Bipolar disorder. My story, smoking.

[oxygen thief]

I am as we "speak"

EDIT: That pretty much sums it up. Although the euphoric or manic periods seem to be very short with me. Usually ranges from as short as an hour and may last upwards a week.

I haven't noticed sound setting me off, although on occasion a situations that would aggrivate anybody sometimes seem to be amplified to me.

Rapid cycling bipolar can be 4 times a year to 10 times a day. The fact that you can pin down the changes says a lot. If you want to see a doctor you can keep a mood chart for a few weeks and show them the results. They will be impressed. If it walks like a duck....

 

[tlmoody27]

Children with BP rapid cycle most of the time. My 11 y/o has BP. I do too and I tend to have mixed states, which are horrible!

As far as what someone was saying about sound sensitivity, that sounds more like a sensory issue. My son has sensory integration issues because of Asperger's Syndrome. He had several years worth of occupational therapy to help with it. That may not be practical for everyone or necessary for that matter but you may want to look up sensory integration issues and see what you think. You can have sensory sensitivities independently of other diagnosis's.

 

[HighlanderNorth]

My university sent out an email when they first instituted the smoking ban. The email gave statistics on smokers that I found quite offensive, such as smokers have a lower IQ, are more likely to drop out, have lower grades, and are more likely to suffer from a mental illness. I'm surprised a university would do something so stupid as to insinuate that correlation = causation. Maybe people who have mental health issues are more likely to smoke and these underlying issues also cause lower test scores and grades. It makes more sense than implying that your IQ drops when you start smoking or that all these problems will be solved when a person quits.

That brand of stereotyping in today's universities doesnt surprise me one bit! Many professors are of one particular political persuasion who regularly stereotype just about every group of people in this country, with most groups stereotyped negatively. I have a step-sister, and she her husband are both professors, and not surprisingly, they believe, and teach their negative stereotypes to their students. Most of it is complete BS too! Its ironic, because I went to school in the 80's, and I had teachers of that same political persuasion who taught us that stereotyping anyone is wrong, and disgusting. Its a shame those same, more moderate ideals have been swept under the rug by many, in favor of more radical ideals today, and with zero accountability nothing is going to change.


We should all stick to the FACTS when it comes to trying to convince smokers to stop. There are plenty of real, legitimate reasons to stop that we dont need to make things up! Its just like global warming. There are enough real facts to justify cleaning up our act, that we dont need to lie or grossly exaggerate the situation in order to teach people to do the right thing. If you lie to people, they arent going to believe you., and they are more likely to refuse to clean up their environment, because they figure they've been deceived about global warming and that its a farce! Its like the "boy who cried wolf".... Same for smoking and for other bad habits.

 

[HighlanderNorth]

Yikes! OK, I've heard voices off and on for years but just told my doc a few weeks ago. They sound like a radio announcer talking non-stop and sometimes music. I always hear just enough that I can't make out what they are saying or what I'm hearing. No voices telling me to do things. They are so unobtrusive that I never brought it up. I've heard of people without any diagnoses do the same thing. Still when I told my shrink he was writing like crazy in my chart.

Not sure about other sounds setting me off but I hope it wasn't your neighbors TV. I'd be more concerned about the acting out, impulse control and why you didn't turn it down instead of destroy it. Do you have a temper otherwise?
I know listening or seeing Celine Dion or Yanni would be a major buzz kill.

I can tell you that if I had to sit in front of a TV listening to much of today's music, I'd probably smash the TV with a sledgehammer too! But that has nothing to do with mental issues, thats a predictable and justifiable response to some of this lousy music! The aggravating factor here would be the realization that these same "artists" as they like to be called(yeah!) are paid so much more money than the fantastically talented musicians of yesterday(60's, 70's, even 80's), which adds to the frustration in a big way. That and the fact that they have the audacity to charge hundreds or thousands for a friggin' concert ticket, and whoa! Out comes the sledgehammer! LOL!


To: tlmoody27, I didnt realize Asperger's syndrome was real, because just in the last year there was a South Park episode where they were making fun of it like it was a made-up ailment. That and I had never previously heard of it. I just read about it and apparently it is related to Autism.

Here is one sentence describing a symptom: "Some may choose to talk only to people they like". Well, that doesnt seem too odd, as I dont go out of my way to converse with people I DONT like......

 

[Stormlark]

weight gain. Especially atypical antipsychotics, Zyprexa, Seroquel etc. Sometimes you've gained 40 pounds before you realize it.

It's funny that you mention this. I've gained just about 40 pounds since I started taking the seroquel. It's been hard to adjust to because I was underweight for my entire life up to this point, and now I'm officially overweight. This is one thing my husband is not supportive with. He's very upset with me, because he says a medication can't make you gain weight unless you've increased your caloric intake, which may be true. Three hours after taking the seroquel, I start craving sweets with such intensity... and I've never been like that with food before. So my husband says the weight gain is a self-discipline issue and that I should be ashamed of myself.

I'd start exercising, but there's a serious hereditary disease that runs in my family (my older sister died from it), and the number one thing I've been told by doctors is that I need to be extremely careful not to overexert myself. So I do a lot of walking, but I'm not really supposed to do more than that, because I may end up in a wheelchair within the next 20 years as it is, and I don't want to make that happen any sooner. The disease is Mytochondrial Myopathy, which is fairly rare and not much is known about it yet.

So yeah, when it comes to the weight gain, I'm kinda screwed. Seroquel is the only medication that's ever helped me, and I can't do much exercise, and I crave sugar CONSTANTLY. It sucks.

 

[tlmoody27]

I can tell you that if I had to sit in front of a TV listening to much of today's music, I'd probably smash the TV with a sledgehammer too! But that has nothing to do with mental issues, thats a predictable and justifiable response to some of this lousy music! The aggravating factor here would be the realization that these same "artists" as they like to be called(yeah!) are paid so much more money than the fantastically talented musicians of yesterday(60's, 70's, even 80's), which adds to the frustration in a big way. That and the fact that they have the audacity to charge hundreds or thousands for a friggin' concert ticket, and whoa! Out comes the sledgehammer! LOL!


To: tlmoody27, I didnt realize Asperger's syndrome was real, because just in the last year there was a South Park episode where they were making fun of it like it was a made-up ailment. That and I had never previously heard of it. I just read about it and apparently it is related to Autism.

Here is one sentence describing a symptom: "Some may choose to talk only to people they like". Well, that doesnt seem too odd, as I dont go out of my way to converse with people I DONT like......

Yes, Aspergers Syndrome is very real. It is on the autism spectrum. Um, as far as that specific symptom, no I wouldnt say that was accurate. There are many aspects to AS including lack of social understanding, sensory issues, intense focus on specific subjects, and lots more.

Sent from my HTC EVO on Taptalk.

 

[dhdonline1]

Rapid cycling bipolar can be 4 times a year to 10 times a day. The fact that you can pin down the changes says a lot. If you want to see a doctor you can keep a mood chart for a few weeks and show them the results. They will be impressed. If it walks like a duck....

Funny you should mention a mood chart. I was thinking of the idea of doing a mood "diary" while I was driving to do my grocery shopping

 

[LongHaul]

The hardest part of the mood diary or any thing repetitive (even meds) is it is so easy to convince ourselfs that there isn't anything wrong when we're manic. Or in my case that the meds cause the depression and if I don't take them then I won't ever come down.......be nice if it ever actually happend


Sent from my truck using 3 toasters a broken microwave and 6 rubber bands McGyver style......Chuck Norris aint got crap on me

 

[oxygen thief]

It's funny that you mention this. I've gained just about 40 pounds since I started taking the seroquel. It's been hard to adjust to because I was underweight for my entire life up to this point, and now I'm officially overweight. This is one thing my husband is not supportive with. He's very upset with me, because he says a medication can't make you gain weight unless you've increased your caloric intake, which may be true. Three hours after taking the seroquel, I start craving sweets with such intensity... and I've never been like that with food before. So my husband says the weight gain is a self-discipline issue and that I should be ashamed of myself.

I'd start exercising, but there's a serious hereditary disease that runs in my family (my older sister died from it), and the number one thing I've been told by doctors is that I need to be extremely careful not to overexert myself. So I do a lot of walking, but I'm not really supposed to do more than that, because I may end up in a wheelchair within the next 20 years as it is, and I don't want to make that happen any sooner. The disease is Mytochondrial Myopathy, which is fairly rare and not much is known about it yet.

So yeah, when it comes to the weight gain, I'm kinda screwed. Seroquel is the only medication that's ever helped me, and I can't do much exercise, and I crave sugar CONSTANTLY. It sucks.

These things screw with your metabolism big time. They can also give you diabetes regardless of weight gain. I'm close. I guess you have to have calories to gain weight but that isn't the only answer. I used to be in motion all the time. You know, the guy at his desk on the phone and you look down and his feet are bouncing up and down. I became a drummer by beating pots and pans and driving my mother nuts! Now I'm s l o w. All of that makes a difference. But of course the addition to every fast food meal of a large strawberry shake doesn't help but still, great for breakfast too.
You know, you had no "willpower" problems when skinny. You still have that willpower but the enemy is much more viscious now. I have a lot of trouble with the weight. It stresses your body and gives you the self-esteem of a roach. I want to tell people oh, I'm on meds for bipolar, I'm not a sloth. But that's just digging the hole deeper.
Stay with Seroquel if it's working because Zyprexa is as bad, maybe worse. This class of medication has its pitfalls but it's a lifesaver to many. Cr*p, I'm out of Oreo's again.

 

[oxygen thief]

The hardest part of the mood diary or any thing repetitive (even meds) is it is so easy to convince ourselfs that there isn't anything wrong when we're manic.

You got a point there. It's amazing going through a long battle with depression then wake up the next day feeling better than you've ever felt but you don't put two and two together, I don't. You don't think I can conquer the world as anything but true. Yesterday never existed. Now I take meds that make me feel bad to prevent me from ever feeling that good again. Trouble is the next one may take you in another direction. I slept two hours a night for a few weeks and it didn't register at the time. And I like sleeping! Had a lot of energy. Biological changes in the brain manifest as psychological states. Bipolar is an interesting disorder. Not all that fun though.

 

[Trilly]

To Oxygen Theif and all who have posted, thank you, for some I can't imagine the courage it can take to write and share such personal experiances. You are all wonderful people and I wish you all the best. I'll also admit that like most, I had misconceptions about bipolar but reading through has cleared some of these. I think I was seeing it more as bipolar having 2 personalities but now it is like not having control of the switch for your moods, is that right?

First, I am not bipolar but I do have OCD, I know it isn't in the same ballpark but I have taken courage from your stories to share. There are certain things that grasp me and seem so mundane and unimportant to others that they just think I'm spoiled and have to have things my own way (yes that has been said to me), little things like books and CD's have to be in a certain order, clothes folded a certain way and the most annoying (at least to my husband), the volume on the TV or stereo has to be on an even number. I can't use plastic cutlery to the point that when I went on a camp with school I wasn't allowed to take cuttlery with me, the teachers confiscated it as an 'offensive weapon' so I ate nothing but fruit and raw carrots (just washed) the whole time I was away. I know nothing bad will happen if a Stone Roses CD is placed before a Jarre CD, the TV won't blow up if the volume is on number 9 but it drives me nuts, I have to sort it and I have to do it now. This may sound familier, I don't know but it may sound strange that as long as my 'niggles' are in order I don't mind if dirty dishes are left over night and the splatter of toothpaste my son left on the mirror does cause me even the slightest murmer.
As for my son, I get sick to the back teeth of having to explain to people like his nursary teachers that while I know kids get coughs and colds galour and he will get them but I need to know if there is anything going round, he has Cystic Fibrosis and a heart condition, because he looks fine (most of the time) they treat me like a paranoid parent, he's only 3.5 and already developing allergies to meds from getting every bug going.

I can't remember which post exactly but I agree, just because you can't see something physically wrong with a person doesn't mean it doesn't exist or any less serious.

 

[Amish Ed]

Thanks for sharing Trilly, it isn't that easy to do.

 

[JENerationX]

I'm glad everyone has had the courage to share here.

 

[LongHaul]

Lol I thought I was the only OCD freak that has to have the T.V. On a certain volume number....


Sent from my truck using 3 toasters a broken microwave and 6 rubber bands McGyver style......Chuck Norris aint got crap on me

 

[Covert]

Thank you Oxygen Theif for sharing your story! I feel as if I am alone or at least the odd man out sometimes, and it truely makes me feel a bit better to know i'm not the only one fighting this disorder. Even though in the back of my head I know i'm not the only one I have yet to have anyone I know admit they have this disorder. Not to mention hearing darn near all of the same words come out of friends, relatives, and even my own spouses mouth about my disorder. I've been to the ward as well for a attempted suicide during a depressed state that I was lucky enough to survive only to stop taking the meds because I had been mis diagnosed and fed up with trying to become stabilized with a cocktail of drugs that wern't working time and time again. I began self medicating with drugs and alcohol, which looking back on almost 8 years later only made matters worse. One day I had a really bad episode, and decided to seek help again. This time though the new doc got my meds right the first time and diagnosed me with bipolar 1. Since then I have been kinda ok, but still have my off days now and then. (Trilly to answer your question " I think I was seeing it more as bipolar having 2 personalities but now it is like not having control of the switch for your moods, is that right?" Yes....kinda, if I am not on my meds I have very little control, my meds make me more aware to a certain degree, but sometimes i'll go overboard and end up apologizing to people ten minutes later because I realize just how much of a jerk I was.) Quitting smoking has been a huge accomplishment for me. I never thought I would go this long without picking up a cigarette I cannot begin to thank all the people that contribute to this site for keeping me away from cigarettes by giving me a viable option and the know how to do so. Cheers Guys and Gals

 

[oxygen thief]

I watch, read, listen to about anything I can about MI. Probably should do something fun but these things interest me. Stephen Fry is bipolar and did a two part program on it. It's extremely good if anyone wants to check it out. Hope I didn't already post this.

Stephen Fry-The Secret Life Of The Manic Depressive-Part 1 - YouTube

 

[Butters78]

I honestly think I may be bipolar.. I'v been noticing this a lot recently. At certain points during the day I feel really irritated, it's like something upset me for no reason, then after a few minutes I feel better, like a euphoric feeling like everything is hunky dory. It's really strange. I've been taking l theanine, happy camper, and passion flower to try to help level me out which somewhat helps. I don't have health insurance currently so I'm just dealing. The happy times are great but the irritated times are hell.

 

[Berylanna]

I honestly think I may be bipolar.. I'v been noticing this a lot recently. At certain points during the day I feel really irritated, it's like something upset me for no reason, then after a few minutes I feel better, like a euphoric feeling like everything is hunky dory. It's really strange. I've been taking l theanine, happy camper, and passion flower to try to help level me out which somewhat helps. I don't have health insurance currently so I'm just dealing. The happy times are great but the irritated times are hell.

I'd take a close look at your blood sugar levels too. There are weird forms of diabetes or even hypoglycemia that mimic bipolar disorder, and full-on diabetes can mimic agitation or depression, though I've seen more of the agitation.

If you can't afford tests, then see if increasing the protein in your diet and avoiding sugar and eating more often changes the pattern. A diabetic I know who has studied all of this stuff a LOT (she is disabled and reads a lot!) says 1/2 peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat with a teeny bit of jam is a good between-meal snack if you are hypoglycemic. And a lot cheaper than carrying around $1.40 protein bars!

 

[flarg]

It's also a bad condition of bipolars as we focus on stuff like yard work...

Weeding... :-( That can get out of control how fastidious and time consuming...and I've just ruined everything doing it, since I've had to get every last trace of root and... blah. A whole summer on just one little area...and yet I ignore the rest of the invasive jungle...Stupid stupid stupid...

 

[dokebilee]

Amazing story my friend. I literally stood up from my computer and clapped at your marvelous story that revealed your imperfections, and then made to perfection through experience and wisdom. My minor in college is Psychology (you don't want to know what my major is) and although I've read about all about the subject pertaining to Bipolar disorders, I wish they had told me a story just like yours.

Truly inspiring, Bravo.

- Louis