#1
In 1977, my dad got me a red Schwinn Stingray bicycle for Xmas, just like this one:
A few days after the best xmas ever, I parked it on the front porch for two seconds while I ran inside to grab my coat. When I came back, it was gone.
For this xmas I don't want another Stingray, but the decapitated heads of the evil jerks who stole my bike.