Today's Laugh

[5cardstud]

Not Me Buddy. I saw through that guy the first time he ran. He might be a nice guy but he hasn't a clue about running a country. The sad part is if he would of been white he wouldn't have gotten elected so he wasn';t voted in because of his qualifications but for his race and that isn't the criteria you should be looking at for a president.

Isaac I think he was the funniest comedian there was. It came natural to him.

 

[SuZamme]

Not Me Buddy. I saw through that guy the first time he ran. He might be a nice guy but he hasn't a clue about running a country. The sad part is if he would of been white he wouldn't have gotten elected so he wasn';t voted in because of his qualifications but for his race and that isn't the criteria you should be looking at for a president.

Isaac I think he was the funniest comedian there was. It came natural to him.

Hey, do you have any jokes about who the Republicans might possibly run in 2016?

 

[SuZamme]

Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, George Carlin, Jonathan Winters, Robin Williams...The main reason I can think of where I hope there is a heaven where we all can hang out.

 

[Switched]

Not Me Buddy. I saw through that guy the first time he ran. He might be a nice guy but he hasn't a clue about running a country. The sad part is if he would of been white he wouldn't have gotten elected so he wasn';t voted in because of his qualifications but for his race and that isn't the criteria you should be looking at for a president.

Isaac I think he was the funniest comedian there was. It came natural to him.

Doesn't really matter anyway, they are just puppets, regardless who runs it is the same agenda that is going to be pushed through

They used to have a fit on Mork and Mindy, he was always going off script but circling the wagons always returning on script. It drove them nuts in the beginning but admired his brilliance when they got used to him IMHO there is no writer that can hold a candle to Robin His wit willdefinitely be missed

 

[5cardstud]

Hey, do you have any jokes about who the Republicans might possibly run in 2016?

I think that's the biggest reason we end up with bad presidents. Both parties have had winners and losers but when people quit voting party lines, who their friends or favorite actor voted for, race or gender, or any other reason but the candidates qualifications to do the job we're going to continue to see bad presidents.
That's like if you put someone in charge of your money because they are the correct party or color or gendor instead of whether they're honest or thieves.

 

[5cardstud]

Doesn't really matter anyway, they are just puppets, regardless who runs it is the same agenda that is going to be pushed through

True so true but every once in awile you get one that has enough backbone and intelligence to buck the establishment and they get something done for the country like Ronald Reagan.

 

[5cardstud]

One day Barack Obama was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."

The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"

"I'll personally hand it to you," said Mr. Obama.

"I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.

"I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said the grateful defender of the Western Hemisphere.

"And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.

"I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!"

"No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning."

 

[Ozwald]

Obama.


Sorry, that was the biggest joke I could think of.

 

[Katdarling]

ahahhahahahahaah! Love it Studders!

And Oz..... I believe that's pronounced Nobama.

 

[5cardstud]

ahahhahahahahaah! Love it Studders!

And Oz..... I believe that's pronounced Nobama.

No I believe It's called Osama Bin Dumbama.

 

[5cardstud]

Obama.


Sorry, that was the biggest joke I could think of.

I believe that ones been told. Post #733

 

[Ozwald]

This is a forum, you expect me to read stuff? Pfft to you good sir, pfft.

ETA: Besides it's still the biggest joke around... and still very far from being funny.

 

[5cardstud]

This is a forum, you expect me to read stuff? Pfft to you good sir, pfft.

ETA: Besides it's still the biggest joke around... and still very far from being funny.

I'm with you on that Oz. That joke needs to be told over and over but here's an even bigger joke. He still has people that believe in him. We are going to fight the Islamic Extremists whether it's here or over there but this...what some people call a president gives out the news about the beheading and then what do you think he does? Right, goes back to the golf course to play more golf. He is letting these extremists get more powerful by the day and I fear the next attack on our turf is going to make 911 look like a lovers quarrel. He hasn't got the sense god gave a goose. I'll be so glad when we get a president in office again.

 

[Ozwald]

You've got more faith than I do. For a long time now we get someone in office & I think, well at least it can't get any worse... then it does. And when that idiot goes up for re-election, it's almost like it's fixed [tinfoil hat]. Anybody would be better than this guy... except the one running against him.

 

[SuZamme]

I agree that a strong leader is important to our entire country.
Who would you suggest?

It's easy to take potshots/cut&paste others jokes at the current leaders, congress, etc.
How about going to the trouble of coming up with options for the future elections.

NOTE: Today's Laugh is suppose to be funny and we seemed to have steered into the dark and smelly waters of politics.

You can't fix stupid but you can vote it out!
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often and for the same reasons.
Voting is like driving a car: Choose R to move backward. Choose D to move forward.

 

[5cardstud]

Suzzy You are so right and on more than one point. This is the laughs thread and all this political garbage needs to be in the outside lounge thread. For that I apologize. On your other point here's my biggest beef. People like Obama get into office for any other reason but their qualifications. If they done away with the political parties that would take care of the biggest reason. But they get votes because of their political affiliation or their race, gender, because that's who their favorite actors are voting for or their friends are voting for. All those are great reasons to vote for the person that's going to lead this country isn't it? Not only that, once the nominee gets into office he/she is controlled by their party. Who do I think could lead this country you ask? I think it has to be a person that works for the wants and needs of the people not just their party. The other party are Americans too. It has to be someone that has enough guts to tell all those string pullers to take a hike because he/she works for the people not them. He/She also has to have enough sense to know that the world is a terrible place now and that the biggest threat is from all those muslim extremists groups that want all other religions off the face of the earth and are getting stronger every yr. No one likes war but the little ones you fight for freedom and backing the countries that backed us are easier to fight than the one that's coming here if we don't remain vigilant. You're not going to find answers to those problems on the golf course. People and me would love it if we lived in a nice peaceful world where wars didn't need to be fought but we don't. So to get back to the question we need someone that will look after those interests for us, all us instead of someone that just does what they think they can, play golf, and give nothing but excuses for why these bad organizations that want us off this earth are getting more powerful and taking over more and more parts of the world to obtain enough power to gain world dominance. We don't need a yes man we need a leader. Or in other words "QUALIFIED TO DO THE JOB".
And that is the last political stuff I'll post in this thread. Please accept my profound apology for doing so. Good thing I'm not running the country.

 

[Iken]

 

[Ozwald]

 

[Electricnut]

OH HELL ! ... Let's Offend Everybody !

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
A. To a different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong .

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Afro-Americans on Star Trek?
A . Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
A. A northern fairy tale begins, ....'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairy tale begin s,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this .....'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

 

[5cardstud]

I agree that a strong leader is important to our entire country.
Who would you suggest?

It's easy to take potshots/cut&paste others jokes at the current leaders, congress, etc.
How about going to the trouble of coming up with options for the future elections.

NOTE: Today's Laugh is suppose to be funny and we seemed to have steered into the dark and smelly waters of politics.

You can't fix stupid but you can vote it out!
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often and for the same reasons.
Voting is like driving a car: Choose R to move backward. Choose D to move forward.

We have a strong leader. He's always first at the golf course and has a very strong swing. Oh and he strongly apposes a Christian Nation.