The Twisted Wish Game

[Sundrinkr]

Poof! You have won a new mod

I wish I knew then what I know now....

 

[Anthony-Usa_OH]

your wish has came true, but you spend every second trying to change the things for the positive. But the past mistakes are nothing compared to the choices that you have changed that will ultimately be even worse then the past.

I wish that life was easier.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You're in a hospital, there's a cast going from head to toe and your limbs are hoisted up by a winch and pulley rig. You just have to remember to keep breathing, don't knock out your IV tubes and don't clench when you get your daily enema. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

I wish older movies that haven't aged gracefully would return with digitally added gratuitous nudity to make them more interesting. Sorta like colorization revived old black-and-white movies, eh?

(Ok, so I'm kind of running low on new wish ideas....)

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted. The muppet movies a re-released featuring an all nude cast. After seeing what Kermit has to croak about it finally becomes obvious why Miss Piggy has such a fixation also explains why the 2 old guys in the balcony are so cranky - but hey it IS cold up there

I wish I could think of more wishes.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila!!!! You think of more wishes but they cannot be fulfilled as your greatest wish, a soulmate for life, has been granted....

Awwwww......

I wish I could see another planet before I die.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted! A business trip runs short and you end up with an entire day in a hotel room with nothing to do. You get free access to the porn on the hotel tv. So, you're wondering whether an unusual auto-erotic act is humanly possible and you just happen to have a jumbo-sized bottle of Robaxacet in order to find out. To make a long story short, you have to be ambulance-assisted out of your room with a permanent view of "Uranus".

I wish my computer had more memory.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* Your computer now has more memory...of the things you do...your history can not be deleted, temp internet files clog your drive up and every program becomes a TSR, making the BSOD for OOME's an hourly occurence.

I wish I didn't want that provari from the GV contest....

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You win a Provari from the GV contest. Then you accidentally drop it through the seat of a close-to-overflowing outhouse in a near, outdoor chili cook-off festival, emergency. And now you don't want that Provari so much anymore.

I wish I was growing more hair on my head and less hair everywhere else.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*POOF* You are now a hairless bat who looks like cousin IT! It graws so fast that you have to hire a full time barber to keep it manageable and keep from tripping on it all the time. On the plus side, you never need tie downs for all the bondage acts you perform since you can just use your hair.

I wish the goblins would come and take you away...right now!




Sorry...Hands will wash....going for it anyway...definately replacing the drip tip though...I will let you know about the tank....

Poof! Wish granted. You win a Provari from the GV contest. Then you accidentally drop it through the seat of a close-to-overflowing outhouse in a near, outdoor chili cook-off festival, emergency. And now you don't want that Provari so much anymore.

I wish I was growing more hair on my head and less hair everywhere else.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Sorry...Hands will wash....going for it anyway...definately replacing the drip tip though...I will let you know about the tank....

Poof! Wish granted. You win a Provari from the GV contest. Then you accidentally drop it through the seat of a close-to-overflowing outhouse in a near, outdoor chili cook-off festival, emergency. And now you don't want that Provari so much anymore.

I wish I was growing more hair on my head and less hair everywhere else.

I hope you realize that Provaris are denser than "port-a-potty juice". You're going to get your head and shoulders soiled at the very least. Good luck with that.

I wish the goblins would come and take you away...right now!

Poof! Wish granted. Goblins have whisked me away, apparently to be some kind of sex slave. Fortunately, they only last about 20 seconds on average. They're keeping me well fed and I get high-speed internet as long as I behave. So, all in all, it's not too terrible and I get to continue spending lots of time in this forum, twisting wishes, being generally disgusting, etc..

I wish someone would publish a newer testament for the bible. You'd think it was past due and I have no idea what God's really been up to for the last 2,000 years.

 

[440BB]

Wow, I had to get some bleach to clean the mold off this thread...

Now back to business -

POOF! Bobsyeruncle finds the New Millennium Testament sitting right next to the coffee one morning, but on top of it is a handwritten note saying "Go out in the world and the answers will be revealed to you, Bob, then write them in this book and tell every person in the world."

I wish I could win the Mega Millions, just once.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You win the Mega Millions! Woo hoo! Unfortunately, thanks to a computer glitch, you and 999,999 other people are now exactly $1 richer. Don't spend it all in one place!

Don't bother spending it on another lottery ticket, either. You'll never win the Mega Millions again.

I wish I had the new iPad.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted you have the new iPad maxi with wings - you'll never have to worry about those embarrassing wet spots again


I wish I could see the future

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted! Your wife gives the the complete Star Trek series on Blu-Ray. Now if only you could stay alive long enough to experience the future for yourself.

The .......s who wrote the show didn't even bother to give you the next few Superbowl scores, winning lottery numbers or anything.

I wish my cell phone would charge in seconds instead of hours.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You new cell battery will charge in just seconds, but that is also how long your standby time is.

I wish my SS LT would ship NOW!

 

[beebopnjazz]

"shazaam!" Your SS LT has shipped! Unfortunately the zip code was wrong and it's on it's way to "Uranus"

I wish there was a "snark" button on ECF

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Unfortunately, the "snark" button brings the E-Cigarette Forum to its knees every time its used. I'm trying to read your snarky comment, but.... if I could just .... get.... the....friggin'.... page....to .....finish..............loading.

I wish pie satisfied all of my daily nutritional requirements.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*poof* wish granted, but unfortunately you dont like the taste of the nutritional "Assorted meats and veggie's" gerber pie.

I wish coffee would just brew itself

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted its called a Keurig machine

I wish I knew all the answers

 

[beebopnjazz]

**poof** you now have all the answers - unfortunately, you don't have all of the questions.....leaving you totally clueless

I wish my cat would shut up....non-stop talker that one....