Wife has turned on me. Need best 2 pieces of pro-vape/nic science.

[redddog]

We both used to smoke. She used to always say that if they ever found a safe cigarette, she'd smoke again. I'm like "they found it! It's called a vaporizer!"

I started vaping late into my son's illness when the walls were caving in and have no doubt that I would have started smoking cigarettes since we lost him.

I'm gonna have to agree with Boden. I may be screwed.

 

[redddog]

I also agree with this to an extent but didn't want to say it....

I'm sure most are thinking this but divorce is not in the cards. She's the greatest person I've ever known and (outside of this annoyance) the best wife ever.

Her point is all because she's worried. I don't think she's just breaking my balls.

 

[Boden]

You gotta pick your fights. Since you only vape casually I'd keep the Vape gear around for when it is necessary to keep you off smokes.

Maybe challenge her to keep you "distracted" from vaping at night.

 

[redddog]

You gotta pick your fights. Since you only Vape casually I'd keep the Vape gear around for when it is necessary to keep you off smokes.

Maybe challenge her to keep you "distracted" from vaping at night.

Yeah, she's pretty good in that department, Boden. This is a complicated one.

 

[Nivek13]

I'm sure most are thinking this but divorce is not in the cards. She's the greatest person I've ever known and (outside of this annoyance) the best wife ever.

Her point is all because she's worried. I don't think she's just breaking my balls.

Never said you should divorce love is love trust me i understand.....i wish you luck brother!!

 

[VNeil]

This may sound harsh but it sounds to me like you have allowed someone else to have complete control of YOUR life. If she loved you, truly loved you, instead of wanting to control you, she would allow you to be you.

Pardon me but I am just an old lady that just doesn't understand this mentality.

^^^^ The Ultimate Truth

 

[Hans Wermhat]

you have allowed someone else to have complete control of YOUR life.

This is exactly how some people seem to define marriage. And some men are ok with it. I let my ol' lady have some slack on this issue, but there are times when I have to put my foot down to maintain my sense of self.

 

[Hans Wermhat]

Sorry to hear about your youngin' buddy. That sucks. I can't imagine how lost I would be if I lost my baby girl. Relationships are all about compromise. When tragedy strikes, though, sometimes we forget that others have feelings and needs and draw into ourselves. If you love her, talk to her and try to find a solution that works for both of you. If she loves you she will listen and work with you on it. You just need to find the right words to get her listen to you. Best of luck to you and again, my condolences.

 

[AndriaD]

I'm so sorry t hear about your pending divorce. Lol! But seriously. My ol' lady HATES and I mean HATES the fact that I vape. She witches about it constantly as she sucks down a pack of Misty's a day. The best advice I can offer you is to go to the cabinet and find all of her favorite foods. Look at the ingredients list. Find anything that she loves to eat that contains propylene glycol , vegetable glyceryn, or artificial flavors. Start throwing them in the trash can. When she asks you WTH you are doing, say something to the effect of "These things all contain the same things that are in my e-juice. If they are unhealthy, we need to get rid of them. I can't stand to watch you eat anything that is so dangerous to you, honey." You may want to install a bomb shelter in the basement first, but it should get the point across.

I'd have to go along with the divorce idea -- my ex was a smoker hater -- that's one of the reasons he's my ex.

And also, you could just say, "oh well then, guess I'll have to go back to smoking." This worked well on my husband when he gave me the "you do that ALL the time" crap... I just said "DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK TO SMOKING????" at about 100dB; he shut the hell up about how often I vape.

Once someone really knows that the choice is between smoking and vaping, NOT vaping or not vaping, usually they settle down. If not... condolences on the divorce, but people that determined to get their way just can't be lived with.

Andria

 

[AndriaD]

This may sound harsh but it sounds to me like you have allowed someone else to have complete control of YOUR life. If she loved you, truly loved you, instead of wanting to control you, she would allow you to be you.

Pardon me but I am just an old lady that just doesn't understand this mentality.

This too -- another reason my ex is an ex -- a spouse DOES NOT have the right to control your entire life. Those are control freaks, and again, they just can't be lived with; they need to be marooned on a desert island somewhere where they can't bother the rest of the world.

Marriage is "for better or for worse" -- that doesn't mean that one spouse gets to control the other to "make them better."

Marriage counseling might be a good place to start, to rid her of this unfortunate and antisocial tendency.

Andria

 

[Hans Wermhat]

I posted what I posted before I saw the part about your loss. Up to that point I agreed whole-heartedly with the posts above. But I understand better than some how tragedy can affect some people. Your wife lost something and she couldn't keep it from happening. Now she feels like she has lost control of everything. It's pretty common. Her way of coping is to try to control as much of the rest of her life as she can. Y'all lost a child, so now she is worried about losing you and is hypersensitive to the idea. Keep that in mind as you figure out what you want to do. Love takes patience. Just don't lose yourself in her sorrow... if that makes sense.

 

[Boden]

This too -- another reason my ex is an ex -- a spouse DOES NOT have the right to control your entire life. Those are control freaks, and again, they just can't be lived with; they need to be marooned on a desert island somewhere where they can't bother the rest of the world.

Marriage is "for better or for worse" -- that doesn't mean that one spouse gets to control the other to "make them better."

Marriage counseling might be a good place to start, to rid her of this unfortunate and antisocial tendency.

Andria

I'm sorry you had bad experiences but no need to project them into someone else's situation.

 

[Boden]

I posted what I posted before I saw the part about your loss. Up to that point I agreed whole-heartedly with the posts above. But I understand better than some how tragedy can affect some people. Your wife lost something and she couldn't keep it from happening. Now she feels like she has lost control of everything. It's pretty common. Her way of coping is to try to control as much of the rest of her life as she can. Y'all lost a child, so now she is worried about losing you and is hypersensitive to the idea. Keep that in mind as you figure out what you want to do. Love takes patience. Just don't lose yourself in her sorrow... if that makes sense.

Since I could only hit the like button once.

Like, like, like, like, etc

 

[NoFumus]

I like this video, 4+ minutes and research-driven, "The truth about Vaping; The Nicotine Misconception" It's one of a series that are quite compelling IMO.

 

[mattiem]

We both used to smoke. She used to always say that if they ever found a safe cigarette, she'd smoke again. I'm like "they found it! It's called a vaporizer!"

I started vaping late into my son's illness when the walls were caving in and have no doubt that I would have started smoking cigarettes since we lost him.

I'm gonna have to agree with Boden. I may be screwed.

My first post in this thread might have been a bit different had you added this very important point to your first post. I truly am sorry to hear of your loss. I still stand by my statement but will add that it seems you have found a way to cope and hopefully she will understand and will support you as it seems you are supporting her. There has to be some give and take in a marriage.

This is coming from someone that has been married to the same man for 35 years. He loves riding his motorcycle. I am on pins and needles each time he takes off on it but he doesn't know that. We all need our own space and we each need to respect that space. I hope you both will find a happy medium.

 

[redddog]

I'm still vaping, gang. It's just gotten to the point where it's a bit of an argument every time. Now she accuses me of sending her to bed early (when she's been asleep on the couch for 20 minutes, BTW) and it gets weird. It's her opinion but there hasn't been an ultimatum. She's worried is all. And I want to ease her worry with some quality and irrefutable science. It's not a pissing match or a battle or reason to leave someone. She's misinformed about an issue that people are saying will cause physical harm. NEITHER of us do well with that.

She's not controling or demanding in the least. In fact, she's the nicest most considerate person I know.

Just looking for the right articles to show her that outline how essentially harmless vaping is. Especially the little amount I do it.

 

[GrandSam]

Do what my uncle did. Start packing up your vaping gear. Make sure to do this while your wife is watching. She will likely applaud you for doing what she requested. Smile and tell her it's your pleasure. Grab your keys and tell her you'll be back. When she asks why, say "I'm going to go grab a pack of cigarettes"
Let's see how she feels about vaping then.

Disclaimer: The aforementioned advice will likely get you killed, mutilated, thrown off a cliff, kicked in the man-parts, divorced, disowned, disemboweled, pushed out of a moving aircraft, or a combination of all. Proceed at your own risk.

 

[Hans Wermhat]

but he doesn't know that.

Sure he does... it's just one of his pleasures and he knows you are supportive of that premise, even if it scares you to death. Lol!

 

[Nivek13]

I wish i had or knew of something to help you out, unfortunately its an ongoing debate and to be fair (at least in my mind) vaping has not been out long enough to know any type of long term health effect..... if you want and honest opinion, if you dont NEED to vape because you are sure you wont return to cigs then maybe it would be best to put it down. Like i said before i dont think vaping is healthy or even completely safe for that matter its just a million times better in my eyes then smoking. I had planned on using vaping as only a way to quit smoking, but i have come to really enjoy it and it has become more of a hobby for me then anything, In my eyes i was going to die from smoking, and i belive i have greatly reduced that risk and also got an awesome new hobby for myself.

But a wise man did once say

"Happy wife, Happy life."

 

[Kprthevapr]

She is the healthiest eater I have ever even heard of. Does circuit training 4 times a week. Not an ounce of fat on her. I don't think she's had sugar in about 8 years.

Really annoying.

Sounds like she needs a coke and cookie..,her sugar is low