All About Bullying

[NoizMaker]

Hey All,

I have a thread on the Canadian Subforum that I was encouraged to share with everyone on this forum, so I decided to post a link to it here;

http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/canada-forum/227639-food-thought.html

I hope you all read it and that it can serve as food for thought for everyone here! Regardless of where you are from on this wonderful spinning globe, this matter effects everybody at one time or another and I truly hope that this will bring the matter to the forefront so that one day we can live in a world without it!

 

[bassnut]

I'm somewhat of a veteran from the Outside forum at ECF.
The understanding upon entering and participating in that forum is that it isn't for the thin-skinned, easily offended or faint of heart.
It's fairly moderated as that personal attacks are not tolerated for long.

"Attack the post not the poster" is the rule...and occasionally people get put into the "penalty box" or the "sinbin" as it's called here, for transgressions which only lasts for a few days.

The discussions get heated as we talk about everything from religion, literature, science, politics, sexuality, history and all of the ways that those topics can interlace.

There is a fair amount of bullying going on. It's hard to avoid. It's sort of like "real life" capiche?
No punches are pulled with regards to peoples feelings. If you publish your opinion expect to get challenged by somebody.

Be prepared to defend it with reason, personal experience, verifiable resources, statistics etc. (Google is your friend)
It's amazing the way relationships form from this. After awhile trust and respect builds among people with differing opinions after they've acquired a history of engagement and become known to the Outside community.
Willingness to engage, show up and standup, in the long run is more valuable than intellectual capacity, vocabulary, POV, education etc.

I heard a Japanese story once about people being like a bunch of potatoes just pulled from the ground with clinging clumps of dirt. When they get put into a sack together and get shaken, they bump up against each other knocking the dirt off and eventually come out clean.

Don't be afraid of controversy or challenge. It's vital for growth.
Don't be afraid of growth for that matter.

ETA
I almost forgot to mention that you all are invited to participate. We welcome fresh blood new opinions.
Don't be afraid. It's only people like yourselves wanting to communicate their ideas and feelings about world events. Everybody has something to say.
What's the worst that could happen?
You might get ignored, bullied, laughed at, agreed with....
Your opinion might even ring true or even false with other participant's opinions and spark pages of further dialog.
Horrible thought. Horrible.
Expect the worst.

 

[thomas_mikel]

I have never been able to indentify with the bully mentality. I honestly don't understand it, nor can I rationalize it's motivation.

 

[NoizMaker]

I'm somewhat of a veteran from the Outside forum at ECF.
The understanding upon entering and participating in that forum is that it isn't for the thin-skinned, easily offended or faint of heart.
It's fairly moderated as that personal attacks are not tolerated for long.

"Attack the post not the poster" is the rule...and occasionally people get put into the "penalty box" or the "sinbin" as it's called here, for transgressions which only lasts for a few days.

The discussions get heated as we talk about everything from religion, literature, science, politics, sexuality, history and all of the ways that those topics can interlace.

There is a fair amount of bullying going on. It's hard to avoid. It's sort of like "real life" capiche?
No punches are pulled with regards to peoples feelings. If you publish your opinion expect to get challenged by somebody.

Be prepared to defend it with reason, personal experience, verifiable resources, statistics etc. (Google is your friend)
It's amazing the way relationships form from this. After awhile trust and respect builds among people with differing opinions after they've acquired a history of engagement and become known to the Outside community.
Willingness to engage, show up and standup, in the long run is more valuable than intellectual capacity, vocabulary, POV, education etc.

I heard a Japanese story once about people being like a bunch of potatoes just pulled from the ground with clinging clumps of dirt. When they get put into a sack together and get shaken, they bump up against each other knocking the dirt off and eventually come out clean.

Don't be afraid of controversy or challenge. It's vital for growth.
Don't be afraid of growth for that matter.

ETA
I almost forgot to mention that you all are invited to participate. We welcome fresh blood new opinions.
Don't be afraid. It's only people like yourselves wanting to communicate their ideas and feelings about world events. Everybody has something to say.
What's the worst that could happen?
You might get ignored, bullied, laughed at, agreed with....
Your opinion might even ring true or even false with other participant's opinions and spark pages of further dialog.
Horrible thought. Horrible.
Expect the worst.

Hey there Bassnut, I understand your analogy and it is a very thought provoking point. I understand that this forum is sort of an exception to many rules, but IME bullying in it's true form is more like throwing those potatoes into a bucket of mud.

Debates, even heated debates with high emotions, are more what I think that potato analogy you made is all about and I am more than for that. There would be no progress without it and it's in the diversity of opinion and approach that any kind of understanding can be achieved.

Nothing worth doing is ever easy and oft times a debate can prove trying, but such is the spice of life.

Just to clear the air in case of any misunderstanding of my intentions; this post is not directed at any one group, person or forum, it's actually a broad brush stroke painting across bullying of any kind in any place. I have witnessed the bullying in almost every facet of the vaping community and any community really, but my true point is that bullying needs to come to an end.

Unlike a heated debate, bullying's intent is to rob the victim of control and there is no true intellectual stimulation there for either party. Thus, I find it is not conducive to true growth and rather an extreme setback.

Thanks for the post, I really enjoyed reading it and respect a thinker's thoughts!

 

[uba egar320]

I hear ya Noiz. I understand where you are coming from. But I think that bullying coming to an end is a completely unrealistic idea to hold on to. It's as old as time iself, and won't go away due to laws\stricter punishments. I'm positive that one day my son will deal with a bully, as I did. I wish I could say that I fought the good fight lol. But that's not what happened. I was scared (and rightfully so, the kids in question didn't make it out of high school without serious criminal records), and made my presence scarce. But it's part of who I am. It happened, and I dealt with it. Now...lol, I'm a man. And no one in their right mind would attempt to "bully" me. Would I be the same without going through what I did? Idk. I just think it is something most will deal with in one way or another. For better, or for worse. But I'd bet my bottom dollar that no measures taken, be it government, school, or parents is going to get rid of some kids messing with others. JMHO

 

[bassnut]

Thanks, NoizMaker.
Actually I got home late last night and there wasn't much action here on the board so I just got busy writing and got carried away a bit.
It was more of an "appreciate for the Outside" piece than anything and I just hitched it to your topic.
I see now that it was actually sorta off-topic. My apologies.
Like I said, it was late.....

 

[emus]

I know bullies and I know nice guys.
Odds of winning seem to favor the bullies.

 

[bassnut]

"Can’t shut up! Every bully I ever met can’t shut his ....in’ mouth... except when he’s afraid." - Seth Bullock (Deadwood series)

Aren't bullies usually cowards?

 

[emus]

"Can’t shut up! Every bully I ever met can’t shut his ....in’ mouth... except when he’s afraid." - Seth Bullock (Deadwood series)

Aren't bullies usually cowards?

Not cowards. People just call em that in attempt to hurt their pride.

 

[Mac]

"Can’t shut up! Every bully I ever met can’t shut his ....in’ mouth... except when he’s afraid." - Seth Bullock (Deadwood series)

Aren't bullies usually cowards?

That is not always true. Sometimes they are cowards. Sometimes they are sociopaths. Standing up to the latter can make things worse. The fat kid who beats up the skinny kid might bolt if enough skinny kids clique up on him. The kid who is lashing out because his mom is on dope and his father beats him. The kid who has snapped. The kid who joined a gang. He might just pull a gun if you try to overpower him. Advise your children wisely. Even the most reknown psychoanalysts will tell you that there is no cookie cutter explaination that fits every type of abberant behavior. I stood up for myself in school and refused to be bullied. It totally screwed my grade averages. If you get suspended enough for fighting in many school districts they will straight up flunk you for the semester even while maintaining an A average. That happened to me twice. If I had just took what I was given I might have gotten a scholarship to MIT or something. Instead of going to community college.

 

[xg4bx]

personally i find the concept of "cyber bullying" funny. is someone holding a gun to ones head forcing them to use social media? are their hands tied and they can't click the "make profile private" button to end harrassing messages?

as to sticking up for yourself in real life i think "zero tolerance" policies are an absolute fraud. i think much of it degenerates into "cyber bullying" because they can't settle it man to man. and if one is punished for standing up for themselves i can see how anger seethes and seethes until someone explodes.

i'm becoming a veteran of "outside" and as heated as it gets, everybody has kept it in perspective and gentlemanly. its never (at least for me) degenerated into arguing over PM, threats or anything like that. and i think outside of the forum most of us would get along great in real life.

 

[xg4bx]

Not cowards. People just call em that in attempt to hurt their pride.

obviously theyre not cowards, theyve got the balls to start pushing people around, don't they?