Never Valentines....and now mama bears has taken to "forgetting" it's my birthday. And the birthday gift has gotten more pitiful each year.
Last year I told her to just get me a brand new bar of soap and leave me alone for an hour. Ok....30 minutes. Ok...long enough to make a pot of coffee...
:D..
Immediately the bar was full of ducks....wall to wall, flying around quacking very loudly and dropping duck poop on everything.
The bartender yelled at the man(had to tell....the duck din was deafening) that there must be something wrong with the bottle. He wished for a million BUCKS....not...
:D...
The bartender, who is completely amazed, says to the guy that he can't believe it . It's the most amazing thing he's ever seen.
He then asks the guy where he got it.
The guy smiles....reaches into the large suitcase and pulls out a very unique bottle and explains to the bartender that one...
Thanks embee....
I've got 1 for you. It's rather long so may do it in multi posts.
A guy walks into a bar dragging behind him a rather large suitcase. He makes his way to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender goes to get the beer and upon returning he sees that the guy has the large...
Your manhood is fine . You gave up the lion share of it when you said "i do"..(read this as whatever you say, cuz listening to you biatch about it makes me want to cut my wrists...:D)....this is why god created beer and loathing. He has a plan.
Unfortunately, you and I are at the bottom of that...
Fruity juice???? Yuck....
How about I throw you a junk punch and we go check the devastation in Gota's room?
Ladies went wild last night. One of them was apparently sporting a barbed wire thong. I SOOOOOO want to know who that was.
Just so y'all know....80" monitors won't hang on fabric....per the sales dumbass.....now.
NO SHIATE YOU STUPID.....sorry. All he needed to do was ask and then take the laughing as "ok....I'm a STUPID MF".....
"Hey Hawk.....figure out how to hang those monitors yet"?
"Why yes....yes I have you...
6mg....pffft....that's what we clean baby bottoms with where I come from.
Wife and her friends/ co-workers.....standard 33mg and "I don't give a shiate" meds.
Y'all need my leadership more than I thought. Forgotten valentines...squirrels on fire....all you have to do is ask.
That's what I...
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