Just to add more to the conversation:
It took a very long time for me to find the right doctor and the correct medications. I'd go through phases that lasted years where I'd just give up trying to find a solution. I couldn't hold down a job and I didn't have a social life. I was alone for the most part. Taking the initiative to find a doctor and make an appointment is difficult during the times you need it most, and as I said before, it's hard for the people around you to understand that you need help. You're not just going to "get over it." Medications aren't a cop-out. Etc.
I've been given various diagnosis throughout my life, starting when I was 12. I was first brought in to the doctor with an ulcer, and he described me as being "a bit anxious." My parents neglected to mention that I was working full time in a factory while being "home-schooled" to keep our family from becoming homeless. Our house had no heating. One winter, I had a pet goldfish in a bowl next to my bed. I woke up and the water had frozen solid. That's how cold it was inside. Added to the abuse I was also dealing with... well, I didn't have a very good start in life.
The second diagnosis was when I was 17 and started having panic attacks and flash backs to the abuse. They said I had PTSD. Then I became clinically depressed. Then I was "a danger to myself" and had to fight to convince the doctors not to institutionalize me. I don't remember what the next thing was... something about dissociative tendencies and attempts to "withdraw from reality." After that it was generalized anxiety and panic disorder and then "bipolar" because I'd swing from being overly anxious to being overly depressed.
My current diagnosis is episodic mood disorder not otherwise specified, but my psychiatrist has told me to not worry so much about titles. She's really been great. One of the few meds that have helped me is too expensive for our budget at $500 a month, so she loads me up with free samples every month (I actually bring a backpack so she can fill it up, since a sample box usually only has about 5 pills).
I've been on zoloft, prozac, paxil, effexor, cymbalta, celexa, wellbutrin, trazadone, vibryd, lamictal, seroquel, xanax, valium, and clonazepam (probably others I'm forgetting). The worst part is that the anti-depressants never helped me, but every doctor insisted that's what I needed. Thankfully my current psychiatrist actually listened to me and took me off of them. My current cocktail is lamictal (a mood stabilizer), seroquel (an anti-psychotic), and occasionally xanax (similar to valium) when I'm at my worst.
I hope I didn't bore everyone with the novel, but I like the idea of this thread. Mental health is invisible most of the time and it's great when people can share their stories so others can understand what it's really like.
It took a very long time for me to find the right doctor and the correct medications. I'd go through phases that lasted years where I'd just give up trying to find a solution. I couldn't hold down a job and I didn't have a social life. I was alone for the most part. Taking the initiative to find a doctor and make an appointment is difficult during the times you need it most, and as I said before, it's hard for the people around you to understand that you need help. You're not just going to "get over it." Medications aren't a cop-out. Etc.
I've been given various diagnosis throughout my life, starting when I was 12. I was first brought in to the doctor with an ulcer, and he described me as being "a bit anxious." My parents neglected to mention that I was working full time in a factory while being "home-schooled" to keep our family from becoming homeless. Our house had no heating. One winter, I had a pet goldfish in a bowl next to my bed. I woke up and the water had frozen solid. That's how cold it was inside. Added to the abuse I was also dealing with... well, I didn't have a very good start in life.
The second diagnosis was when I was 17 and started having panic attacks and flash backs to the abuse. They said I had PTSD. Then I became clinically depressed. Then I was "a danger to myself" and had to fight to convince the doctors not to institutionalize me. I don't remember what the next thing was... something about dissociative tendencies and attempts to "withdraw from reality." After that it was generalized anxiety and panic disorder and then "bipolar" because I'd swing from being overly anxious to being overly depressed.
My current diagnosis is episodic mood disorder not otherwise specified, but my psychiatrist has told me to not worry so much about titles. She's really been great. One of the few meds that have helped me is too expensive for our budget at $500 a month, so she loads me up with free samples every month (I actually bring a backpack so she can fill it up, since a sample box usually only has about 5 pills).
I've been on zoloft, prozac, paxil, effexor, cymbalta, celexa, wellbutrin, trazadone, vibryd, lamictal, seroquel, xanax, valium, and clonazepam (probably others I'm forgetting). The worst part is that the anti-depressants never helped me, but every doctor insisted that's what I needed. Thankfully my current psychiatrist actually listened to me and took me off of them. My current cocktail is lamictal (a mood stabilizer), seroquel (an anti-psychotic), and occasionally xanax (similar to valium) when I'm at my worst.
I hope I didn't bore everyone with the novel, but I like the idea of this thread. Mental health is invisible most of the time and it's great when people can share their stories so others can understand what it's really like.
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