Significant other anti-vape

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Douggro

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Reality check, people: couples can and do disagree over things and have otherwise happy and functional relationships. My wife and I having differing views on religion and politics, but we've reached a compromise with each other that we'll respect each others' stance on the matter and leave it at that. Poolea77 is faced with a conflict over her SO's view of vaping in the house. Could it be evidence of some deeper issues in the relationship? Sure. Or not. That's up to her to figure out.

The funny thing about us people - human beings, that is - is that we're constantly gathering evidence to support our points of view. We'll get the posse formed: "You'll never believe what so-and-so did! Isn't that outrageous?" Nothing better to have the posse at your back, agreeing with you. Look through the arguments here or any other online community and if you're looking for it, it's as plain as day. I wanted to jump on the Red Flag bandwagon too until I remembered that little fact.

Poolea77, best advice I can give is to sit down with the SO and talk this out. Leave whatever you're possibly holding against him out of the discussion. He's got something wrapped around you converting to vaping and doing it in the house. He may think it's unfair that you think it's okay to vape in areas where he doesn't feel he's allowed to smoke. You're only going to find out by talking to him and not making it personal. "Defend/attack/defend/attack" conversations usually don't go well for anybody. Find out how he's feeling about it and deal with those feelings. Your feelings can come later in the conversation.
 

herb

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Don't forget some dread starting over, the meeting and dating stuff.

I mentioned the starting over part lol, that scares people to death but much worse is wasting your time and life with someone you have strong suspicions of is not right for you.

The break up pain is inevitable , by staying all your doing is wasting precious time and prolonging the inevitable . You can do what i do , view the opposite sex from a distance and just hang with your dog , relationships are a major pita , don't need the headaches lol.
 

herb

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Mar 21, 2014
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Northern NJ native , Coastal NC now.
Reality check, people: couples can and do disagree over things and have otherwise happy and functional relationships. My wife and I having differing views on religion and politics, but we've reached a compromise with each other that we'll respect each others' stance on the matter and leave it at that. Poolea77 is faced with a conflict over her SO's view of vaping in the house. Could it be evidence of some deeper issues in the relationship? Sure. Or not. That's up to her to figure out.

The funny thing about us people - human beings, that is - is that we're constantly gathering evidence to support our points of view. We'll get the posse formed: "You'll never believe what so-and-so did! Isn't that outrageous?" Nothing better to have the posse at your back, agreeing with you. Look through the arguments here or any other online community and if you're looking for it, it's as plain as day. I wanted to jump on the Red Flag bandwagon too until I remembered that little fact.

Poolea77, best advice I can give is to sit down with the SO and talk this out. Leave whatever you're possibly holding against him out of the discussion. He's got something wrapped around you converting to vaping and doing it in the house. He may think it's unfair that you think it's okay to vape in areas where he doesn't feel he's allowed to smoke. You're only going to find out by talking to him and not making it personal. "Defend/attack/defend/attack" conversations usually don't go well for anybody. Find out how he's feeling about it and deal with those feelings. Your feelings can come later in the conversation.


Disagreements are fine , it's not showing respect , unwillingness to compromise and downplaying the others point of view that dooms relationships.
 

Rizzyking

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Sit down and talk with him relationships don't work because both people are totally in sync on every issue they work because of the ability of both parties to compromise and reach a middle ground both can live with. How that talk goes will determine what happens next and only you can make that decision as only you really knows everything about the situation. Make a point about the cold weather making it more difficult to vape outside ask him what smells he likes and see if you can find one you like as well but ground has to be given on both sides so for everything you give make sure you get something in return, that's how you'll know if your really right together because if it doesn't work on something as simple as this God help you with kids and the extra financial burden.
 

Oberon75

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I constantly have issues with my significant other and my vaping. If I buy even a bag of cotton, it causes issues. Although I do probably spend more than I should. But since she is a smoker, if I want to buy a new $200 mod every couple months, it shouldn't be an issue.

Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk
 

Jman8

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We're all on a vaping forum, participating in a thread where a vaping related question started things out. Why would a marriage counselor be more appropriate for answering the question than a vaper would? If it is at point of being something that could impact the relationship, counseling could help, but would be nice to put things in perspective.

I be a dual user. I also be someone that wishes many more places today allowed smoking indoors. But I do get why many places do not. I do not get why any place disallows vaping indoors. To compare the two is debatable and I'm always up for that debate. I think it's an easy win for vapers. Scientifically, it's easy. Common sense why, it's easy. The only factors where it is not easy is if someone is holding a grudge against vaping/vapers, they are one of 50 people who are allergic, or they claim the smell annoys them. The allergy one is the toughest to overcome, but is so rare, not sure it even matters. The annoyed by smell one is easiest to overcome, but depends on the situation / relationship. Those holding a grudge are people I'd suggest educating as best as you can and if still holding a grudge, then I'd suggest not staying with the relationship as it could surely happen with other things if they are that closed minded.

Seriously, someone that fishes is using the smell can be annoying ploy?
 
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Well, I guess many vapers, including myself, do spend significant amount of money on vaping, and yeh, vapors sometimes can have lingering smell, true. That said, what a dick! I would have said go .... yourself so many times if I were you, but that's probably not a good idea huh.. I don't know. My ex-boyfriend didn't mind it at all, but I have housemates and one of them used to hate on vaping for that same reason, the smell. So I kept on blowing the vapor on her face until she got used to it. Worked, really. Yes it was immature, but I just chose to be selfish when acting otherwise will really, really be a constant inconvenience in my own, well shared, house. Things usually work out when the other person likes you enough to overlook one fallacy. He's your fiance, so he's probably that person.
 

James Wilson

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And that sort of attitude is what makes me want to blow my clouds in people's faces. lol. If you have to put up with the smell of cigs, which I am sure you can easily pick up even when he is down in the basement, he has no room to complain about your vape. I understand some flavors do give some people headaches or they don't like the smell. But honestly I have only had 1 smoker complain about me vaping and that guy was a dick anyways. Try vooping. If he complains ask him if he would rather smell your poop. lol
 

HauntedMyst

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Reality check, people: couples can and do disagree over things

This is true. About 8 months ago, my wife and I were playing that Celebrity game where couples say a 5 celebrities they can have sex with and the other one can't get mad. She could only come up with 3 and I took her extras and made my list 7. Two months ago, I'm on a flight from Chicago to LA and it turns out #7 is sitting next to me. We get to talking, really hit it off after a couple of hours I told her she made my list. Well, she blows my mind and says she is up for it! Well, I was speechless! Then I said, "You are joking right?" She says "No, I think funny men are sexy and I've always wanted to join the mile high club. Meet you in there in 5 mins" and gets up and head to the lou. I am so excited I actually used my credit card on the plane phone and I didn't care it was going to cost me $20 for the call! I called my wife and I was like "Baby, you aren't going to believe it, guess who is here and who is in-to-it?" My wife says "What the hell are you talking about?" I said "The Celebrity game, my number 7 is here and she wants to join the mile high club! Baby, I'm gonna win the game!" You'd think she'd be happy for me. You'd think she'd be supportive. I'm always happy for her when she is winning Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly but no, my wife screams "What? What are you saying you bass turd?" I'm like "What, are you mad it's with number 7? I only took 2 more because you weren't going to use them." So she says "It's not about the number you idiot, you call me to tell me you are going to cheat on me?" And all the while I can hear stuff, my stuff breaking in the background. And I'm like "What? It's part of the game. I don't think you get this game. You are the one who brought up this game which is about celebrities your spouse can have sex with and you can't get mad." She goes into this tirade for 20 mins about about "monogamy" and "fidelity" and "sacred vows" and how it was a joke and how I must not love her, yada, yada, yada and I'm thinking "Well, this doesn't look good for me. Number 7 is waiting, my wife is mad at me for either 1. I could win the game we were playing and mad about me winning (She was never going to get to meet Daniel Craig, be real honey) or 2. if she is mad about the other "monogamy" and "fidelity" stuff and, AND I'm thinking about how this victory phone call is now gonna cost me about $100 and that's when she hung up. So number 7 comes back mad, pours a drink in my lap and tells me she was ready to go all night. Women are confusing. I guess what I am saying is, think your choices through.
 
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Douggro

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You'd think she'd be happy for me. You'd think she'd be supportive. I'm always happy for her when she is winning Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly but no, my wife screams "What? What are you saying you bass turd?" I'm like "What, are you mad it's with number 7? I only took 2 more because you weren't going to use them." So she says "It's not about the number you idiot, you call me to tell me you are going to cheat on me?"
Uuuhhhmmm… wow. Just, ..wow.
 
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Big Me

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This is true. About 8 months ago, my wife and I were playing that Celebrity game where couples say a 5 celebrities they can have sex with and the other one can't get mad. She could only come up with 3 and I took her extras and made my list 7. Two months ago, I'm on a flight from Chicago to LA and it turns out #7 is sitting next to me. We get to talking, really hit it off after a couple of hours I told her she made my list. Well, she blows my mind and says she is up for it! Well, I was speechless! Then I said, "You are joking right?" She says "No, I think funny men are sexy and I've always wanted to join the mile high club. Meet you in there in 5 mins" and gets up and head to the lou. I am so excited I actually used my credit card on the plane phone and I didn't care it was going to cost me $20 for the call! I called my wife and I was like "Baby, you aren't going to believe it, guess who is here and who is in-to-it?" My wife says "What the hell are you talking about?" I said "The Celebrity game, my number 7 is here and she wants to join the mile high club! Baby, I'm gonna win the game!" You'd think she'd be happy for me. You'd think she'd be supportive. I'm always happy for her when she is winning Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly but no, my wife screams "What? What are you saying you bass turd?" I'm like "What, are you mad it's with number 7? I only took 2 more because you weren't going to use them." So she says "It's not about the number you idiot, you call me to tell me you are going to cheat on me?" And all the while I can hear stuff, my stuff breaking in the background. And I'm like "What? It's part of the game. I don't think you get this game. You are the one who brought up this game which is about celebrities your spouse can have sex with and you can't get mad." She goes into this tirade for 20 mins about about "monogamy" and "fidelity" and "sacred vows" and how it was a joke and how I must not love her, yada, yada, yada and I'm thinking "Well, this doesn't look good for me. Number 7 is waiting, my wife is mad at me for either 1. I could win the game we were playing and mad about me winning (She was never going to get to meet Daniel Craig, be real honey) or 2. if she is mad about the other "monogamy" and "fidelity" stuff and, AND I'm thinking about how this victory phone call is now gonna cost me about $100 and that's when she hung up. So number 7 comes back mad, pours a drink in my lap and tells me she was ready to go all night. Women are confusing. I guess what I am saying is, think your choices through.
You are so twisted, Myst :lol: And you wasted time phoning your wife beforehand? Don't you know that it's better to apologise than to seek permission?! :rolleyes:


:p
 

Big Me

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I'm single but if I did have a SO yeah they would probably have a problem with how much vaping costs IMHO, if you want decent PV, couple good sub tanks and decent juices, it actually costs more than smoking in the UK and they cost £9.50p a pack....
A pack a day at £9.50/pack is £66.50 per week - are you saying you can spend that much every week on vaping? Once you've bought a decent mod (£100?) and a couple of tanks (£30 each?) - your only expenses are batteries (every three months or so), coils and juice.

How the heck can you spend £288 a month on coils and juice??? :blink:
 
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