About to relapse hard...

Status
Not open for further replies.

permafrying

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 1, 2011
1,169
1,058
34
montrose co
So i found out my girls been talkin to an old friend... A special friend.. im sure you can figure out what that means. Shes been lying to me sayin he just texted her but she never talked to him or anything. Confronted her on it a little but ago n she really couldn't keep a str8 story. Dunno if im over reacting givin my trust issues or if im right to think what im thinking. Im young and only been able to trust one woman I've been with so it's hard to know when im thinking right or not. But smoked one cigarette so far thinkin about going outside to chain smoke to try and drown out some stress and get away from her because she's laying right next to me pretending she's asleep

sent from tapatalk with a t- bolt
 

unfaithful

Senior Member
ECF Veteran
May 25, 2011
183
22
United Kingdom
Hey! Don't even think about it. I'm sure you will sort everything out with her. Smoking cigarettes will not help how you feel or the situation. Have you noticed how a stressed person takes a puff on a cigarette and is still stressed after he puts it out? Its doing you more harm than good, so take the strongest juice you have and have a few puffs on your pv while you think what you're gonna do. Relax and talk to her again.
 

Capers

Full Member
Verified Member
May 16, 2011
68
25
Riverview, FL
Hey! Don't even think about it. I'm sure you will sort everything out with her. Smoking cigarettes will not help how you feel or the situation. Have you noticed how a stressed person takes a puff on a cigarette and is still stressed after he puts it out? Its doing you more harm than good, so take the strongest juice you have and have a few puffs on your pv while you think what you're gonna do. Relax and talk to her again.

I just wanted to say I kind of chuckled at "unfaithful" joining the discussion :)
 

permafrying

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 1, 2011
1,169
1,058
34
montrose co
Meh health is the least of my concerns givin my past. But she's sleepin right next to me right now... or pretending to be asleep. The way I see the conversion goin is i break up with her or she breaks up with me if im wrong and thinkin like this. Either easy it's gonna hurt and tommorows gonna suck. On a brighter note haven't smoked anymore then that one

sent from tapatalk with a t- bolt
 

permafrying

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 1, 2011
1,169
1,058
34
montrose co
Just ask her to tell you the truth and if she won't tell you, tell her that you'll assume that something did happen.

Lol that won't help much me and her think the same as far as our trust issues. Which is one of the things that scares me actually

sent from tapatalk with a t- bolt
 

Capers

Full Member
Verified Member
May 16, 2011
68
25
Riverview, FL
I know that you're not really worried/thinking about health right now, but if it wasn't a concern, you wouldn't be here nor have started vaping.

Either way, that's not REALLY the issue right now. The best thing to do, and I mean it as someone who has been through a LOT of similar situations, is to go to sleep and talk or whatever tomorrow. I've NEVER had a positive outcome by hashing things out in the middle of the night, just ends up with two people feeling frustrated and/or causes things to become drastic/dramatic. When you sleep, your mind resets and you can approach things from a better perspective. Not to say it's going to magically fix things, but it's never a good idea to get into things when you're in a frenzied mindset. If you think she's just pretending to sleep, tell her that while right now you have a lot of uncertain feelings and there are things you two need to talk about, that you'd like to just break the tension and agree that it's ok for you both to just go to sleep and talk about things tomorrow.

But! You MUST not let the normal routine of tomorrow keep you two from talking. I wish you luck, I feel for ya, been there too many times and it just sucks.
 

permafrying

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 1, 2011
1,169
1,058
34
montrose co
I know that you're not really worried/thinking about health right now, but if it wasn't a concern, you wouldn't be here nor have started vaping.

Either way, that's not REALLY the issue right now. The best thing to do, and I mean it as someone who has been through a LOT of similar situations, is to go to sleep and talk or whatever tomorrow. I've NEVER had a positive outcome by hashing things out in the middle of the night, just ends up with two people feeling frustrated and/or causes things to become drastic/dramatic. When you sleep, your mind resets and you can approach things from a better perspective. Not to say it's going to magically fix things, but it's never a good idea to get into things when you're in a frenzied mindset. If you think she's just pretending to sleep, tell her that while right now you have a lot of uncertain feelings and there are things you two need to talk about, that you'd like to just break the tension and agree that it's ok for you both to just go to sleep and talk about things tomorrow.

But! You MUST not let the normal routine of tomorrow keep you two from talking. I wish you luck, I feel for ya, been there too many times and it just sucks.
Thanks that's exactly what i needed to hear... But really i didn't start vaping for my health im only 20 im to dumb to care bout my health and im completely content with that... I know I really need to sleep on this but don't know iF that's going to happen. The four sleeping pills i took about 6 hours ago have long and gone and the liquor isn't helping either so i dunno...


sent from tapatalk with a t- bolt
 

Capers

Full Member
Verified Member
May 16, 2011
68
25
Riverview, FL
Just remember that communication and trust are pretty much the two core components that make up a relationship. If one has a lapse, the other needs to pick up the slack.

So if there's been a trust hit, then there needs to be twice as much communication. And pure, honest communication; but that does require both sides. Try putting yourself in her shoes, as someone who maybe has been untrue but also as someone who hasn't done anything wrong.

Maybe she has been talking to someone, but maybe it's because there's something under the surface and you just both need to communicate better. Unless you're involved with a complete sociopath, people will sometimes act out/seek out what they're feeling is missing in their life. But people usually don't actually talk to their partner about it because they're afraid or nervous of their reaction.

I've been in that situation too, then after we've actually brought things into the open, rather than just hoping the other person should just KNOW, all of the sudden things are better..and if there was something going on which was affecting the trust, the person acting out will usually stop since they feel their needs/feelings are being addressed. Of course, if the problems aren't fixed, the pattern will repeat and slowly become toxic.

The best way to approach it is to take the high road, go to her (tomorrow) and ask if she feels there's anything wrong in the relationship, maybe something she'd like from you...it's a waste of energy to focus on who she's talking to, and equally pointless to ever spend a second of time on it..people will do what they want to do, regardless if someone is watching, they'll just be more careful in the future to not get caught. Gotta focus on the root of the issues, open, honest, communication. It's both the EASIEST and HARDEST thing to do.
 
Last edited:

permafrying

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 1, 2011
1,169
1,058
34
montrose co
Thanks that really helped with what imma says tomorrow. Our communication is complete ****.. and coming from a man saying that it should say something... She ignored me for a week on n off because she wanted some space even though she knew I woulda givin it to her no problem if she asked because it's happened before

sent from tapatalk with a t- bolt
 

Capers

Full Member
Verified Member
May 16, 2011
68
25
Riverview, FL
Try and clear your mind for the night (as best as you can), think about random other things, stuff you enjoy, a new PV mod or something =) But NO analogs, I'm not too far away to drive there and smack you!

I'm hitting the hay, best of luck, but remember to phrase your talks with "I feel ...", don't focus on any accusations, anything she's been doing, etc.

Night!
 

permafrying

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 1, 2011
1,169
1,058
34
montrose co
I
Try and clear your mind for the night (as best as you can), think about random other things, stuff you enjoy, a new PV mod or something =) But NO analogs, I'm not too far away to drive there and smack you!

I'm hitting the hay, best of luck, but remember to phrase your talks with "I feel ...", don't focus on any accusations, anything she's been doing, etc.
Night!
Lol you got a little bit of a drive. Thanks though man


sent from tapatalk with a t- bolt
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread