When I was a kid I used to play around with electricity. My dad grounded me til I could conduct myself better.
Electricity
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A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly.
Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch and he just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed.
Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her.
Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats 12 pounds of bananas as his last meal and, lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him. This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything - but the conductor won't die. So again, he is set free.
Amazingly, he again regains his job. It takes him one day to lose his temper again and beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket. He returns to death row, eats 12 lbs of bananas as his last meal, and survives the electrocution. At this point the executioner can take no more, his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret. "What is it with the bananas?" he asks.
"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it," replies our friend, "I'm just a bad conductor."
Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch and he just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed.
Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her.
Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats 12 pounds of bananas as his last meal and, lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him. This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything - but the conductor won't die. So again, he is set free.
Amazingly, he again regains his job. It takes him one day to lose his temper again and beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket. He returns to death row, eats 12 lbs of bananas as his last meal, and survives the electrocution. At this point the executioner can take no more, his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret. "What is it with the bananas?" he asks.
"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it," replies our friend, "I'm just a bad conductor."
Current condition: Shocked! Shocked I tell you.
I'll show myself out to the next thread.
Cheers
I
I'll amplify that. If I have the capacity.
You know, Nikola Tesla was famous for changing his mind.
In fact, when his colleagues would ask his opinion on a subject he would often just reply, "Oh, I don't know. My thoughts on the matter are alternating currently."
In fact, when his colleagues would ask his opinion on a subject he would often just reply, "Oh, I don't know. My thoughts on the matter are alternating currently."
But the strange thing was that he had two children, one of each sex, the boy turned out well and became a famous actor but unfortunately the girl didnt make much of herself. The boy who turned out to be the actor tried to help her but it became a lost cause as she ended up becoming a transistor!
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