Q: What's worse than one alligator coming to dinner? A: Two alligators coming to dinner
The Joke Tread!
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Q: Why are alligators comedians so funny? A: Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Betty had eyes that said come here, lips that said kiss me, arms and torso that said hold me all night long, but the rest of her body said, Fillet me, cover me in cornmeal, and fry me in peanut oil; romance wasnt easy for a mermaid.
A couple buys this cute little dog. They take him home and two days later the dog becomes very lazy. It wont eat, doesnt bark, heck it doesnt even move at all.
So the couple decides to take the dog to the Vet. The Vet looks at the dog and then lays it on the floor. He then brings a cat into the room and sets it beside the dog. The cat crawls all over the dog for several minutes and then runs around the dog four times before the Vet picks up the cat and puts him back in his cage.
The Vet then turns to the couple and says, Im sorry to tell you this, but your dog is dead Thatll be $225.00.
$225.00?, screamed the outraged man. You expect me to pay you that much just to tell me my dog is dead?
The Vet replied, Its only $25.00 for the office visit and $200.00 for the Cat Scan.
So the couple decides to take the dog to the Vet. The Vet looks at the dog and then lays it on the floor. He then brings a cat into the room and sets it beside the dog. The cat crawls all over the dog for several minutes and then runs around the dog four times before the Vet picks up the cat and puts him back in his cage.
The Vet then turns to the couple and says, Im sorry to tell you this, but your dog is dead Thatll be $225.00.
$225.00?, screamed the outraged man. You expect me to pay you that much just to tell me my dog is dead?
The Vet replied, Its only $25.00 for the office visit and $200.00 for the Cat Scan.
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
How do Mexicans slice their pizza?
They use Little Caesars
C'mon, say it out loud!
They use Little Caesars
C'mon, say it out loud!
LOL!! I have that one in my "collection"...
And there's always this one, too!!
Oh, those naughty kitties...
Hahahahaha! I have never seen the second cat! That is too funny...adding to my collection! Thanks!
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