Wife has turned on me. Need best 2 pieces of pro-vape/nic science.

[Traijan]

My Step Brother is a divorce attorney, let me know if you'll be needing his number.

 

[Ongeslepen]

It almost sounds like a losing fight for you man..

You can't win from a health "freak" (sorry for using that word, i don't mean it like that. It's my lack of knowledge of the english language). Because in the end she is right.. It is better not to vape or smoke, or drink etc etc. But hey! we are all humans and need something to ease our minds or to feel good or whatever your reason is. And besides.. being responsible your whole life is a freaking boring life.. just my opinion though..

But what (i think) i do know is.. Take something away that i love and i won't be that much of a loving man to my girl. Even if it's slightly bad for my health. Because i would feel restricted and always would be a bit grumpy that i'm not allowed to do something that i love. A stupid example, like skateboarding or whatever. It can be dangerous, break a leg.. end up in a hospital.. she off course would be worried as hell everytime i go out and do a stupid trick (in her mind). But for me, it's a stress release. Every once in a while i need that shot of adrenaline in order to feel ok about myself again. And when i feel ok about myself, i can give a lot to her. Pamper her, take care of her.. hell.. even go shopping with her and she knows i hate it. But i do it, because i got now the strength to do so. And she let me be me.. so i can give back.

i also think you show your woman a lot of respect by waiting with vaping until she goes to bed or leaves the house or whatever. I'm not even sure if i could do that. I always think, you knew what you started when you started dating me *i'm bit of an ... on this department* Anyway, good luck bro. Hope it all works out and that our combined heads here could somehow help you 2 out.

 

[Nivek13]

It almost sounds like a losing fight for you man..

You can't win from a health "freak" (sorry for using that word, i don't mean it like that. It's my lack of knowledge of the english language). Because in the end she is right.. It is better not to vape or smoke, or drink etc etc. But hey! we are all humans and need something to ease our minds or to feel good or whatever your reason is. And besides.. being responsible your whole life is a freaking boring life.. just my opinion though..

But what (i think) i do know is.. Take something away that i love and i won't be that much of a loving man to my girl. Even if it's slightly bad for my health. Because i would feel restricted and always would be a bit grumpy that i'm not allowed to do something that i love. A stupid example, like skateboarding or whatever. It can be dangerous, break a leg.. end up in a hospital.. she off course would be worried as hell everytime i go out and do a stupid trick (in her mind). But for me, it's a stress release. Every once in a while i need that shot of adrenaline in order to feel ok about myself again. And when i feel ok about myself, i can give a lot to her. Pamper her, take care of her.. hell.. even go shopping with her and she knows i hate it. But i do it, because i got now the strength to do so. And she let me be me.. so i can give back.

i also think you show your woman a lot of respect by waiting with vaping until she goes to bed or leaves the house or whatever. I'm not even sure if i could do that. I always think, you knew what you started when you started dating me *i'm bit of an ... on this department* Anyway, good luck bro. Hope it all works out and that our combined heads here could somehow help you 2 out.

This guys comment here.....best one yet....

 

[Alien Traveler]

This can easily be looked up even though I don't have a site to quote. Nicotine is a blood thinner. I am a heart attack patient.

I am sorry, but you are wrong here. Nicotine is not good for cardiovascular system (may be the only well documented bad things about nicotine). It is blood vessel constrictor, it increases blood pressure and heart rate.

I take a blood thinner in pill form every morning and have the consent from both my primary care doctor and my cardiologist to vape. My wife knows this for a fact and helps me convince others, including people in her family, that it's an extremely much safer alternative to smoking.

And here I completely agree with you - vaping is much safer than smoking even for people with hart problems.

 

[Kevin littell]

My wife tells me on a daily basis I need to quit."Quit the drinking its bad for you. Quit the vaping It's too expensive.


I tell her on a daily basis that as long as I bring home a paycheck I'll buy what I want. I also tell her in the same breath that in 27 years of marriage I've never told her EVER that she had to DO or NOT DO anything....Back off!


And the conversation is over till the next day....

 

[Kprthevapr]

I bought my hubby a new drill yesterday to justify the $70 I spent on vape gear for both of us! My mod was twice the price of the one I got him, so the drill made up the difference. We are both proud that WE don't smoke anymore! WE make our own juice and WE share in our vaping hobby

 

[Alien Traveler]

I bought my hubby a new drill yesterday to justify the $70 I spent on vape gear for both of us! My mod was twice the price of the one I got him, so the drill made up the difference. We are both proud that WE don't smoke anymore! WE make our own juice and WE share in our vaping hobby

You made me thinking about buying a drill for my non-vaping wife.
It should be pretty big drill to make up the difference...

 

[gofishtx]

I posted what I posted before I saw the part about your loss. Up to that point I agreed whole-heartedly with the posts above. But I understand better than some how tragedy can affect some people. Your wife lost something and she couldn't keep it from happening. Now she feels like she has lost control of everything. It's pretty common. Her way of coping is to try to control as much of the rest of her life as she can. Y'all lost a child, so now she is worried about losing you and is hypersensitive to the idea. Keep that in mind as you figure out what you want to do. Love takes patience. Just don't lose yourself in her sorrow... if that makes sense.

Hans is right on this. Maybe if you explain to her why you feel the need to vape and let her know that you do not want to smoke cigarettes and that maybe someday you will quit but it has to be when you are ready.

 

[SunshinePete]

So, she used to be supportive. But she always said "you can do it until they prove it's harmful."

She'd been pretty good about it outside of openly hating any flavor I vape. I don't understand the "eww. what is that? Cinamon Danish?! Ewww!" I mean, who the hell hates the smell of cinamon danishes? It was clear from the begining that she was only saying that to show her displeasure at vaping in general and not really the vapor.

At any rate, a friend of ours who vapes just got pregnant and she stopped vaping. My wife goes over to their place for a swim and our friend basically convinced my wife that I need to stop. Now my wife, who was giving in slowly to the little "Today Show" anti-vape puff-pieces that say "we just don't know," is now a full-blown antz member saying things like "you're an addict" etc. She won't listen to anything I tell her so I'll have to show her something convincing. It also has to be concise and to the point.

I know there's a lot out there but wondered if y'all could point me to one or two concise, irrefutable pro-vape studies regarding vape saftey and nic health effects as a last resort? She's a little pit-bull and will not stop until I give up vaping entirely. All under the justification that "I love you and I can't watch you do something that's unhealthy."

The comedy is that I only do it at night when she goes to bed for maybe 15 minutes. 3 mg nic and probably .5 to1.5 mls a day.

Thanks all.

This is an easy situation to resolve. You explain that she's only a woman and doesn't understand such things. She'll accept that, I promise you.

 

[pennysmalls]

I think in this situation the only thing to do is draw a clear line between what she does and does not have a say in. It can be explained respectfully but at the same time it can be explained that it's non-negotiable. How she deals with that will be up to her.

 

[crxess]

reddog, are you an Ex-Smoker or do you just enjoy Vaping.

An ex-smoker can make the justification that they Do not want to be cast back to Tobacco use.

A hobbyist has no excuse for doing what they do. It's just a thing. There is quite a difference.

Now, for me, Vaping broke a 45yr habit. I make the house payments and maintain everything in the Home. This in My Eyes gives me certain privileges. As long as what I do does not directly effect someone else there is no reason for confronting me.

 

[TyPie]

She is the healthiest eater I have ever even heard of. Does circuit training 4 times a week. Not an ounce of fat on her. I don't think she's had sugar in about 8 years.

Really annoying.

THIS pretty much explains EVERYTHING. And yes, my friend, you are SCREWED.

 

[HauntedMyst]

My wife is very supportive of vapi...lololololololol...I knew I couldn't get through it with a straight face! Really, just about anything that brings pleasure is on her list of no no's for me. I think all wives got together and had a meeting, wrote down a code for breaking their husbands spirits.

 

[BlueSnake]

This can only end badly.

When you are younger you always think you can work out these kind of problems. When you are older you say why did I put up with this s**t so long.

Life's too short and wives/husbands are a dime a dozen.

 

[RosaJ]

She obviously doesn't trust your ability to make decisions for yourself and doesn't think very highly of you for some reason.

Tell her you'll follow her friend's advice when you get pregnant. Good luck!

 

[Completely Average]

We both used to smoke. She used to always say that if they ever found a safe cigarette, she'd smoke again. I'm like "they found it! It's called a vaporizer!"

I started vaping late into my son's illness when the walls were caving in and have no doubt that I would have started smoking cigarettes since we lost him.

I'm gonna have to agree with Boden. I may be screwed.

Sounds to me like you need to sit down with her and have a LONG heart to heart talk.

And NOT about vaping. That's really insignificant. The complaints about vaping are just a symptom, not the actual problem.

She clearly has lingering issues about the loss of your son, and is projecting that fear on to you now. The problem is she's afraid of losing you now. She's afraid that you may develop health problems that take you away from her. It's not a totally unreasonable fear, in fact I would say that to some degree it's to be expected. However, left unchecked that fear could grow and become a bigger problem as time progresses. It could lead to her resenting you if you continue to do things that she feels is unsafe or puts you at risk. It could one day drive her away from you because she will feel that's the only way she can protect herself from the bigger loss of watching you die. I understand her fears and I'm sure that you do too, but it needs to be brought out into the open and dealt with now, before it becomes a bigger problem than it already is.

My advice would be to have a good heart to heart talk with her and try to convince her that you BOTH need some counseling here. Be it from marriage counselors or a psychiatrist, there is pain and grief and fear that needs to be dealt with, and you need to deal with it together. You need to make it clear to her that you're not wanting to do this because you think there is something wrong with her, you're wanting to do this because you know there is something wrong with both of you. You clearly love each other, but sometimes love just isn't enough. Sometimes you need a helping hand to get you through the trauma of the worst life can give you. The goal isn't to try to fix you or her, the goal is to try to bring some peace to the both of you. It's not your relationship that needs to be fixed, it's your hearts that need to be healed.

I sincerely wish you the very best.

 

[Robert Cromwell]

The term henpecked comes to mind.

 

[Alien Traveler]

The term henpecked comes to mind.

God blessed me. My command of English does not allow me to fully (partially?) appreciate a joke...

 

[rgerber]

Yep...my wife of 53 years did that to me.......sure gonna miss her.....grin......

 

[louie325]

well grow a pair and put your foot down
atleast you are not smoking cigs
the friend is a hypocrite if ever heard of one now that she can't vape now she's anti vaping
just dont vape around your wifey
but honestly if your wife is knit picking especially over something like vaping maybe there is more to your dilemma
my ex gf of 9 yrs every time i would smoke not even around her i would get all kinds of crap
after switching to vaping she would even go buy me juice with a smile
she was just flat out happy i didnt smell like any ashtray and that i was actually thinking about my health
and for me i dont need to go all scientific aslong as i dont stink, can breathe better im ok with vaping plus im sure one bottle of juice dont contain all the crap a single cig contains