Certainly!
Our installation technician is at lunch right now but I'm certain he can work with you to find a way to get your M-Tech batteries installed as soon as possible!
The best batteries in the world...M-Tech
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Certainly!
Our installation technician is at lunch right now but I'm certain he can work with you to find a way to get your M-Tech batteries installed as soon as possible!
You need telescoping batteries that increase in power with length.
You tell me this after we sell out to a big corporation?!?
Hmm...great idea though...
We have brought on a new SUPER consultant and after our longest R&D program ever we are proud to announce a radical improvement in battery technology. Forget that old school M-Tech stuff, you need a Tele-Mooch battery!
What's so innovative about a Tele-Mooch battery? We weld together as many batteries as you need to meet your high power vaping needs. And, for you ultra-low resistance coil builders, our battery can be used as a walking stick, cane, or even a baseball bat if you order our triple-parallel 26650 battery! Just tell us how many sets of these three paralleled batteries you want welded together. That's right, we offer custom lengths for all of our batteries!
And it's going to cost at least twice as much as any of those old dinosaur M-Tech batteries so you can imagine how well these will perform!
Our SUPER consultant is not sitting back and reveling in the brilliance of this Tele-Mooch technology. Ohhhhh no. He's working on the next generation of Tele-Mooch technology right now. We call it Next Generation Tele-Mooch Technology. Clever, huh?
Each battery consists of several high capacity Li-Ion tubes, so cleverly designed that they appear to be just common steel tubes, eached placed within the other with a Tele-Mooch 18650 battery in the middle. Just extend the tubes to match your power requirements! The performance of these batteries is expected to to be so high that no one could possibly afford them. But we're willing to work with you to make your vaping dreams come true. Real estate donations, indentured servitude, and many other options are available!
Hmm...great idea though...
We have brought on a new SUPER consultant and after our longest R&D program ever we are proud to announce a radical improvement in battery technology. Forget that old school M-Tech stuff, you need a Tele-Mooch battery!
What's so innovative about a Tele-Mooch battery? We weld together as many batteries as you need to meet your high power vaping needs. And, for you ultra-low resistance coil builders, our battery can be used as a walking stick, cane, or even a baseball bat if you order our triple-parallel 26650 battery! Just tell us how many sets of these three paralleled batteries you want welded together. That's right, we offer custom lengths for all of our batteries!
And it's going to cost at least twice as much as any of those old dinosaur M-Tech batteries so you can imagine how well these will perform!
Our SUPER consultant is not sitting back and reveling in the brilliance of this Tele-Mooch technology. Ohhhhh no. He's working on the next generation of Tele-Mooch technology right now. We call it Next Generation Tele-Mooch Technology. Clever, huh?
Each battery consists of several high capacity Li-Ion tubes, so cleverly designed that they appear to be just common steel tubes, eached placed within the other with a Tele-Mooch 18650 battery in the middle. Just extend the tubes to match your power requirements! The performance of these batteries is expected to to be so high that no one could possibly afford them. But we're willing to work with you to make your vaping dreams come true. Real estate donations, indentured servitude, and many other options are available!
You crack me up mooch 
Can I suggest that you get your design people to incorporate flames into the logo for your battery product line. I hear it adds an air of power and authority to a product.
*cough...
Can I suggest that you get your design people to incorporate flames into the logo for your battery product line. I hear it adds an air of power and authority to a product.
*cough...
AWESOME! That would go great in my telescoping Maraxus Mech!
Oak barrel aging?? SIGN ME UP! Does this mean well have 10/12/15/18 year old options?? Cause if drinking scotch has taught me anything, the older the better!
Well now that they telesope I'll just take one. I can use it for both my car and my Abrhams
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
sweet! so how do we charge these bad boys? microwave for 60sec? that sounds too long. cant we just throw them into a bathtub with a running toaster?
We actually recommend a hair dryer, toasters tend to leave crumbs which can affect the bath water's taste. Hair dryers must have their GFCI removed to function properly in a bathtub environment.sweet! so how do we charge these bad boys? microwave for 60sec? that sounds too long. cant we just throw them into a bathtub with a running toaster?
In other news, we've consulted with M-Tech on a new line of depleted uranium power cells. We obtained two connex loads of earth from Prypiat and we've successfully filled empty battery shells with the earth. These cells will be a once a lifetime purchase and come with a lifetime warranty. If for any reason your battery fails, we'll send you a ziplock baggie full of high radiation earth, simply dump the old earth in the local water supply to render it inert, and refill your cell tube.
Stay tuned for release dates and more exciting products.
Mooch, your consultants are dimwitted. Fire them all immediately.
Obviously what we need is a revolutionary battery, not simply under priced stacking flame sticks capable of delivering hyper voltage while burning holes through metal decking.
So here it is:
"Juice powered cells. Vent your battery? No problem! Just refill it with high nic juice, seal the hole with scotch tape, and pop it on your recovery charger (at the 200A rate). A little bubbling during the recovery process is normal, just wipe up the mess. After only 4 hours charging, the battery will be ready for use on your 3mOhm coil."
"Still not sold? We haven't revealed the best part yet! Series Stacking increases the output voltage AND current limit Exponentially! So once six batteries have been stacked, you can use your juice itself as a coil, no resistance wire needed!"
"Every battery manufacturer is scrambling to replicate our unpatentable design, but until they do, expect to find our batteries re wrapped with such infamous names as Rony, Sam Chung, Hamasonic and Ell Ji for prices so much lower than ours that you'll know there's something wrong with them."
" All from the TrueFire division of Mooch Overpriced Battery Authentic Not Just Rewraps Inc."
C'mon and join the right side, Mooch.
Obviously what we need is a revolutionary battery, not simply under priced stacking flame sticks capable of delivering hyper voltage while burning holes through metal decking.
So here it is:
"Juice powered cells. Vent your battery? No problem! Just refill it with high nic juice, seal the hole with scotch tape, and pop it on your recovery charger (at the 200A rate). A little bubbling during the recovery process is normal, just wipe up the mess. After only 4 hours charging, the battery will be ready for use on your 3mOhm coil."
"Still not sold? We haven't revealed the best part yet! Series Stacking increases the output voltage AND current limit Exponentially! So once six batteries have been stacked, you can use your juice itself as a coil, no resistance wire needed!"
"Every battery manufacturer is scrambling to replicate our unpatentable design, but until they do, expect to find our batteries re wrapped with such infamous names as Rony, Sam Chung, Hamasonic and Ell Ji for prices so much lower than ours that you'll know there's something wrong with them."
" All from the TrueFire division of Mooch Overpriced Battery Authentic Not Just Rewraps Inc."
C'mon and join the right side, Mooch.
While we find the submission of your resumé to be unorthodox, that's perfect!
Please report to our MMA (Mooch Martial Arts) arena where we ask our potential consultants to submit themselves, and their resumés, to the 3-round elimination process for landing one of the coveted consulting positions here at Mooch-Tech.
Please report to our MMA (Mooch Martial Arts) arena where we ask our potential consultants to submit themselves, and their resumés, to the 3-round elimination process for landing one of the coveted consulting positions here at Mooch-Tech.
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