Wife has turned on me. Need best 2 pieces of pro-vape/nic science.

[Robert Cromwell]

Is the Oposter an ex smoker or did he just take up vaping? If he just took up vaping then i can see her point. Starting vaping may not be much smarter than starting smoking. Vaping cant be good for ya.
Vaping tobe cool is like starting smoking to be cool. Neither one is.

 

[NOVA jon]

First off, sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like, my condolences to both you and your wife.

I'm sure your wife has your best interest in mind when she wants you to stop vaping, she has her reasons which may or may not be based on scientific fact. It may be difficult to get her on the same side of the fence you are on, especially with her friend whispering in her ear!!!

It's great that her newly pregnant friend has stopped, good for her! You however are not ready to do so obviously.

If I were you, this would be my response to your wife: "honey, I promise you, when I get pregnant, I'll stop!"

 

[Mad Scientist]

So, she used to be supportive. But she always said "you can do it until they prove it's harmful."

She'd been pretty good about it outside of openly hating any flavor I vape. I don't understand the "eww. what is that? Cinamon Danish?! Ewww!" I mean, who the hell hates the smell of cinamon danishes? It was clear from the begining that she was only saying that to show her displeasure at vaping in general and not really the vapor.

At any rate, a friend of ours who vapes just got pregnant and she stopped vaping. My wife goes over to their place for a swim and our friend basically convinced my wife that I need to stop. Now my wife, who was giving in slowly to the little "Today Show" anti-vape puff-pieces that say "we just don't know," is now a full-blown antz member saying things like "you're an addict" etc. She won't listen to anything I tell her so I'll have to show her something convincing. It also has to be concise and to the point.

I know there's a lot out there but wondered if y'all could point me to one or two concise, irrefutable pro-vape studies regarding vape saftey and nic health effects as a last resort? She's a little pit-bull and will not stop until I give up vaping entirely. All under the justification that "I love you and I can't watch you do something that's unhealthy."

The comedy is that I only do it at night when she goes to bed for maybe 15 minutes. 3 mg nic and probably .5 to1.5 mls a day.

Thanks all.

You are planning on trying to reason with someone who just wants to play a power/control game with you.

Good luck with that lol.

 

[AXIOM_1]

So, she used to be supportive. But she always said "you can do it until they prove it's harmful."

She'd been pretty good about it outside of openly hating any flavor I vape. I don't understand the "eww. what is that? Cinamon Danish?! Ewww!" I mean, who the hell hates the smell of cinamon danishes? It was clear from the begining that she was only saying that to show her displeasure at vaping in general and not really the vapor.

Trade her in for a new model! lol (jk) From what you have mentioned, I think you hit the nail on the head because she obviously has some type of displeasure for vaping in general and is using the "flavor" component as an excuse.... Yes indeed, who in their right minds would not like the smell (even though it is ever so slight even if you blow it directly in their face) of some of these flavors?

I am lucky because I happen to have a wife that is intelligent as well as loaded with much common sense. After smoking for 35+ years and then switching to chewing she was even "fairly" grateful for that because the smoke no longer bothered her (she is a non smoker).. However, even though she was grateful and very similar to your wife she would throw out digs at me about how gross chewing is or she would tell me I had gross tobacco in my teeth. Of course, like yourself, I was smart enough to know that she basically had a displeasure for the activity even though I was trying to stop myself from getting lung cancer.

When I found vaping though her attitude totally changed because I got rid of the gross chewing habit. She often tells me that occasionally she will smell a slight aroma and that it is very pleasant smelling. She says that no matter what flavor of juice I use. No more bad junk for her to contend with from either smoking or chewing and so she is now TRULY happy....... She wasn't TRULY happy with chewing (as displayed from occasional remarks) but she was wise enough to know I was no longer damaging my lungs and so she put up with it. She has told me that she loves that I have found vaping and she approves of it 100%.

 

[TFL!]

Sounds to me like you need to sit down with her and have a LONG heart to heart talk.

And NOT about vaping. That's really insignificant. The complaints about vaping are just a symptom, not the actual problem.

She clearly has lingering issues about the loss of your son, and is projecting that fear on to you now. The problem is she's afraid of losing you now. She's afraid that you may develop health problems that take you away from her. It's not a totally unreasonable fear, in fact I would say that to some degree it's to be expected. However, left unchecked that fear could grow and become a bigger problem as time progresses. It could lead to her resenting you if you continue to do things that she feels is unsafe or puts you at risk. It could one day drive her away from you because she will feel that's the only way she can protect herself from the bigger loss of watching you die. I understand her fears and I'm sure that you do too, but it needs to be brought out into the open and dealt with now, before it becomes a bigger problem than it already is.

My advice would be to have a good heart to heart talk with her and try to convince her that you BOTH need some counseling here. Be it from marriage counselors or a psychiatrist, there is pain and grief and fear that needs to be dealt with, and you need to deal with it together. You need to make it clear to her that you're not wanting to do this because you think there is something wrong with her, you're wanting to do this because you know there is something wrong with both of you. You clearly love each other, but sometimes love just isn't enough. Sometimes you need a helping hand to get you through the trauma of the worst life can give you. The goal isn't to try to fix you or her, the goal is to try to bring some peace to the both of you. It's not your relationship that needs to be fixed, it's your hearts that need to be healed.

I sincerely wish you the very best.

I agree with the above 1000%. This is the best advice that has been given.
Best Wishes to you both

 

[Jace75]

Instead of trying to convince your missus, maybe you should show her friend all the good evidence people have supplied you on here and once she's converted she can then tell your missus how wrong she was. Best of luck.

 

[RandyF]

Nicotine alone IS FDA approved, just take her to any supermarket or pharmacy and point her to the NRT's, which are sold without a prescription. Nicotine is also used to the treat medical conditions.

We know most of the dangers (as small as they may be) from vaping come from the flavorings, maybe a compromise would be switching to unflavored juice. I recently did, because of all the Diketone BS, and I have found I prefer it, albeit with a little menthol added.

If that doesn't work, then she is not willing to compromise and simply just wants her way.

 

[DeAnna2112]

There is not a day that goes by since losing my husband recently that i don't wish i had done exactly what your wife is doing. I wish i had done like your wife and quit smoking and took better care of myself and in return, stayed on my husband like white on rice to do the same..my husband might still be here today had i done that.

You have a very wise wife who loves you dearly......but keep in mind, you can't prove vaping won't cause long term health problems no more then she can prove it will...we just don't know yet, but i believe this is where she has the upper hand for wishing you would play it safe and not vape at all. I certainly find it understandable if she feels the unknowns of vaping are a concern for her. I wish we had more answers in regards to the long term effects of vaping to put her mind at rest. I wish you both well.

 

[AXIOM_1]

maybe a compromise would be switching to unflavored juice. I recently did, because the all the Diketone BS, and I have found I prefer it, albeit with a little menthol added.

Yes, I did the same thing as well and when mixing my juices I started making them unflavored. But, I didn't do it because of my wife but rather because of not knowing the health effects of flavoring. Most of the time my wife smelled nothing when I used flavored juices but every once in awhile she would tell me that she smelled a slight smell and that it was always very pleasant. To my surprise when I started making my juices unflavored it was not at all has horrid as I thought it was going to be. Still feels like smoking and I get the nice throat hit along with my nicotine fix.

 

[RandyF]

There is not a day that goes by since losing my husband recently that i don't wish i had done exactly what your wife is doing. I wish i had done like your wife and quit smoking and took better care of myself and in return, stayed on my husband like white on rice to do the same..my husband might still be here today had i done that.

You have a very wise wife who loves you dearly......but keep in mind, you can't prove vaping won't cause long term health problems no more then she can prove it will...we just don't know yet, but i believe this is where she has the upper hand for wishing you would play it safe and not vape at all. I certainly find it understandable if she feels the unknowns of vaping are a concern for her. I wish we had more answers in regards to the long term effects of vaping to put her mind at rest. I wish you both well.

Where does that end though. I mean, should he drive a car, there is a very good chance, no matter how safe he drives that he could be in an accident that kills him. What about the food he eats, what if her health concerns move over to that once she sees how far the "I only do it because I love you" goes. Tap water has some pretty nasty stuff in it, what if she determines she loves him too much to allow him to drink or bath in tap water. The sun causes skin cancer, he should just preempt this one and stay indoors, or carry an umbrella if he decides to risk it and head outside. The list can go on.

 

[mauricem00]

So, she used to be supportive. But she always said "you can do it until they prove it's harmful."

She'd been pretty good about it outside of openly hating any flavor I vape. I don't understand the "eww. what is that? Cinamon Danish?! Ewww!" I mean, who the hell hates the smell of cinamon danishes? It was clear from the begining that she was only saying that to show her displeasure at vaping in general and not really the vapor.

At any rate, a friend of ours who vapes just got pregnant and she stopped vaping. My wife goes over to their place for a swim and our friend basically convinced my wife that I need to stop. Now my wife, who was giving in slowly to the little "Today Show" anti-vape puff-pieces that say "we just don't know," is now a full-blown antz member saying things like "you're an addict" etc. She won't listen to anything I tell her so I'll have to show her something convincing. It also has to be concise and to the point.

I know there's a lot out there but wondered if y'all could point me to one or two concise, irrefutable pro-vape studies regarding vape saftey and nic health effects as a last resort? She's a little pit-bull and will not stop until I give up vaping entirely. All under the justification that "I love you and I can't watch you do something that's unhealthy."

The comedy is that I only do it at night when she goes to bed for maybe 15 minutes. 3 mg nic and probably .5 to1.5 mls a day.

Thanks all.

unfortunately the anti-vape crowd does not want to be confused with facts. it is all about control and tearing you down so that they can feel good about themselves.would she prefer that you return to smoking? women tend to be very self conscious. perhaps if you started pointing out some of her flaws she may stop nagging you. women tend to marry the best man they can get then try to change him into some unrealistic dream.if she is acting like a spoiled child maybe you need to start treating her like one. if you are taking good care of her she should feel lucky to have you.( before the women here attack me I know im a cromagnum male shovanist pig and I am proud to be a real man)

 

[WillyZee]

she could move in with her pregnant girlfriend

 

[Bunnykiller]

pull out the ash tray and lighter, put them on the counter in plain site along with an opened pack of ciggies..... when she fusses ( bi*****) point at the setup on the counter and tell her its either vaping or that ( while pointing finger in direction of the ciggie stuff)... let her make the choice ( since thats what shes trying to do anyway)... other than that she will make all sorts of fuss, unpleasant situations, general discontent to make your life miserable until you break and give in to her desires... its all a power play.... stand your ground vape with impunity ....

 

[mauricem00]

We both used to smoke. She used to always say that if they ever found a safe cigarette, she'd smoke again. I'm like "they found it! It's called a vaporizer!"

I started vaping late into my son's illness when the walls were caving in and have no doubt that I would have started smoking cigarettes since we lost him.

I'm gonna have to agree with Boden. I may be screwed.

maybe this is her way of dealing with the loss of your son in which case she is in serious need of some professional help her to get thru this

 

[Bunnykiller]

There is not a day that goes by since losing my husband recently that i don't wish i had done exactly what your wife is doing. I wish i had done like your wife and quit smoking and took better care of myself and in return, stayed on my husband like white on rice to do the same..my husband might still be here today had i done that.

You have a very wise wife who loves you dearly......but keep in mind, you can't prove vaping won't cause long term health problems no more then she can prove it will...we just don't know yet, but i believe this is where she has the upper hand for wishing you would play it safe and not vape at all. I certainly find it understandable if she feels the unknowns of vaping are a concern for her. I wish we had more answers in regards to the long term effects of vaping to put her mind at rest. I wish you both well.

call it fate, destiny, karma... when its your time to go its time to go, no stopping it... Ive been hit by lightning, involved in a motorbike accident that would end most peoples lives, smacked in the head by a 2X12 18' long falling from 12 feet up ( btw the Dr who examined me was amazed I was still alive)... so there ya go 3 times Ive been exposed to situations that would do people in... but Im still here... and its for a reason, theres something I need to accomplish in life that I have no idea what it is... but its going to occur one day and then I will be gone... and the weird part about it... its gonna happen and I wont even know it... maybe I will save someones life by lagging at a green light when they run the red one on their side....

 

[Jace75]

call it fate, destiny, karma... when its your time to go its time to go, no stopping it... Ive been hit by lightning, involved in a motorbike accident that would end most peoples lives, smacked in the head by a 2X12 18' long falling from 12 feet up ( btw the Dr who examined me was amazed I was still alive)... so there ya go 3 times Ive been exposed to situations that would do people in... but Im still here... and its for a reason, theres something I need to accomplish in life that I have no idea what it is... but its going to occur one day and then I will be gone... and the weird part about it... its gonna happen and I wont even know it... maybe I will save someones life by lagging at a green light when they run the red one on their side....

I think you need to change your name to lucky

 

[Ongeslepen]

Can Ecigarettes Save Lives? Short Documentary style Video

 

[Ou2mame]

Is it better than smoking? Oh yeah. Are there long term studies? Nope. We can assume all we want with what information we have, but long term we don't know. My gf is ok with me vaping because she believes it's better than me smoking. I quit smoking in Jan so she's pretty much on board with me vaping because she wanted to quit and me quitting helped her quit. She tried vaping for a while but quit that too. If she thought it was bad independently, not just better than smoking, I would have a hard time proving her wrong. It's probably not great for us. Who knows. Maybe it's just the smokers guilt talking. I feel better. I can run longer and ride mountain bike trails faster for longer. I feel healthier. That's proof to me. Instead of trying to convince your wife that it's healthy, you should just stick to the healthier. That you can pretty much prove without a doubt.

 

[LMS62]

Is the Oposter an ex smoker or did he just take up vaping? If he just took up vaping then i can see her point. Starting vaping may not be much smarter than starting smoking. Vaping cant be good for ya.
Vaping tobe cool is like starting smoking to be cool. Neither one is.

The OP has already stated that he and his wife both used to smoke.

 

[cindycated]

I'm still vaping, gang. It's just gotten to the point where it's a bit of an argument every time. Now she accuses me of sending her to bed early (when she's been asleep on the couch for 20 minutes, BTW) and it gets weird. It's her opinion but there hasn't been an ultimatum. She's worried is all. And I want to ease her worry with some quality and irrefutable science. It's not a pissing match or a battle or reason to leave someone. She's misinformed about an issue that people are saying will cause physical harm. NEITHER of us do well with that.

She's not controling or demanding in the least. In fact, she's the nicest most considerate person I know.

Just looking for the right articles to show her that outline how essentially harmless vaping is. Especially the little amount I do it.

How about this? http://notblowingsmoke.org
Some of the info is California-specific, but there's some info in there that refutes probably most of the things she's heard to form her opinion.

Or this: Learn About Electronic Cigarettes

Big Pharma and Big Tobacco have really deep pockets and a lot of friends in high places - politicians, government agencies, news media,.... They see ecigs as a threat to their industries, so what do they do? They use the same old tactic that's been used since the Salem witch hunts: Spread propaganda to turn the population against us. The more people they can turn against ecigs, the more laws can be enacted to eliminate ecigs. They don't want us to quit smoking or get healthier. That would kill their industries. Hopefully she'll be open-minded enough to at least consider this as their motive. Then she'll be more open to accepting the science.

Worse comes to worse, can you set some space aside in your house and turn it into a vape den? Some people really are repulsed by the smell (haha my mom), and seeing all the vape clutter we leave all over the place - maybe that's all it is. I knew a guy that vaped nothing but florals (honeysuckle, jasmine, etc.) because the ladies loved the smell. You could also take a step in her direction (of wanting to be healthy) by looking into not vaping diketones (not wanting to start a new debate, just look into it for now. Cinn Danish. ). Good luck.