able to smell it". I ask if it smells bad, to which he always says not - but the fact that he can smell it is a problem for him.
Whenever I get a package in the mail, he gives me a hard time.
I have asked him a few times why he hates it so much and I have gotten the following responses:
"it's just weird to carry such a big thing around" (at that time it was a 30W istick lol)
and
"you spend too much money on it"
then I remind him of the various hobbies that he has like fishing and hunting that require gear, money and time.
Im just tired of being made fun of in my own home for making a positive change in my life. Even worse I am disgusted by the smell of cigs now - but I refuse to be the quitter who acts holier than thou so I don't say anything. So it would be great if he would do it too, but that is never going to happen So to my questions:
Has anyone else had a similar experience with a significant other?

 

[mattiem]

I truly do hate to say this but if it were me I would be seriously rethinking my choice in partner. I am assuming that you are an adult and an adult should be allowed to make their own decisions as to what is healthiest for them.

Maybe he is afraid you will try to force him to change. I've not walked in your shoes so no way will I give advice even if I was asked for it. I can just say what I would do. Good luck to you as you work through this.

 

[supertrunker]

My wife is now able to smell someone smoking from 200 miles away and i'm thinking of allowing her to work at airports.

As for the cost of vaping v smoking - well there are enough banners here for you to make up your own mind.

T

 

[Woofer]

Im just tired of being made fun of in my own home for making a positive change in my life.

Perhaps it is time to review your choices in fiances. Yes I am totally serious about that.

 

[Thespis]

 

[Bacong]

heh. my roommate is the same way. it sucks.

 

[bussdriver]

Let his actions be your warning. That controlling attitude will most definitely carry over into other situations in a relationship.

 

[Poolea77]

Eeeeek, not what I want to hear - but definitely what I need to hear! People tell me similar things about other issues all the time. But it's good to hear on this particular issue that I am not off-base. Thank you guys for being candid with me.

heh. my roommate is the same way. it sucks.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

 

[VHRB2014]

Good Luck.

2nd Cor. 6:14 comes to mind.

 

[Asbestos4004]

Amazes me what people are willing to give advice about. If we're not pretending we're doctors, we're pretending we're marriage counselors. Unreal.
I think you two will come to some sort of agreement.

 

[ZCAR1]

There are doctors and marriage counselors, then there are psychics.

 

[Steamix]

Crab bucket syndrome ?

 

[herb]

I truly do hate to say this but if it were me I would be seriously rethinking my choice in partner. I am assuming that you are an adult and an adult should be allowed to make their own decisions as to what is healthiest for them.

Maybe he is afraid you will try to force him to change. I've not walked in your shoes so no way to give advice even if I was asked for it. Good luck to you as you work through this.

Fact is most, (even when they know the person is not right for them) tend to stay together because the "ending" it part is so uncomfortable and starting over again also scares people to death.

I always believed letting go asap is always the best route because eventually it's going to happen and it will be even harder at that time , start the healing as soon as possible and move on , you will always be better off in the end .

 

[papergoblin]

Hey I'm always looking for a roommate, just need you to send some pics of your mod(s), atties and liquids, lol. Look I get some of it, if he can't smoke you shouldn't vape, it is fair. He shouldn't though be such a pain about it and trust me from someone divorced 2x's, it is not the big things that make a relationship fail, it's the little things. If you two can have a big issue over vaping, it will only get worse over money, kids, and who knows what.

 

[papergoblin]

Fact is most, (even when they know the person is not right for them) tend to stay together because the "ending" it part is so uncomfortable and starting over again also scares people to death.

I always believed letting go asap is always the best route because eventually it's going to happen and it will be even harder at that time , start the healing as soon as possible and move on , you will always be better off in the end .

Don't forget some dread starting over, the meeting and dating stuff.

 

[MattyTny]

I don't think there is much we can help you with here. The two of you will eventually work things out.

What you can do is use unflavored liquid to compromise if the smell is an issue.

 

[Bunnykiller]

Ill bet there are other things you do too that he finds unacceptable huh?? What he is doing is typical, makes a fuss and shows displeasure, you wanting to be "proper" will change your ways to appease him... its a control thing happening here... a power play..
Keep vaping where you want... and when he fusses, complain of the smell of ciggies, quit kissing, quit "other things" for a while.. tell him his breathe is too much to handle and see how far he will go to appease you... and when you see just how far it is, consider the other posts above...

 

[Rabbit Slayer]

Run, don't walk, away from that relationship as fast as you can

 

[edyle]

I have asked him a few times why he hates it so much and I have gotten the following responses:
"it's just weird to carry such a big thing around" (at that time it was a 30W istick lol)

Ok, that explains what he's so upset about (He is jealous )

So, now serious question:
Who's house is it?
By the sounds of it, it is either his house, or it's a joint ownership thing or else its a rental thing, possibly his or joint.
Since you two are not married, my guess is that it is his house.

and then why does he go down in the basement?

and another thing: sounds like if he was smoking a cig and you were using a blu, there would be no problem as far as he is concerned.

 

[mountaingal]

I have to keep the car window cracked open when in the car with my hubby. And he doesn't like it when I blow it near him when watching TV. He is glad I am not smoking cigs, but has voiced several concerns about the nic being dangerous. I tell him I have researched it throughly and he backed down. However, if the actual vapor makes him uncomfortable, I will do what I can to pacify him. I'd suggest picking a room you can go to vape instead of going outside to vape. A spare bedroom might do. Good luck.