I assume you are talking about the snarky remark, yes ? Definitely NOT the iron rod...!
So, I got screamed at.
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I assume you are talking about the snarky remark, yes ? Definitely NOT the iron rod...!
I've run into quite a bit of this myself, even from former smokers who should certainly know better -- they seem to have this idea that once the cigarettes are gone, they're just GONE, forever -- nevermind how many years or decades one may have invested in learning that behavior, just get rid of the cigarettes and the behavior vanishes, right? WRONG! I smoked for 39 years, so I doubt very seriously if that behavior can EVER be unlearned -- I'd be really surprised if, at 53, I even have 39 yrs of life left to me.
Just tell your grandmother that Carlin joke: "I've got the monkey off my back, but the circus hasn't left town!"
Andria
Another thing that bugs me is the lack of understanding because I was never dependent on cigarettes or smoked them consistently enough that she feels I shouldn't need my vape. As far as she knows I've never smoked cigarettes because she's never seen me smoke them.
I had something like this happen to me once when I was smoking a LONG time ago. Was waiting for my buddy in his truck while he went into a CVS to get a pack of smokes (this was 8 or 9 years ago before vaping). I light up a smoke and proceed to smoke (inside of his truck with the window rolled down. This old man stares at me and says all snarky "smoking kills you know." Now being the naïve and stupid teenager I simply responded "so does old age." And he walked away. Only now do I realize the bad that it had done to my body and the stench alone can make you scream now.
he's a crusty old man that can't be educated
Right there. It's him. Not you. Vape on, Captain!
Right there. It's him. Not you. Vape on, Captain!
This incident is the reason that more information needs to be obtained by the medical community and distributed to the masses. Doctors all over are encouraging their patients to vape instead of smoking. It's all about satisfying the nic urge and the hand to mouth habit.
The public still has that, "We don't know what's in them" mentality, and the "It's the same thing as smoking" fallacy going way too strong. Time will turn that attitude when our government finally issues a statement that says vaping isn't harmful to bystanders in a open area and maybe not in a ventilated indoor scenario.
I'll never forget the time when I had been cooped up in an airplane for hours and deplaned for a layover smoke in Dallas, on the way to Los Angeles. I stepped out into the sunny afternoon smoking area and lit up. A lady passed by 20 feet away with two children. She saw me and wrapped the kids into her overcoat and scowled as she passed hurriedly by. She ignored the kerosene fumes of the hundreds of planes taxiing,m landing, and taking off and zeroed her ire on the only smoker outside on a windy day. Go figure.
The public still has that, "We don't know what's in them" mentality, and the "It's the same thing as smoking" fallacy going way too strong. Time will turn that attitude when our government finally issues a statement that says vaping isn't harmful to bystanders in a open area and maybe not in a ventilated indoor scenario.
I'll never forget the time when I had been cooped up in an airplane for hours and deplaned for a layover smoke in Dallas, on the way to Los Angeles. I stepped out into the sunny afternoon smoking area and lit up. A lady passed by 20 feet away with two children. She saw me and wrapped the kids into her overcoat and scowled as she passed hurriedly by. She ignored the kerosene fumes of the hundreds of planes taxiing,m landing, and taking off and zeroed her ire on the only smoker outside on a windy day. Go figure.
Sometimes, I think that there are some people out there so lonely and miserable that the only way that they can think of to interact with other people is by being obnoxious to them. And I'm really being serious, not hateful when I say that. I used to see it all the time working retail. And it was usually elderly folks, not to stereotype. It used to get under my skin, and then I had a sort of "aha" moment and saw it for what it really was; a sad person acting out their bad feelings on whoever happened to be in front of them at the time. If that old man hadn't had you to scream at, he would probably have screamed at the coffee shop girl for putting too much cream in his latte, or at the bagger at the grocery store for wearing sagging pants and having an earring. Screaming at you (and then complaining to all the people on the bus about how inconsiderate these kids today are and being the center of attention for a while) might be the only meaningful human interaction that he gets in a day.
I wouldn't take it personally, is what I'm saying. You didn't do anything wrong. It was all him, and you were probably just an innocent bystander.
I wouldn't take it personally, is what I'm saying. You didn't do anything wrong. It was all him, and you were probably just an innocent bystander.
I used to see the same thing, when I was a waitress. But all it did for me was make me DETERMINED to never again have a job serving the public -- too many of them are obnoxious.
Andria
Good job holding your ground Captain Lady....
I was at the casino (smoking allowed) the other day....and at a machine with nobody on my side and couild see this guy on the other side of the bank of machines.....after a few vapes this guy stands up and yells at me "can't you blow your sig smoke upwards at least"......I said (holding up my Provari/Kayfun)...don't smoke, I vape nicotine....he looks at me in aww and says "smells like a fine cigar"...hmmm almost a compliment......I say "must be someone on your side".....he still looks at me in aww and sits down....
this is in a smoking allowed casino and I should have put him in his place but he was just a goober and I let it go....doh.....people
I was at the casino (smoking allowed) the other day....and at a machine with nobody on my side and couild see this guy on the other side of the bank of machines.....after a few vapes this guy stands up and yells at me "can't you blow your sig smoke upwards at least"......I said (holding up my Provari/Kayfun)...don't smoke, I vape nicotine....he looks at me in aww and says "smells like a fine cigar"...hmmm almost a compliment......I say "must be someone on your side".....he still looks at me in aww and sits down....
this is in a smoking allowed casino and I should have put him in his place but he was just a goober and I let it go....doh..
...people
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While I def agree with your statement about the damage cigarettes do to your body and that it does reak to me now (smoked for 20 years) I'm truly of the mind-set that every illicit/illegal substance should be legal. Think about it...It's your meat. As long as you aren't robbing, stealing, killing etc to get what you want/need why does any1 give a ....? Some people just want to tell other people what they can and can't do. As long as you aren't affecting me I don't care. I mean, if some1 finds that they can get high smoking plutonium, have at it (just do it in a sealed chamber and keep the fallout away from me if you would be so kind) Other than that, I find it odd that people actively go looking for problems (which is what the old person that babbled at you and the 1 that yelled @ Captainlady were doing) More than enough problems will come our way without instigating. Seems to me that you could be on a boat (by yourself) in the middle of the ocean and some1 will parachute in to tell you that cigarettes are bad for your health....REALLY? I was completely in the dark on that subject matter.
BTW, the spouse and I looked at some pics of the mess in Buffalo last night...Sympathies, condolences, and I hope your windows/doors don't bust in! His sister lives in Alpena, MI, and we're kinda wondering what kinda mess they have there. It's on the west side of the lake rather than east, but I know how snowed-in Milwaukee can get, and they're on the west side of a lake too.
Andria
Milwaukee ?
I was born and raised there myself. Hamilton H.S. wife went to wisco
One of the most compelling reasons for migrating south is how much I hated slogging around in snow and slush for what seems like half the year. I hate snow and shoveling the damn stuff all the time.
And Tennessee was a much more beautiful and safe place to raise my children too.
Not to mention the roads down here are just too perfect for someone who enjoys sport rideing the twisties, such as deals gap or the cherahola. Georgia has some fine roads worth exploring too.
Milwaukee ?
I was born and raised there myself. Hamilton H.S. wife went to wisco
One of the most compelling reasons for migrating south is how much I hated slogging around in snow and slush for what seems like half the year. I hate snow and shoveling the damn stuff all the time.
And Tennessee was a much more beautiful and safe place to raise my children too.
Not to mention the roads down here are just too perfect for someone who enjoys sport rideing the twisties, such as deals gap or the cherahola. Georgia has some fine roads worth exploring too.
My ex was from Milwaukee, and we visited his family there one year for Hannukah/xmas, and I got to see for myself the perfect illustration of the reason he gave when I asked him why he moved to ATL -- "I was tired of being up to my [....] in snow!"
I swear, if you blunder off the shoveled paths, they really won't find you till spring! Nice there in the summer, though; he took me to see SummerFest one year. I love summers up north, they're just so much more pleasant than 90 degrees, 90 percent humidity, from May till September. I lived in the Detroit/Pontiac environs for 5 yrs, and summer, as I would define it, lasts about 2 wks -- the last half of July.
The rest of the summer season felt like spring to me. Andria
Since several others took a wild guess at what this dude's problem was, I'll just throw out a theory of my own. Equally plausible is that the guy might suffer from some sort of mental distress like PTSD or severe anxiety, which can cause inappropriate outbursts exactly as described in the OP. He may simply have run out of his medication, or even been given the wrong dosage. Whether he was mentally ill or just a jerk, I think the OP handled it very well.
I had a similar experience on a bus, once. An older, obviously homeless and mentally ill woman got on and started shouting at everyone. Naturally, she came over and sat right in front of me, still shouting and calling people names. She looked over and directed all her anger at me. I wasn't vaping or doing anything but just sitting there. As she started her tirade against me, I looked her in the eye and smiled warmly and sweetly at her. She smiled back, involuntarily it seemed, and stopped yelling for the duration of the ride.
My point is that not everyone who yells at others is doing so because they really want to. And that sometimes, a smile and a friendly gaze can make a world of difference to someone with emotional problems.
I had a similar experience on a bus, once. An older, obviously homeless and mentally ill woman got on and started shouting at everyone. Naturally, she came over and sat right in front of me, still shouting and calling people names. She looked over and directed all her anger at me. I wasn't vaping or doing anything but just sitting there. As she started her tirade against me, I looked her in the eye and smiled warmly and sweetly at her. She smiled back, involuntarily it seemed, and stopped yelling for the duration of the ride.
My point is that not everyone who yells at others is doing so because they really want to. And that sometimes, a smile and a friendly gaze can make a world of difference to someone with emotional problems.
As a conservative libertarian, I wholeheartedly agree. Just so long as the decision is an educated one. As a nurse, I've had many patients refuse things. This is well within there right. However, I would be remiss if I didn't tell them the consequences of their decision, which I did, If they still refused, then, so be it. They are adults. As adults we should have the right to choose what we want to do and don't want to do.
This !!
I used to work at an hotel, some fourteen years ago. Man...!
Some people reeeeealy sucked! And what really made me mad, is that just because you are serving at a table, people ASSUME that you have not studied, for example. So, they did it with us because they ASSUMED we were inferior to them.
I mean, I did not see employees at a bank, for example, getting the same treatment from the bank's costumers. Or at a doctor's office...
But, when it comes to a restaurant, costumers will often treat you as if you were THEIR inferior employee. Some of those people are so mean, it looks like they are fullfilling some kind of twisted fantasy where they're healthy enough to actually HAVE a staff of employees, and powerful enough to mistreat them at their own leisure... I had enough of that BS too.
Man, waitressing is a whole other universe when it comes to obnoxious humans! I've done it, and unless things were to get super desperate, I'd never do it again for that reason! It takes a special kind of personality to do that job, and I don't have it.
I found many times in retail, though, that those customers who were being obnoxious because they were hurt/lonely sometimes all it took was me being nice to them regardless and their whole demeanor changed. Not always, because some people are just awful. But there was a certain type, and you could pick up on it by just watching them, that just really needed attention. They had chosen to get that attention by acting out angrily, because negative attention is still attention but if I'd give them positive attention (calling them by name because they were almost always regulars, asking them how they were as soon as they got in the door before they had time to figure out something to get worked up about, smiling at them) they changed their attitude completely. Some of them became great customers who would come by and drop cash every other day on something because they knew someone there would be nice to them and pay attention to them for a little bit. Some of the "worst" customers that I used to dread to see coming became some of the best customers, and even though I haven't worked at that store in 5 years, they still come up to me when they see me around town and say hello.
My last waitress job was at a Denny's, on the graveyard shift, directly off Atlanta's main "strip joint" strip. At first, I truly hated it when the bars would close at 4am, and in would come all the drunks -- some of them are funny, but most are just obnoxious; all the way from screaming if they didn't get everything they wanted 5 seconds before they thought of it, to "grabby hands" types over-excited by the nudie bars.
But then I started noticing something: the really, REALLY drunk ones often dropped money under the tables, and were too drunk to notice it. Sometimes it would be a whole wad of ones, since they'd just come from stripper heaven, but now and then, a $5 or $10 bill. Once this phenomenon became clear to me, I welcomed those drunks happily, and the drunker, the better -- because even if they "forgot" to tip me... they'd left me a little something under the table that they didn't even know about.
Andria
That was my first job out of high school…graveyard at a Denny's. It was in a pretty small town though, nowhere near as busy or as scary as Atlanta. I can just imagine that crowd was rough, I'm sure you hated dealing with them. Drunks do love to drop money, though. I financed an entire weekend of debauchery in New Orleans once pretty much just by keeping my eyes on the sidewalk on Bourbon Street.
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