I know you were joking, but it's prompted me to share my little cat story.
My wife and I had always been dog people. Our last one was a little angel Wheaten that had been abandoned as a pup at a church in a local town.
The two cats were strays that had evidently been left behind in my old neighborhood. I had seen them around outside, but they would never let anyone get close to them. I found out a neighbor had been putting out food for them, but she couldn't fully adopt them because she already had cats of her own.
Out of the blue, and within a couple days of each other, they "adopted"
us. Since we were moving at the time, we decided to bring them with us and give them a new start. The calico has now become a house cat, and the white prefers to be outside most of the time, but still comes in to eat and sleep.
Now, back to our dog, Morgan... like I said, she was the sweetest little angel imaginable. She was our "baby"

. Aside from being a little hellion when she was a pup, she turned out to be one of the most well-behaved and healthiest dogs I've ever had. But, sadly, she was getting along in years, and her health began to fail rather quickly a few months after getting the cats.
My wife was blessed to be with her during her final moments. As she was passing, the calico was nearby, and gently reached out with her paw to touch Morgan's shoulder. My wife was so touched by that gesture, and it seemed to help her cope a bit.
That pretty much sealed the deal for having the cats in our lives. We still miss Morgan so much, but we are glad the cats came along when they did.