Hiya,
Rundown/background: Bipolar, Major Depression, ADHD, PTSD, Panic/Anxiety (the last 2 sorta outdated in my opinion though I suppose still clearly manifest themselves, and there is on "my record" Schizo-Affective Disorder, but that was before the bipolar diagnosis and because I was psychotic, paranoid, and delusional for a while, esp. off meds).
Rx: Effexor XR 300mg (morning), Lamictal 200mg (night: before bed), Amphetamine salts up to 20mgx3 (now though just doing 2 doses to try and stretch, and since I sleep a lot: noon 20mg, 3:30pm 20mg)
Issues:
The evenings have been bad for me for quite some time, ~ 10 years. In those 10 years I've been on dozens of meds. Started smoking regularly about 5 years ago, vaping exclusively for 1.5 mo. I don't feel the need to smoke until afternoon, and it just progresses. Yes, this then corresponds to the adderall use, and I admit taking it does increase my needing to smoke, otherwise I become a confused and aggravated wreck. But without the adderall, I am even more depressed, and it just gets increasingly worse as the day progresses. Oh, also, in the morning I don't want coffee, but the desire for it grows in the afternoon/evening, as does for soda. So, I guess that is to say, my desire for stimulants in general increases throughout the day.
I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with this phenomenon of decreasing mood as the day progresses, and/or/as well as increased smoking/vaping/stimulant consumption as the day progresses? Where mornings and noon are fine and dandy, then afternoon get sad, and evening sometimes extremely depressed. I can't increase any of my meds really since they're already pretty high, and I've been at these dosages for about 6 years now too. If allowed, I'm big on napping anytime anywhere. I can drink 10 cups of coffee and smoke a handful of cigarettes and take 20mg of adderall and ride my bike a mile in sub-zero temps all in the morning and still fall back asleep for several hours (bad habits during college...the biking good, the rest bad
)
Thoughts/comments/suggestions? I of course see a psychiatrist, and the above issue is really small potatoes compared to what I've dealt with in the past, as well as what I'm dealing with now. But since I've been relatively level headed and not in the depths of despair for nearly 6 years now, I suppose it brings to the forefront some more nagging issues that I thought could be relevant to discuss here. If there's time I'll bring it up with my doc next time I see her, but as I mentioned it's small potatoes for me. It's just uncomfortable noticing, since it's like peeking through a curtain and seeing an increasingly clearer and closer familiar picture of what was once, for such a long time, such a very dark and bad time. Don't want those curtains to open, but there's idle stage hands itching to do the devil's work.
Cue the crickets?
Rundown/background: Bipolar, Major Depression, ADHD, PTSD, Panic/Anxiety (the last 2 sorta outdated in my opinion though I suppose still clearly manifest themselves, and there is on "my record" Schizo-Affective Disorder, but that was before the bipolar diagnosis and because I was psychotic, paranoid, and delusional for a while, esp. off meds).
Rx: Effexor XR 300mg (morning), Lamictal 200mg (night: before bed), Amphetamine salts up to 20mgx3 (now though just doing 2 doses to try and stretch, and since I sleep a lot: noon 20mg, 3:30pm 20mg)
Issues:
The evenings have been bad for me for quite some time, ~ 10 years. In those 10 years I've been on dozens of meds. Started smoking regularly about 5 years ago, vaping exclusively for 1.5 mo. I don't feel the need to smoke until afternoon, and it just progresses. Yes, this then corresponds to the adderall use, and I admit taking it does increase my needing to smoke, otherwise I become a confused and aggravated wreck. But without the adderall, I am even more depressed, and it just gets increasingly worse as the day progresses. Oh, also, in the morning I don't want coffee, but the desire for it grows in the afternoon/evening, as does for soda. So, I guess that is to say, my desire for stimulants in general increases throughout the day.
I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with this phenomenon of decreasing mood as the day progresses, and/or/as well as increased smoking/vaping/stimulant consumption as the day progresses? Where mornings and noon are fine and dandy, then afternoon get sad, and evening sometimes extremely depressed. I can't increase any of my meds really since they're already pretty high, and I've been at these dosages for about 6 years now too. If allowed, I'm big on napping anytime anywhere. I can drink 10 cups of coffee and smoke a handful of cigarettes and take 20mg of adderall and ride my bike a mile in sub-zero temps all in the morning and still fall back asleep for several hours (bad habits during college...the biking good, the rest bad
)Thoughts/comments/suggestions? I of course see a psychiatrist, and the above issue is really small potatoes compared to what I've dealt with in the past, as well as what I'm dealing with now. But since I've been relatively level headed and not in the depths of despair for nearly 6 years now, I suppose it brings to the forefront some more nagging issues that I thought could be relevant to discuss here. If there's time I'll bring it up with my doc next time I see her, but as I mentioned it's small potatoes for me. It's just uncomfortable noticing, since it's like peeking through a curtain and seeing an increasingly clearer and closer familiar picture of what was once, for such a long time, such a very dark and bad time. Don't want those curtains to open, but there's idle stage hands itching to do the devil's work.
Cue the crickets?
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